single mum expecting second child...

Mummy, the important thing is to look after yourself and get the help you need to make the right decisions. You have no need to fear the people in SW but if you look up the agencies as recommended, I have no doubt that there will be people available to help you with these problems. Blaming yourself is no good, action is what is needed. You need support, you are not ill, this baby if it happens may be the best thing that ever happened to you. How many of us on this boards were planned or even wanted, but most people get on with things and do their best. So Mummy ,contact the agencies, go to the doctor, keep your head high , and if possible find someone to talk to. Are you a member of a church? Would it be possible to contact some fellow national in whom you could confide, you have lots of possible actions you can take, but pregnancy waits for no one so don't delay. It's very difficult for you at the moment but like all problems, thinking about them without trying to resolve them makes them seem huge.
 
Mummy,
Please be assured of one thing, nobody in either the health services or social welfare will make smart comments about your need to access contraception. That fact is of course known to you and you do not need to have it said on this forum, your doctors and midwifes will help you there.You will be treated with dignity.Any wise person knows that even with best practise, contraception can fail.
So Mummy, forget about blame or smart comments, calm down, you are healthy, you can get help and you will get through this. Best of luck
 

Well said!
 
Idunno said:
Here's a judgement. Keep your knickers on girl.
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hmmmmm, nice to see a completely useless hurtful comment made to another human being who has reached out for some advice and help.
Clearly you have failed to realise that it actually takes two people to create a pregnancy? Perhaps you should educate yourself on how pregnancy comes about, how contraception is not 100% guaranteed, and most of all, how a bit of empathy would not go amiss when someone is upset and stressed out.
Suggesting to any woman that she 'keep her knickers on' is patronising, rude, insensitive and shows nothing more than an intelligence level that is sub-standard, and a complete lack of touch with reality. People have sex. Get over it.

Mummy, please do not let ignorant and incredibly rude posts like that one put you off posting here. I think perhaps you need to contact some organisation or group who will offer you some emotional support, its very very important that you look after yourself right now.
Dont be afraid of meeting judgemental and insensitive people in social walfare, they are all used to dealing with many different situations and will treat you with respect.
 

Agreed .....

Mummy ..... feel free to share/ask etc. .... most people here are genuinely willing to help.

The insensitive post by Idunno is a reflection on him ... not on you.
 
Niallers said:
For the future It may be a good idea to speak with your Doctor about family planning.
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Niallers.kick her while shes down why dont you :mad:
I for one was on the pill for 2 yrs and i got preggo with my 1st.never missed one and always took it on time.so after that i went on the injection,every 3 months without fail and guess what,i got pregnant.

sometimes mother nature takes over.
 
Idunno said:
Here's a judgement. Keep your knickers on girl.
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Lovely comment, are you living in the 21st century I wonder?? How much of a narrow minded tool are you really? It must be bliss to live in such a Utopia fuelled world as yours - you need to live in the real world now and again.

Mummy - please ignore this comment posted, not everyone is like this. I would like to think that the majority of people (as indeed is proved by the majority of the posters here!!) would sympathise and would love to help point you in the right direction!!

Good luck with everything though, its scary now but I bet in a couple of years time when you have your new baby, you would not imagine life without him/her and you will be very happy!!

Kind regards

LL
 


Suggesting that she speaks with her GP regarding future family planning is responsible advice. It would be irrisponsible for her not to sort out family planning for her future. There is more than one way to prevent pregnancy and condoms would also be advised when having casual sex..

It's not about kicking somebody when they are down so I think you should take your accusation back.
 
I think you'll find that at the 6 weeks post partum check up contraception is always discussed as is the importance of women of taking folic acid. To the OP you seem to have a good grasp of english so it might not help you but might help another, check out community interpretors in your area who might be available to help with any language barriers when dealing with the social welfare/ crisis pregnancy agency.
 


yes if she was 16.duh...we are talking about a 27 yr old.ppl make mistakes,slip up.why is it the female that always has to check for condoms.we dont wear them.you dont hear men saying...did you take your pill.men dont give a crap.
 

i agree with niallers. he doesnt seem to be attacking the woman nor should anyone, hes saying what some of us are thinking.
this has happened, it obviously wasnt planned and it certainly wasnt thought out (she doesnt know his name) so its perfectly fair to remind her about contraception if only for the prevention of disease!!
lets not get too pc here people, the girl doesnt deserve to be pilloried but she does deserve advice and sometimes advice means saying hard things.
 
Rigoletto said:
the girl doesnt deserve to be pilloried but she does deserve advice and sometimes advice means saying hard things.
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I agree that advice sometimes means saying hard things, but in this case, it isn't even helpful advice. The OP is asking for help in her current situation - as in, she is already pregnant. Information about contraception is hardly going to help at this stage, is it? It might be useful to someone who is wondering whether or not to have sex, but is not particularly helpful in this instance.
 

Couldn't agree more, there is a right time for everything and this advise is potentially hurtful at the moment when the women is trying to deal with the implications of a crisis pregnancy( a woman who is not a native, hasn't great english, and away from her home)

So please , stop with the contraception, you mean well but you are not helping. Mummy are you still there? Have you talked to anyone in an agency? Have to gone to your community welfare officer?Have you attended you GP who will refer you to a maternity hospital. You will get extra support from the hospital social services. If it is too difficult to talk as yet because your mind is in turmoil., why not ring the samaritans? You can ring about anything , just to talk and maybe talking to someone who does nothing but listen will help you decide what to do.From anywhere in Ireland you can ring for the price of a local call. Don't be alone, there is no need.Best of luck
http://www.dublinsamaritans.ie/
 


Might not be helpful now but may help prevent a third, forth, fifth or sixth preganacy.
 
Niallers said:
Might not be helpful now but may help prevent a third, forth, fifth or sixth preganacy.
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But the OP posted asking for advice on her current situation, posts suggesting she speak to a GP about family planning are off topic and condescending IMO.
 
truthseeker said:
But the OP posted asking for advice on her current situation, posts suggesting she speak to a GP about family planning are off topic and condescending IMO.
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Totally agree. Threads like this too often stray into issues beyond what the OP wants advice on. IMHO, this puts off others who read offtopic, moralistic replies from asking questions. I suppose that's the nature of websites such as this....
 
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