Moneymakeover Married couple - debt and high expenses

[ClubMan]

In line with the previous advice can you take a month of tracking religiously what's going out, and using cash only.

Quite likely this can be done retrospectively rather than having to wait...

Moneymakeover - Household Budgeting Comparisons?

Not sure if the correct place... Life has been in (financial) flux for the last 4 years (house purchased, wedding, new baby, mat leave) but 2025 has brought some stability so I have had a look at our income and expenses. I track both pretty well. We both have decent incomes, don't live...

www.askaboutmoney.com

 

[Khublei]

I'm fairly sure everyone will say pay off the credit card.

I would say no to consolidation unless you are cutting up the credit card and never using it again. Otherwise you just end up with an empty card ready to use again and a loan. Then people generally fill up the card again. I thought from your first post you had already done that - moved the CC to a loan. Your second post makes it seem like you still have a credit card balance.

You say it's all historic spending on the card. For a mental win it would be good to see that go down. I would recommend you pay for things with a debit card for now so you can see the credit card going down, even just a bit each month. And then celebrate every time it goes down a thousand or so.

 

[mathepac]

And then celebrate every time it goes down a thousand or so

With an extra cup of home-made coffee/tea!

Track every cent you are spending for a couple of months, examine the supermarket receipts to look for savings, don't categorise the total as "Groceries". Use every cent you save off your expenditure to pay down the credit-cards; don't wait for month-end, pay it off immediately you realise the saving.

I used to keep Rottweilers, one or two at a time. Its a while ago but your cat/vet insurance is costing more than my dogs used to cost me.

Tot up spend daily and compare it to your budget - you surely have a budget don't you? and track budget vs. actual.

Best of luck

 

[Bronte]

How old are the cats?

 

[angeldelight]

The cats are 4

I will refer the ironing matter to my husband as it’s his clothes that get ironed

 

[DeeKie]

Take one item at a time and do a solo evaluation. You have plenty you just need to restructure. The food bill is a bit high too.

 

[ClubMan]

Income and expenditure
Annual gross income from employment or profession: 35000
Annual gross income of spouse/partner: 95000 + bonus of approx 14k this year

Monthly take-home pay: 7200

This doesn't add up for me. Using the tax calculator below I get gross incomes of €35K + €109K on joint married assessment giving a net of €8,380 p.m.

Budget 2026 – TaxCalc.ie

I think you need to double check your figures and do the aforementioned forensic analysis of your incomings and outgoings.

 

[ClubMan]

Family home value: approx 350k

LPT: 35 [p.m.]

Also doesn't sound right. LPT for a property valued at €350K should be band 3 = €333 p.a. or €28 p.m.

Even if the maximum local authority increase of 15% applies then that's €383 p.a. or €32 p.m.

Valuation bands and rates

This page explains the valuation bands and rates

www.revenue.ie

The odd €7/3 p.m. isn't the issue here, but rather the detail of the finances. If this and the gross/net income figures are inaccurate then what else is also?

 

[misemoi]

The food bill is a bit high too.

I disagree. That seems correct for a family of four ? Esp with two very active kids? The types of meals with lots of filler beans/lentils that could bring a grocery bill down don't tend to appeal to kids. I would.imagine evenings and weekends are full of activities leaving little time to batch cook as well. So in the effort to keep up these great sports, this seems reasonable.

 

[Annieindublin]

The easiest way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

Lots of suggestions here so just get stuck in and see how you get on.

And don’t beat yourself up over where you are. It’s easy in the busy day to day of life to lose track but listing it out and adding it uo is an excellent start.

Keep some fun along with the sackcloth and ashes. Like the kids activities… (although if either of them wanted cheaper activities I’d be keen).

I am amazed at the high cost of cats… we never had pet insurance. Had one large bill over 9 years. I guess we were just lucky.

 

[misemoi]

Op are you both on board with this efforts to tackle the debt ? This is key so one perosn alone is not shouldering all the financial decisions and cut backs. Also def involve the kids in an age appropriate way. This will educate them in maths, budgeting, resource allocation and team work.

