single mum expecting second child...

M

mummy

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Hello, everyone im a new at this site and i have big worry and cannt calm down:((
situation looks like that; i have 1 child ,he is 3 years old and now i expecting second child,everything looks ok ,but i im very depressed because i even dont know my babys father,i had short romance with that men,and he went to America...i didnt feel that im pregnant untill 3 months of pregnance(now im 4th month pregnant) the thing is that im getting One Parent Family,because not keep in touch with first child`s father.Just dont know what to do...:((( when i should to report to social that i expecting other child or can not say untill child will born????????
thanks
 
go down to your social welfare office,explain your situation,the father left and went back to the u.s.a . they will help you in anyway they can.i have 2 children.2 diferent dads.both ran when i became pregnant.social give me loan parent for both children and helped me with renting a property.

good luck :)
 
thankyou for the answer ,about father i dont know nothing only name and he is irish ,because he was here on holiday ,i dont know even mobile ,nothing;(so its better to go now to say to social about pregnancy you saying...
 
i will try to go asap.i getting rent allowance too,so i have to inform social (one parent family)and health board(rent) too?sorry for silly q? but im very confused:confused:
 
cleverclogs7 said:
go down to your social welfare office,explain your situation,the father left and went back to the u.s.a . they will help you in anyway they can.i have 2 children.2 diferent dads.both ran when i became pregnant.social give me loan parent for both children and helped me with renting a property.

good luck :)
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There is no point informing SW as the baby is not due for another 5 months.

There is no problem making a claim for a second child when the time comes. Of course, they will ask for details of the father and ask yopu to look for maintainence but if the situation is as you stated and you tell them this, there will be expectancy to do any more than you can to trace him.
 
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Sorry to hear about your situation. Why don't you have a look at the above; you need to talk to someone and get support during this difficult time. Forget about social welfare for the moment, as welfarite says, baby is not due for another few months. But you are understandably upset and anxious and you need to talk in confidence to someone who will listen and help. Take a deep breath and calm down, it's normal to be very upset and frightened but there is help out there and you'll get through this. Best of luck.
 
Just note that Cura is a [broken link removed] so may not provide the same breadth of counselling/advice as [broken link removed].

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thankyou for advices and help,but i feels really bad i lost half hair in 4 weeks from such a stress...Welfarite, i dont believe that cannt find him,because i thinking he could have a gf in U.S.A too,because he not wanted even to meet me again:(((
 
Hi mummy,
What a hard time for you right now..
Things look bad now and stressful but will all work out for you..
Have you any family or friends that can lend you some support now??
As others have said social welfare will sort out money etc when your baby arrives.
So take care of yourself and relax..
Bluee
 
yes i know what you mean ,but i affraid that when child will due will be too late ...because my origin is Lithuanian, i live in Ireland for 4 years nearly..and i afraid that social will say where you was ealer,why not said ealer ??maybe you live together with that man and took One Parent Family payments too?????
 
It is true that they investigate some claims, they may visit your home to ascertain that you are not co-habiting but if you are not there is not issue or problem with you.

Please stop stressing about that issue, you need to look after your health at this time and stress can be a major problem when pregnant. As Welfareite states you make the claim after the birth of your baby and don't worry you may be in a position you never planned or expected to be in but all will work out well. Are there Lituanian community or expat groups where you can get support in regard to having someone to talk to?
 
I agree. Now is not the time to be worrying about what will happen after baby is born. From a Social welfare point of view, as Gillarossa says, the claim will be investigated but you have a legitimate entitlement to claim so you will be paid for the second child on Oner Parant Family as you are not living with anybody, father one or father two.
 
Hi, I presume you've been to your doctor already, but they should be of support also. Not sure if your other baby is Irish too, but you'll probably be aware that all the services and care you need are free and you'll be fine. Don't panic, your baby is a blessing and will bring such joy, after you calm down from the shock!

All will be fine. You are among many in a similar situation.
 
Thankyou all for support,im appreciate that... hopfully everything will be Ok,i try to go to talk with someone from cura or diff agency
 
mummy.hair loss is normal in pregnancy,but stress will make it worse.
tryu not to worry.social will help you with cost of buggy /pram and baby bed.you still have a few months to go before the big day.but start making a list of questions for your social welfare.theres no harm in going to see them if it puts your mind at rest.
 
I found this link and thought it might be helpful.
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http://www.alb.ie/index.php?subj=showchp&id
The last seems to have different groups in different communities if you need to talk to a fellow migrant. I think it would be worthwhile contacting your local community welfare officer, most of whom are very helpful and will guide you on what to do re you SW entitlements.
See you GP, combined care between your GP and the maternity hospital is free and in your position, you will be given extra help. You are not on your own and if you calm down and contact the various agencies already mentioned , you will know better how to proceed. In the meantime, look after yourself.
 
For the future It may be a good idea to speak with your Doctor about family planning.
 
mummy said:
thankyou for advices and help,but i feels really bad i lost half hair in 4 weeks from such a stress...Welfarite, i dont believe that cannt find him,because i thinking he could have a gf in U.S.A too,because he not wanted even to meet me again:(((
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If he is Irish, then perhaps you can trace where he is from him in Ireland, and find out where he is in the US. Then using the Hague Convention you could get some maintenance from him. Obvioulsy you would, I assume, have to prove paternity too. Info on the section that deals with that in the Dept. of Justice is below..

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if i was 18 years old would be normal ,that i know nothing about contraception, but for me will be soon 27.... sometimes life decides things for us i guess:rolleyes:i cannt stop blame myself for that ,but need to live ...im very sensitive and affraid if i go to social may they not understand me ,ignor etc:(thats why i not waiting that day:(
 
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