Hating the House that I Bought

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FinanceLearner

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Hi all,
I’m looking for some advice because I’m feeling really stuck.

I bought a house recently after a long and stressful search. Despite sanity-checking my decision many times during the purchase process, now that I’m living in it, I realise I dislike a lot about it: the layout, the orientation and lack of natural light, the space, and several features (including the very tight size) I thought I could live with but can’t. There is also far more work needed than was apparent during the inspections. I had no experience buying a house, and I relied on others (e.g. builders) who told me the fixes were small, but they’ve turned out to be big, expensive jobs. Tradespeople are almost impossible to find, and I’ve been going in circles for months. It’s genuinely impacting my daily life and happiness.

The one major positive is the prime location. However, it’s a mature and very quiet area with mostly older people or families. I’m not at that stage of life yet, and I now realise I might have been happier somewhere more vibrant, but also, realistically speaking, nothing suitable came up in those areas. I felt I had to proceed with this one because I was totally worn down by constant bidding wars and worried about losing my mortgage approval due to other factors.

I know I’m fortunate to be able to buy a home on my own, but my job situation is also uncertain at the moment and owning this house means nothing to me. I’m questioning whether pushing myself to stay here is the right decision. I’ve been forcing myself through for a long time, but I’m no longer sure what any of it is for.

I’ve received very mixed advice from others, including:
  • “You’re building equity and can sell later and get a bigger house”
  • “The market might drop with legislation changes coming in March, so if you’re unhappy, sell now”
  • “It costs nothing to put it up for sale and see what offers you get, even in its current condition” (is that true though? Don't I need to pay for valuation and other stuff for the estate agent?)

I know no house is perfect, but I already compromised too much on size, orientation and layout because I thought at least it needed no work. Now I’m looking at roughly €15k of essential work, after already spending €5k on the boiler and trying to do other bits that don't need plumbing or specialised work, by myself.

My main reason for buying was safety and stability, I didn’t want to end up unable to secure a mortgage due to age or other factors, or risk homelessness. However, instead of stability, the house has become a major source of stress and feels like a huge liability rather than security.

Even if I did sell and find something more suitable later, I’d lose my first-time buyer status, which complicates things.

I'm wondering:
  • What my realistic options are if I decide this house isn’t for me?
  • Would renting it out and renting elsewhere myself make sense? (Say to a friend in cash, or officially through RTB)
  • Anything else?!

Any insights or suggestions would be really appreciated.

Thank you.
 
When buying property the three most important things are location, location, location. You seem to have this sorted.

Don't panic. No rush moves. You just seem a bit overwhelmed at the minute. You bought for safety & security, you've achieved that. Well done.

Incidentally, should you decide to sell, you do not need to pay for valuations or estate agents. I've sold my own property before - just stick an ad up on Daft.ie.
 
FinanceLearner said:
Would renting it out and renting elsewhere myself make sense? (Say to a friend in cash, or officially through RTB)
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Financially, that would be difficult apart if your rent was substantially lower than the rent you charged. You would have to pay tax on your income including your mortgage payments (minus expenses and interest). Considering the rental legislation, I would not advise it, even with a friend as financially it could be crippling if anything happens (renter not paying...)
20k in a house is not that much in the grand scheme of things. House maintenance is expensive in general and there are yearly expenses in any house
I am not sure of the impact of the new legislation. Lots of events could impact house prices.
How long are you in the house?
Is there anything you could do without too much expense to improve the way you feel about it in rethinking the way you use the house, the way rooms are organised, even the way furniture are used and placed can have an impact on the flow and space.
 
I think you'll have to stick with it and do your best to adapt it as best you can to suit yourself. I think you need to be strategic and work out what exactly is wrong with each room and then what, if anything, can be done to fix or lessen the problems. Less or smaller furniture makes rooms look bigger, light paint should be used for dark, northfacing rooms (or so my wife tells me at least, I don't know much about these things).