 

[Bronte]

When put like that it's so ridiculous... I know with kids activities there can be an ad hoc of 300 in a month, there could also be an ADHD impulse decision like redecorate the living room which I did in January and still have bits left to finish now but you're right, there's a big black hole there so I'll commit to tracking everything and see what's what.

It's really difficult to deal with hard financial facts and advice when we are given a medical issue. To be frank there is a spending issue being blamed on ADHD. But since you brought it up, and since you know you have an issue, than it's the spending issue that you need to tackled since you know that you are an impulsive buyer. In my language that's a shopaholic. Until you address that and go item by item thru your spending, as advised by others on here you are not going to sort yourself out.

Now in addition there are a pair of you. What is your husband like as regards spending?

Cats

Before your two 4 year old cats did you have animals? If yes for how long and did you similarly have them insured?

 

[Bronte]

HUMM

I had to look this up:

We're a retail instalment payment plan facility! In simple terms, we're an easy alternative to paying with cash or credit card for goods offered by our Retail Partners. Humm allows you to spread the cost of your purchase across our partner stores.

What on earth is this? Does it cost money. Is it a vehicle to get money off people by allowing them to buy stuff instantly and make it look affordable by a) spreading out the payments and b) charge interest?

 

[Bronte]

What do we do first?

I think when reading this it's clear to see what the issues are but we just don't seem to be getting anywhere in getting out of the hole.
.... there have been many many bad decisions over the years . I am really keen to get us on a more secure and responsible path, but we do struggle a lot with not "justifying" purchases/spends etc. (I am saying this to be transparent, I know it's an issue!)

OP in order to help you we need you to give us accurate figures.

Income 144000, tax calculator gives me 8400 a month, If I take the 95K pension of 5% that's around 400 monthly so that makes a monthly income of 7900. (very roughly) Not 7200.

OP how much was your family take home pay last year. In addition you receive 280 a month in child allowance, so we are back up to 8200?

Budgeting - you stated your are budgeting, but that's not actually true. You cannot be budgeting if you are living beyoung your means and don't have accurate figures

Mortgage Havan - this is a very reasonable 975 based on your incomes. But is there room for a lower interest rate? I had a look at BofI and it doesn't seem possible to get a better rate.

Bank Loan 110K - who is this with? 605

Credit Card 12K - who is this with 275

Pension Fund - can you find out it's value

Savings 6K so 280 a month, where is this money?

Life Insurance 60 + Income protection 190

The Life insurance is for the mortgage, so compulsory. Income protection is notoriously fiendish to get payouts on. What benefits apply in your respective jobs. Is there a death benefit?

Humm - how much are you paying them? What is it for exactly? Also you said it's part of debt of 1900, but when I subtract mortgage and loan and cc it's 45 to Humm?

Kids expenses: 390 (clothes, activities, hair cuts, books, after-school club) can you break this down item by item, no need for books when there is free libary, kids hair can be cut by you (buy a good scissors) you cannot beat Penneys for clothes...
Insurance: 645 (health, income protection, life, house, pet) 60 + 190 + how much is the health insurance?
Car running: 230 how old is the car?
Utilities: 235 where did you get this figure from?
Date night: 100 (recently-introduced as marriage needed it) not surprised given the stress of the overspending, the level of debt all over the place and the lack of savings
Health expenses: 300 what is this? Is it included in the 645 above?
Personal grooming: 140 what is this?
Cats: 100 this is incorrect it's 85 35 + 25 + 25. In any case is it not already included above in the insurances?
House stuff: 100
Ironing/dry cleaning: 80 Is this necessary?
Subscriptions/broadband/tv: 175 - In Ireland there is free to air?
Phone bill: 65 very high, does your husband or you have a company phone? Who are you with?
Transport: 65 what's this for? I presume you are using the car to ferry the kids around and also for school
Clothes: 150 no clothes until debt is sorted out
LPT: 35

swimming & diving 300 every 10 weeks, gymnastics 300 every 8 weeks, scouts camps and fees - varying amounts ad hoc, kids birthday parties coming up, summer camps, try and keep money aside to do things with kids when they're off school for Easter/summer etc

Can you separately, in one post, clarify how much you are paying for the kids activities, including summer camps etc.

