Crisis - debts due to gambling

with respect i feel it does not matter what type of gambling is involved. as the saying goes..he would gamble on two flies climbing a wall.
 
mercman said:
JimboJones, think you are wrong there. If there is an urge to go online leave the limits alone. Simply get rid of the computer and block any online accounts permanantly.
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and while you're at it get rid of his mobile phone, his land line, his Sky Digital, his shoes etc.
 
That is hilarious ....Not. In case you didn't realise, AAM has been requested to assist with a post where there was (hopefully gone) a dreadful problem. It may be wise to offer some advise, ideas or emotional assistance. You never know -- you might be a pussy cat yourself one day.
 
Stupid Boy said:
I know i have gone off on a tangent but i really just dont know where or who to turn to!
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You need to take responsibility for you own actions. You should mentally decouple the gambling problem from the gambling debt; debt is debt. It's too easy to gamble online/by phone so you should close all such accounts and consider cutting up your credit card and changing your Laser for an ATM only, lest you be tempted to open another betting account. I suppose it might be useful to go to a GA meeting as has been suggested. The best way to beat an addiction may be to replace it with another, maybe sport/running, join a gym? Once you take responsibility and take steps, if it were me, I'd tell her, and if it proves to be a deal breaker then so be it.

BTW. I know a lad who had a major gambling problem, he went into his personnel dept. and told all, they sent him on a two week (full board) course to sort him out; it worked he doesn't bet now, got married/house/kid.
 
Hey All,

Once again many thanks for all the advice...

Just an update of how I'm getting on...

First off I have banned myself from all gambling sites, this is in addition to removing all cards from the sites... I have cut up all credit cards but have kept my debit card.

I have applied for the Rabodirect loan but was turned down owing to the basis i have not built up a large enough credit history in the country... so failing that I have applied for a loan with Tescos... should hear something from them in the next day!

If i am able to secure the refinancing it would be a massive lift off my shoulders but the longer it drags out the less confident I am about the whole thing!
 
Congratulations on doing something constructive.

However, there is no mention of going to GA. I agree with other posters in that it is essential to go and confront the problem.

By cutting up the cards etc. you are not addressing the root cause. Until this is done, there can always be a moment of weakness and you will find a way to gamble. Then it's back down the slippery slope again.
 
well done stupidboy - but what have you done to address the gambling addiction? - as the previous poster said - you are not addressing the root cause.
 
mercman said:
That is hilarious ....Not. In case you didn't realise, AAM has been requested to assist with a post where there was (hopefully gone) a dreadful problem. It may be wise to offer some advise, ideas or emotional assistance. You never know -- you might be a pussy cat yourself one day.
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I was not making light of the situation, apologies if anyone took it that way. I was responding to your comment - the solution is not to get rid of his computer as there are so many alternative ways that he could gamble.

He needs to address the problem, getting rid of his computer is not a solution.
 
Sorry folks forgot to mention the main one... I have booked to attend the GA meeting in town after the easter break... hopefully give me time to get the loan and finances in order beforehand...

Tesco loans called yesterday to say they wouldnt be able to offer me a five year term but would consider a three year term to take to the credit board... had no issues with this as itll be the difference of 50 euros a week to me but would anyone be aware of how the application would be judged... i mean would it be normal for a lender to call to ask if you would be prepared to accept a reduced term?
 
re your query about whether someone might call this will not happen without your express permission. i suspect you are worried your partner may become aware of the proposed loan so bear in mind you will be getting letters in the post re acceptance etc of the loan
 
Sorry Dewdrop... I think you have misunderstood, I meant could I read anything into the thinking of the credit panel owing to the phonecall, they would have obviously made some preliminary judgement at which the telephone call followed?

In relation to the local credit union, I am not a member of any unfortunately.
 
it would seem to suggest they are prepared to consider your loan application otherwise they would have declined it. you will know fairly soon i assume. i hope your temptation to gamble is under control and please follow the advice of many to keep in touch with GA. it is really only people who have suffered this or were in close proximity with such a person fully appreciate the absolute need for this course of action so as to ensure there is no relapse. you are not the only one.
 
dewdrop said:
you are not the only one.
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you are not the only one at all - many many people suffer gambling addictions, its absolutely fantastic that you have taken the first and most difficult step - admitting that you have a problem. Best of luck to you, the debts will get sorted and GA will help you stay in recovery from the gambling addiction.
 
Folks... just received the call from Tesco to state that the loan application has been declined on this occassion... don't know where else to turn to...

Has anyone got any other suggestions... I really was confident of getting that loan amount... Im gutted!
 
Hello,

Have you tried Halifax?

A friend of mine was in a similar situation (although owned slightly more) and got a 5 year loan with them?

Best of luck!
 
stupidboy - sorry to hear bout Tesco - can you try any and all loan providers?

Did you get to make a start with GA?
 
Stupid Boy, I was in the same boat in terms of the gambling addiction. In my case, it only lasted about three months. I got into it before I got married. It was a lot to do with pre-wedding nerves. I was doing it through a very popular online bookmaker. I wasn't gambling on horses. It was stupid lotto betting. Just after I got married, my wife saw my credit card bill and that's when it all came out. I promised my wife that I would stop. I wrote to the online bookmaker and asked them to close my accounts. I haven't been in a bookies since. I hope you can get through this without treatment. It might be no harm in you making an appointment with an addiction counsellor. I wish you the best of luck mate. I know what it's like.
 
Folks...

I bit the bullet last night and told my girlfriend... couldn't believe how understanding she was... she just accepted it as a mistake but is worried that I may relapse so she has taken over the money situation at the moment... This isn't really a big deal for me as I have been wasteful with my money as far back as i can remember...

She has cleared the AIB loan with her savings and arranged for me to pay 1000 a month on the credit cards until I clear them and work something out with her to pay her back...

I slept last night for the first time in months... I had started to turn to drink to forget which is always a slippery slope but at least I have got the situation under control now and I can get my life back on track...

Just glad I have got it back now when i'm 23...
 
Fair play to you mate, good stuff on keeping the site updated.

She's a keeper by the way! :)
 
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