Houses are expensive with repairs, maintenance etc. and 20k is not unreasonable in a second hand house

Keep in mind also that all you've been doing so far is paying interest to the bank, the amount you owe the bank will have barely budged. You may have 'made' money because its value has gone up, but the price of your next house will have gone up as well.

Location is very important and that is something that can't be changed.
 
FinanceLearner said:
“It costs nothing to put it up for sale and see what offers you get, even in its current condition” (is that true though?
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Not quite...
FinanceLearner said:
Don't I need to pay for valuation and other stuff for the estate agent?)
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Not generally for a valuation. If you engage them to sell it and they do so then you'll pay them their fee plus marketing costs. If you engage them and you don't sell then you'll be liable for the marketing costs only which are normally a few hundred euro.

In case it helps...

Estate agent fees in Dublin

Hi I'm selling my primary in Dorset Street, Dublin. It's where I've lived since 2002. It's being sold vacant possession. I've never sold a property before. I need to negotiate with some estate agents in the area. What terms should I look for ? The property is likely to sell for...
www.askaboutmoney.com
 
Hi FinancialLearner,

Welcome to AAM.
FinanceLearner said:
Say to a friend in cash,
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Why would you rent a house you don't like to a friend? Anyway, renting for cash is tax evasion and could get you into more trouble.

When you buy a house, you have to make trade offs. No house is perfect unless money is unlimited. You are now judging this house by the houses you got outbid on. Write down what is good about it. The location. Did you get a bargain? Is it near work? Most people would prefer to live in a better house in a better location. There are plenty of people who would love to be able to afford your house. There are plenty of people condemned to renting for life and will never own a house.



S.E.
 
It will be expensive to move again. There will be the estate agents costs (unless you sell privately as someone else recommended) and the conveyancing solicitor costs and the moving costs. Plus the stress of purchasing a new home, conveyancing costs for that, survey cost, viewings, bidding, mortgage approval etc.

Because of all these added costs people do not tend to move for several years after a house purchase.

I would recommend you evaluate the costs to sell and buy and save that amount before you make the move. Your dilemma is that you have unexpected maintenance costs with the house, job uncertainty, and all of this makes it difficult to save. But not impossible, and given how much you hate the house you should make it a priority.
 
What is the nature of the c. €15K of "essential" work that needs to be done? Is it actually all essential or might any of it be "elective"? Is it structural or cosmetic? Might there be any grants available for this work?


Even with this work being needed could you perhaps avail of the Rent A Room scheme in order to generate up to €14K p.a. tax free income? Apart from the income, if you're the sociable/gregarious type the right guest (a friend perhaps) could help to support you through the difficulties of settling into the new home and getting it shipshape.

Rent a room tax relief scheme

Rent-a-room relief makes it possible to earn tax-free rental income when you rent out a room in your home to private tenants.
www.citizensinformation.ie www.citizensinformation.ie
 
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A few things that make life very difficult can be a bad partner, a crock of a car, sore knees and a lousy house. The easiest fixed is the house although there appears to be some more issues outside of the house. We're well into our seventies and if there's one thing we enjoy is new young people buying houses nearby. They're vibrant, ambitious, young and eventually bring active kids. Don't build a "wall" between you and your neighbours. A smile and a hello go a long way. Kids get involved in sport and "How did the game go?" or "you're a brilliant hurler" sends out a positive message.

I'd do the fixable things first (or as they say in the HSE pick the low lying fruit first). Make the house and garden part of your hobbies. This might just involve clearing out what you don't like in the garden or internal painting. I'd paint the entire inside white or off-white just to start your own stamp on things there. Do the painting yourself and I bet your happiness in owning a house becomes greater. You can tackle the kitchen as soon as you can. I don't expect you to do built-ins yourself, but new presses, cooker, fridge/freezer/washing-machine etc can add to your enjoyment.

I'll give you two worthwhile quotations from Mrs Lep:-
1. Turn your set-backs into come-backs.
2. Get on with the job.

