Mummy, the important thing is to look after yourself and get the help you need to make the right decisions. You have no need to fear the people in SW but if you look up the agencies as recommended, I have no doubt that there will be people available to help you with these problems. Blaming yourself is no good, action is what is needed. You need support, you are not ill, this baby if it happens may be the best thing that ever happened to you. How many of us on this boards were planned or even wanted, but most people get on with things and do their best. So Mummy ,contact the agencies, go to the doctor, keep your head high , and if possible find someone to talk to. Are you a member of a church? Would it be possible to contact some fellow national in whom you could confide, you have lots of possible actions you can take, but pregnancy waits for no one so don't delay. It's very difficult for you at the moment but like all problems, thinking about them without trying to resolve them makes them seem huge.