Separated spouse wants me to pay half their rent

How about pausing the mortgage payments now to help fund the separate accommodation for your spouse. That would give breathing space while the divorce proceeds.

Ultimately consider selling the family home, you living where you job is so you only have one household and your spouse in her new location. The adult children will be away in college, they may need to get loans and jobs etc to fund their college life. Pay off the mortgage, split the assets and move on with your separate lives.

I really sympathise, divorce is hard, but one household will have to split into too somehow. With the house sold, the mortgage paid off will there be enough left to put down payments on new homes? You will probably both need to get a mortgage.
 
Clamball said:
How about pausing the mortgage payments now to help fund the separate accommodation for your spouse.
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I presume you mean requesting a payment break/holiday from the lender and not just unilaterally stopping the mortgage repayments? Certainly nothing should be done here that might jeopardise either or both partners' credit ratings as they may need to borrow again in the near future to secure separate accommodation or for other needs.
 
colin79ie said:
Unfortunately there's emotional stuff going on which is making it harder. I'm being told it's temporary 'space' but others are being told it's permanent.
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You're not there Monday to Friday. Can she move out for the weekends? Can she use the place you use during the week? It seems strange that the family home will now be empty five days a week while all the occupants rent elsewhere.
 
colin79ie said:
I offered to go and couldn't find anywhere, but she got lucky.
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Sounds like you did too.

I don’t know what planet she’s on if she thinks you should bear half the cost of her rent while you simultaneously bear the cost of all the existing expenses to which she has never contributed previously.
 
Salvadore said:
Sounds like you did too.

I don’t know what planet she’s on if she thinks you should bear half the cost of her rent while you simultaneously bear the cost of all the existing expenses to which she has never contributed previously.
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I actually enquired about the place she found but was told it was no longer available. She went after me and got it, and now I'm the bad guy for not finding anywhere, so I can't win.

I was told it was temporary for her to get space. I've since found out that's not what she's telling others, and I'm just in the way now. But, it hasn't worked out for her the way she perhaps envisaged.
All side issues and probably only the beginning...
 
ClubMan said:
I presume you mean requesting a payment break/holiday from the lender and not just unilaterally stopping the mortgage repayments?
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Yes indeed I did mean that, I had meant to edit it in but forgot. I would think the bank would be sympathetic to a pause in mortgage repayments which would allow that money to be diverted to new rental payments.

Unfortunately until the divorce is finalised there are still joint decisions to be made on how incomes should be spent and compromise is needed all around.
 
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