I'm a bridesmaid to my sister, getting married in 3wks, she bought my dress and I dont expect anything else. I'm buying my own shoes as will get a pair i can use after. I'm paying for all make up as a present to her and we'll have our hair done which she's paying for but if i want a trial I'll pay for it myself. Weddings are dear enough without the bridesmaids demanding extra's!!
John Rambo
Registered User
- Messages
- 662
So if there was a hairdresser/make up person coming to your place the morning of the wedding to see you and the bridesmaids, when they'd finished you'd ask the bridesmaids to pay their share?
When I got married I got my hair cut the week before, I styled it myself on the day - after all I know best what way my hair suits me. My bridesmaid did her own hair - as she does everyday and looked as wonderful as she always does. Come on, it's not a beauty padgent - let's hope the fella can recognise the bride through all this tanning, professional makeup, hair do nonsense!
Of course every woman wants to look her best on that day, but up until then has she not got by, had a fella fall in love with her and want to marry her without all that nonsense!!!!
If you are competent at doing your hair and makeup, lucky you! Frankly I'm not, so no way i was going to do them myself. I got married mid-90's, and I know things have changed a lot, but I paid for makeup for bridal party and my mom. Had 2 BMs, I paid for hair for me and CBM - other BM preferred to do her own. I also paid for dresses and shoes for both BMs. Didn't pay for accommodation. When I was BM, we got our dresses, shoes, hair and makeup paid for. None of us stayed over.
Curious: I've noticed a lot of BMs say 'I paid for my own shoes cos I wanted to wear them again'
Does the bride retain ownership of dresses and shoes if she pays for them?
Curious: I've noticed a lot of BMs say 'I paid for my own shoes cos I wanted to wear them again'
Does the bride retain ownership of dresses and shoes if she pays for them?
N
nyc
Guest
This is an interesting thread - I wasn't sure of the etiquette either.
I was bridesmaid for my younger sister 2 years ago, and I and the other two bridesmaids paid for everything ourselves, hair, make-up, dress and shoes.
I was happy to pay for myself as I knew money was tight for her, but felt a little bad about her two friends having to fork out for everything. I thought maybe it was the norm (but it doesn't look that way reading this thread!)
I was bridesmaid for my younger sister 2 years ago, and I and the other two bridesmaids paid for everything ourselves, hair, make-up, dress and shoes.
I was happy to pay for myself as I knew money was tight for her, but felt a little bad about her two friends having to fork out for everything. I thought maybe it was the norm (but it doesn't look that way reading this thread!)
No wonder weddings are costing so much these days, only yesterday I heard 98FM are paying 30k TOWARDS the cost of a wedding!! is that not mad??? we got married in 1999, I had two bridesmaids. We rented the dresses, got shoes covered in the same material as the dresses. I paid for that ie dresses and shoes - after that, the bridesmaids did themselves up in whatever way they wanted re makeup, hair etc, we had a great easy going comfortable day...
Curious: I've noticed a lot of BMs say 'I paid for my own shoes cos I wanted to wear them again'
Of course not. I think some BMs just feel that they would have bought those shoes anyway and therefore think they should pay for them. Mine wanted to pay for hers although I would have.
I was matron of honour at my friends wedding on saturday. she paid for the dress, shoes, hair and make up she. Now i did offer to buy my own shoes and pay for my own hair and make up but she got offended. I went and got my own tan and nails done which nobody should expect the bride to pay for. Its an expensive enough day without adding to it. IF THE BRIDESMAIDS WANT EXTRA TREATS LET THEM PAY FOR THEM
I know a girl who is getting married and her BM (who is a right DIVA) rang to tell my friend she had got her dress and that is was €x. She was told by several people to pay for the dress but make it clear to the BM that this is her present. The BTB had no difficulty with the BM picking the dress but a little manners goes a long way. This particular BM has also told the BTB that she also must pay for a double room at the hotlel (for the BM and the BM's boyfriend). The BTB had no idea that she was under no obligation to pay all of these extras.
I say pay for the dress and shoes. If the BM wants particular upstyles she should also pay but otherwise no furher should be expected.