975 + 605 + 275 + 280 + 60 + 190 + 45 Humm + 600 groceries - I cannot actually figure out the expenditure because the figures are impossible to grasp properly

Bonus

Should be used on receipt to pay off the CC debt and the remainder off the bank loan. I suspect it's spent before it arrives though !

It's concerning there is no savings other than the child allowance, so I don't think the 6K should go off the CC, need a really thorough examination of the bad habits, credit card cut up, get back on track, or at least sort it out now.

The good news is you have a great income, only 2 children, your mortgage is very doable.

 

[angeldelight]

examine the supermarket receipts to look for savings, don't categorise the total as "Groceries"

How would you categorise it for analysing it so?

This doesn't add up for me. Using the tax calculator below I get gross incomes of €35K + €109K on joint married assessment giving a net of €8,380 p.m.

I didn't include the bonus in what's available to us on a monthly basis, it's not guaranteed at all and not predictable.

Even if the maximum local authority increase of 15% applies then that's €383 p.a. or €32 p.m.

I checked - you're right, it's 30.50p.m., when I first started tracking budget many years ago it was 33.75 so I rounded up to 35 and just kept that going over the years without looking back...

I'll go back over payslips for the last few months and see what the figure is, I have 7200 written down in budget but maybe I missed something or made a mistake at one point that just got carried over month to month

 

[misemoi]

In our early days of furnishing our first home, we used those BNPL services to buy essential furniture on 0% interest rate. Yes, the overall cost is bundled in there somewhere for all customers as the cash and credit price is the same, but it helped us to get what we needed by spreading payments and meant we could put more cash towards our mortgage ie borrow less. Similarly, we used 0% interest rates on credit cards to buy furniture and a car that we had to replace ahead of when we expected. So they have a place. Obviously the best use of them is if you are diverting what you would otherwise have spent on the lump sum to interest bearing debt, and are religious about paying them off before you reach the end of the 0%.

 

[Premos]

I didn't include the bonus in what's available to us on a monthly basis, it's not guaranteed at all and not predictable.

Even without the bonus, when taking into account the pension contributions, you should be getting around 7700.

 

[ClubMan]

So they have a place.

Yes, but that place is not where someone is racking up debt and possibly spending compulsively.

Buy Now Pay Later - CCPC Consumers

The Competition and Consumer Protection Commission is an independent statutory body that enforces competition and consumer protection law in Ireland

www.ccpc.ie

Cons​

• It may encourage you to impulse buy. Could the goods be bought using savings instead?
• You could be spending money that you don’t currently have or are taking out credit without planning it.
• If you miss a payment you may be charged a late payment fee, which will increase the cost of what you bought.
• If you pay interest you are paying more for the goods than if you bought it outright.
• Missed payments may impact on your credit rating, which can impact on your ability to get loans or other credit in the future.
• If you use the ‘try now, pay later’ option and do not return the goods within the time frame set out in the T&Cs, you may end up paying for goods that you don’t need or want.

 

[Bronte]

I checked - you're right, it's 30.50p.m., when I first started tracking budget many years ago it was 33.75 so I rounded up to 35 and just kept that going over the years without looking back...

If you are serious about this than you need to sit down with your bank statements, credit card statements, your grocery bills, utility bills, and track your spending - no rounding. How about this to start. Look at everything since the 1st January until now. And list everything item by item.

In addition you need a spending diary, each day you write down what you've spent.

 

[Bronte]

So they have a place.

As Clubman said. In addition for people like you they make complete sense because you used them correctly. But they are not designed for people like you. These types of products exist to catch out people. That's how they make their money. A bit like those awful Pay Day Loans.