How much should you give as a wedding present?

Brendan Burgess

Brendan Burgess

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Wedding gifts: How much should you give?

What’s generous, what’s a bit stingy – and when does “thoughtful” tip into “too much”?
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Cash is definitely king these days when it comes to gifting at an Irish wedding. Some 96 per cent of guests here are putting money in an envelope, according to the fourth annual survey by The Aisle by Sara Kennedy, an Instagram account with 70,000 followers aimed at couples planning their big day.

Almost eight in 10 couples will put between €200 and €250 in a wedding card. About one in five couples, however, are making a money gift of €300 or more, says Kennedy. Solo guests are giving between €100 and €150.

Members of the bridal party, like bridesmaids, groomsmen and the couple’s parents are giving even more – with the amount trending upwards from €300 to €400, says Kennedy.
 
If they're close friends and family and I'm going with my partner we'll give 300 and on my own I'd give 200. If not close (although I often just don't go to those ones!), I'd give 250 with partner and 150 solo.
 
I suspect the average at a "country wedding" is €100-150 per head to cover the meal and entertainment plus some.

However, that reminds me of the letter to the problem page of one of the papers last week (Indo I think) where one of the married party (bride I suspect) was bitching because she didn't think she gotten presents from some of her invited guests ("thought" because some of the wedding cards had been open hastily, no doubt with an eye to the financial contents rather than the sentiments, and no note made of contents if any) and made the point that she had been at some of their nuptials subsequently and contributed generously. She was wondering should she confront those she suspected of not having given her a present?

Struck me as a real 1st world problem representative of the Celtic tiger cub generation, some of whom have a huge sense of entitlement and have come to regard everything as transactional (not unlike a certain orange duffon) especially the concept of throwing a big wedding (numbers wise) as some sort of lucrative money spinner!

Needless to say the advice proffered was, on no account should she confront the suspects....
 
Went to one at end of last year. Wife couldn't go. €250 cheque.

Friend of mine who I'd probably meet once or twice a year. Didn't want to underegg it and the venue was high end.

Hadn't been to a wedding in 15 years.
 
Been at a few weddings in recent, 250 for a couple going and 100-150 for a single person attending seems to be the norm
 
I've been invited to a destination wedding and quite like the idea but it will be costly. Would I be expected to give a gift too?
 
Still think an actual gift is better.

We still have several of the gifts we got 22 years ago - including the kettle and toaster used almost daily for 22 years!!! (Dualit)

Fav item was a mish mash of pottery from students in NCAD (class of 2004). Used as much as the toaster and kettle and still not a chip on them.

All have stories and memories. Not something cash can give.
 
Are there any engaged couples today that don't already own a kettle and toaster? People live together for a long time before getting married.
 
I feel the going rate for a couple is has been 200-250 for the past 20 years. And maybe 150 solo.
 
I absolutely hate the saying you have to give X amount to cover the meal. It is the couples choice to have as big or small a wedding they want. Or as expensive a venue or cheaper option. Some just have notions. We ended up with a Covid wedding when you were only allowed 25. We didn’t get one present above €100 per head. We were delighted. They were all immediate family and most fairly well off. They didn’t have to put their hands in their pocket all day. When we go to weddings we give a combined gift. Money and gift.
 
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It's a bit more awkward logistically, but if the couple like wine, a mixed of case of nice wines dropped into them before or after the wedding could be an option. For whatever amount you would gift as cash.
At least when drinking the wine they may think of the sender, for a while at least :)
 
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