I say pay for the dress and shoes. If the BM wants particular upstyles she should also pay but otherwise no furher should be expected.
Why didn't the BM just go the whole way and ask the bride to pay for her drink all night?
When we got married recently, we paid for dresses, shoes, hair & make up and accommodation. Think most of that is reasonable as I picked them (with lots of help from the lovely ladies!) except maybe hotel room on the night, I wanted to do that in appreciation of everyone travelling to country location a day before the wedding which resulted in extra cost to them.
Ultimately though the BMs are supposed to be family/close friends who make things easy for you - whatever each bride/groom wants to do is the right thing. It's stressful enough without worrying about "rules". It is a good idea to make sure people understand what you are asking of them as weddings are expensive for guests and some may prefer to opt out of BM "honour" if it will mean additional cost for them when they could just wear an older/borrowed dress and come for the one night.
Ultimately though the BMs are supposed to be family/close friends who make things easy for you - whatever each bride/groom wants to do is the right thing. It's stressful enough without worrying about "rules". It is a good idea to make sure people understand what you are asking of them as weddings are expensive for guests and some may prefer to opt out of BM "honour" if it will mean additional cost for them when they could just wear an older/borrowed dress and come for the one night.
S
sparkle
Guest
Interesting points here. I was bridesmaid at my brother's wedding recently and I and the other bridesmaids( bride's sisters) paid for our own dresses,hair etc. Did my make up myself. We just figured that even if we weren't bridemaids, we would be buying an outfit anyway and shoes and hair done. Admittedly though, I don't ever imagine wearing that dress again! But I do think too much is expected of brides and grooms really.
picaresque
Registered User
- Messages
- 25
I don't think paying for bridesmaids stuff is too much to ask of the bride and groom. I will be paying for bridesmaids dresses and flowergirls. Hopefully the bridesmaids dresses will be ones that they, or I would wear again. It's a casual enough wedding. I'll also apy for hair, make up etc. I appreciate weddings are expensive for everyone involved but if you ask them to take part you should pay.
Just a guess from your username, but was this in the US? I think the custom is different there. When I was a bridesmaid I had to pay for my dress and shoes and look after my own grooming, except that the bride took all the bridesmaids for a manicure.
I was reading recently about some Bridezillas who have asked their bridesmaids to sign contracts promising not to cut their hair or gain weight etc before the wedding ... incredible!
C
cashlolly
Guest
Hi there. I have been a bridesmaid 5 times (yes really) and am finally (!) getting married myself this year. I can tell you.......
For each of the 5 weddings the dress was paid for.
For each of the 5 weddings I got a chain/jewelary as a gift from the bride.
For 2 weddings my make up was paid for
For 3 weddings my hair was paid for.
For 2 weddings my shoes were paid for.
There was no tan courtesy of any bride. Thats ridiculous, as is waxing and trials of any nature in my opinion.
For my own wedding this year I am paying for dress, make-up, hair and a gift. No shoes.
Accomodation should also be covered by the bridesmaids themselves if needed I feel.
Hope this helped.
For each of the 5 weddings the dress was paid for.
For each of the 5 weddings I got a chain/jewelary as a gift from the bride.
For 2 weddings my make up was paid for
For 3 weddings my hair was paid for.
For 2 weddings my shoes were paid for.
There was no tan courtesy of any bride. Thats ridiculous, as is waxing and trials of any nature in my opinion.
For my own wedding this year I am paying for dress, make-up, hair and a gift. No shoes.
Accomodation should also be covered by the bridesmaids themselves if needed I feel.
Hope this helped.
S
Soldier
Guest
when i was bridesmaid we got our hair, makeup, shoes, dresses, accessories. but i've never heard of her paying for the room as well.
John Rambo
Registered User
- Messages
- 662
The paying for rooms bit is an unusual one. My fiance has been a bridesmaid at a few weddings and we've always paid for our room. I've never even thought about it to be honest.
S
Soldier
Guest
to be honest i think its a bit lousy if you let them pay for the room. if you want to stay pay for it yourself if not go home. imagine if you were in their shoes would you pay?