Moral Dilemma - Should I tell my friend?

I may have missed this point earlier, but are you sure that the money was in place before the dinner i.e when did you last check the cash before the dinner took place. I don't think you should limit your suspicions to the one person that you do not like because that sum of money could tempt a lot of people even family.

I agree. In fact, someone else could easily use the knowledge that your suspicion would immediately fall on this one person to hide their own actions.
Or perhaps someone completely unknown walked in through an open back door and took it?

Which is why you need to involve the Guards - they will ask the right questions and hopefully help you get to the root of the matter.

Im astonished that someone would even consider not going to the Guards for a theft like this - its a crime, if someone in your home had threatened you with a knife you would report it wouldnt you?
 
I agree and was on more or less the same track when I posted this earlier:

Could there be any reasonable explanation for the alleged disappearance of the money other than the friend's girlfriend taking it? Think carefully and objectively about this.
 
I agree. In fact, someone else could easily use the knowledge that your suspicion would immediately fall on this one person to hide their own actions.
Or perhaps someone completely unknown walked in through an open back door and took it?

They would have to go to the coffee maker, remove the little toy from the top, flip open the lid, take out the money, replace the lid and the toy. My own reasoning is that "x" removed the little toy, which weighed the lid down, to have a look at it, saw the lid slightly up which revealed the rolled up notes inside.

In the interests of accuracy it's not an actual pot, just one of those coffee makers which has a glass pot on a heating plate and you pour the water into the container at the side. The money was in that container part. For security reasons I always keep the back door locked, even when I am in the house and have a dog who doesn't welcome strangers.


Which is why you need to involve the Guards - they will ask the right questions and hopefully help you get to the root of the matter.

As I said, my inlaws are not the type who would "understand", believe me.

Im astonished that someone would even consider not going to the Guards for a theft like this - its a crime, if someone in your home had threatened you with a knife you would report it wouldnt you?

Totally different scenario, no comparison there. I wasn't hurt or physically threatened thank goodness but I appreciate your thoughts.
 
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I may have missed this point earlier, but are you sure that the money was in place before the dinner i.e when did you last check the cash before the dinner took place. I don't think you should limit your suspicions to the one person that you do not like because that sum of money could tempt a lot of people even family.

Good point. This whole story is starting to sound like A Grand Don't Come for Free by 'urban poet', Mike Skinner...
 
An outside possibility is that hubby or someone close to you in your family whom you trust has a gambling/alcohol/substance abuse problem etc was overcome with the need for it and hence couldnt resist the money once it was uncovered. It may seem unlikely but it is not impossible.

OMG, I have been with him since 1964 and if I don't know him by now I never will! Come to think of it, I've noticed him slipping the odd bottle of vino into the trolley at Tesco!;)
 
Well, just teasing out different possibilities - you seem fairly sure its the one person, in that case I suggest you go to the guards and tell them of your suspicions and why. Let them interview her.
 
If you do decide to go to the Gardai, I'd suggest you do NOT let anyone else know that you have reported it. Let the Gardai do their job, and don't give suspect(s) lots of time to hide the evidence.
 
Next day, when I went to get the money to bring to the bank, I discovered my money was missing. None of the guests were in the kitchen. I trust my friend 100% but his gf has told me blatant lies in the past.
OK - put it this way to posters in general - would YOU convict anybody based on this evidence? I know that I wouldn't.
 
OK - put it this way to posters in general - would YOU convict anybody based on this evidence? I know that I wouldn't.

No. Based on whats known Id simply call the guards and tell them there was money there on a particular date and then it was gone and in between there was a dinner party with the following guests, 2 of whom spent a large part of the evening in the kitchen - and then Id let the guards deal with questioning people.
 
At this stage, aren't the guards going to be a bit 'annoyed', for want of a better word, that you waited so long to report a crime ? (Assuming you do actually report it).
 
No. Based on whats known Id simply call the guards and tell them there was money there on a particular date and then it was gone and in between there was a dinner party with the following guests, 2 of whom spent a large part of the evening in the kitchen - and then Id let the guards deal with questioning people.
yeah exactly. thats exactly what I would do
Exactly.
At this stage, aren't the guards going to be a bit 'annoyed', for want of a better word, that you waited so long to report a crime ? (Assuming you do actually report it).
Better late than never I suppose?

But since the original poster seems unwilling to report the matter to the relevant authorities it seems to me that there's little that they can do.

On the original issue of whether or not to tell the friend that the original poster suspects his girlfriend of the theft it seems to me that without specific evidence to support such a suspicion this could be dodgy - e.g. potentially slanderous even.
 
On the original issue of whether or not to tell the friend that the original poster suspects his girlfriend of the theft it seems to me that without specific evidence to support such a suspicion this could be dodgy - e.g. potentially slanderous even.

Yes, totally agree that without evidence, it will be very difficult to approch the subject at all.
 
Yes, totally agree that without evidence, it will be very difficult to approch the subject at all.

Definitely - which is why its no good throwing suspicions here and there. OP could find themselves being sued if not careful.

Just let the guards investigate it, its their job.
 
So - has the OP made a decision on her course of acftion yet?

Surely there have been enoiugh replies at this point ?
 
Yes there have been enough replies, thanks to all who offered suggestions and help. If there are any further developments I will post here :)
 
The only way to solve your dilemma is to "ask about money", loath as you are to do so. Make everyone aware that money went missing on the night they were in your house.
Your friend should be able to draw his own conclusions if his girlfriend seemingly suddenly has lots of money. In fact you could be warning somebody else - you will probably never know.
On the other hand, should you see a rift in a relationship, you may have a better idea where the money went.
 
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