This thread should be renamed Last of the Summer Whine!
Learning that you can say no, including to someone close to you, and have that decision respected is an important foundation for asserting boundaries later in life. The approach we all grew up with of teaching children to obey adults, be polite, and tolerate unwanted physical contact has hardly been an unqualified success in protecting us from abuse.
Have people not noticed that is much less common nowadays to hear parents commanding their kids to give people hugs and kisses? They might ask, "Would you like to say goodbye to Uncle Arbitron?" Nine times out of ten, the child offers a hug, which is lovely, smiles all around. Occasionally they just give a wave or ignore me altogether. Somehow, despite those humiliating rejections, I struggle on...
The coded language about "agendas" and "attacking" the Irish family is bizarre. I didn't realise that traditional family values included demanding physical affection from children. This is similar territory to the grandparents who get into a strop when told not to kiss a baby. Even when they are told that it's to prevent the child from getting cold sores which in newborns can cause brain swelling and death, they still act like they are being punished. Even though it's about the child's welfare, not the feelings of the alleged grown-ups, these grandparents make themselves into victims.
Hugging your grandchild (or your own child) is not a human right. If they want a hug or a kiss they can initiate it. But if you ask for one they should be allowed to decline. If a grown-up is so desperate for physical affection, find a willing adult partner that you're not related to. It's not a child's responsibility to meet anyone's emotional needs.