If her advice doesn't work, then you stand to do a killing in profit by selling your house. Think of those who can't get a house.
 
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If you really really don't like it and are considering moving on, think carefully about the work you will do. A boiler is required for your heating and to keep the house habitable but I would really advise caution on anything that won't add value. Eg if you have the time and inclination to tip away at painting and light redecoration then it might be worth it, and unless the soft furnishings like flooring and window dressings are awful I would not replace them. Try to think of things that you can do that will add value if you do sell.

Also do try to give it a chance. I will say I felt like you when we first started viewing houses, the locations seemed so far away from socialising opportunities, quiet at weekends etc, we felt too young to be living in settled places. Chances are you will spend more of your life liking these places than you will enjoy the buzz of the city centre. It can be hard to break into a new community, especially if full of families if you don't have kids, but see how you can get involved in something that is one of your interests or somewhat related, eg sports, or drama, or a book club or whatever. Invite friends to your home now you have complete freedom. Investigate house swapping for holidays. Get a pet if you always wanted one but never could have one renting. When I was younger most of my friends were at the same life stage and age as me, but since moving somewhere further out I have made friends across loads of generations/life experiences and it really adds a richness to life.

And make sure you make the effort to continue your existing social life. Pay for the taxis, spend the time getting to and from your existing haunts. Think of the heartache and money you are saving in other ways, and put that energy into keeping up what you do like. I feel we put up with certain annoyances of living withing striking distance of the city (traffic, living in a smaller house etc) but I try to make sure I do some of the things I can easily enjoy by living where we live.
 
Would you consider getting an architect in to discuss things?

If the location is good, and the shell structurally sound, then any layout changes, daylight, flow could be fixed. We purchased our house in a great location. We kept the external walls and the roof. Everything else we gutted, changed every single room, layout, made new full height windows, added large sliders to the garden, etc. Now that's going to take money but it doesn't all have to be done at once.

Write down what you don't like, talk to a professional (ideally architect, possibly interior designer if they're good) and think about what can be done first.
 
My reading of your post is that you are (understandably) anxious about the house purchase itself, the mortgage payments, your future etc., and feeling overwhelmed.

Your reasons for buying the house were good ones, and they are still good reasons to keep it.

Don't make any hasty decisions just yet; hold off for at least another year & see how things are going.

Repairs, replacements & maintenance are an ongoing part of house ownership and something you adapt to over time; you've got a lot of good advice here already.

I 100% agree w. @ClubMan on getting in one or more sharers. You can earn 14k a year tax free & that money would go a long way towards the improvements you would like to do, and it will be a welcome buffer if work suffers a turn down.
 
DannyBoyD said:
My reading of your post is that you are (understandably) anxious about the house purchase itself, the mortgage payments, your future etc., and feeling overwhelmed.
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On this, it's perfectly natural to feel a bit apprehensive and overwhelmed having taken on the responsibilities of a mortgage and property ownership. And for there to be some element of buyer's remorse when you start seeing all the flaws that may need attention or issues that may not match your idea of the ideal home. But these will often ameliorate over time so don't rush to throw the baby out with the bathwater by selling up so soon after buying.
 
JohnJohnDub said:
I'd much rather have a big house in the country than a tiny house in the city centre.
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I wouldn't, at least not if I worked in the city centre and the commute from the tiny house was an hour shorter each way.
I've lived in small houses and large houses. The same stuff is on TV in both of them, food tastes the same, and you fill both of them with stuff.

All else being equal large is better but your time is more important. I see no point in having a McMansion in the middle of nowhere that you have to leave from at 5.30am to get into work for 9am and don't get home to until 7.30pm after leaving work at 5.
 
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Following through on what @Purple said in the post above. One of my acquaintances built his dream forever house in the far countryside some years ago and moved there. He did not like living in a housing estate and as he put it "wanted to get as far away from people as possible." Only thing was his wife couldn't hack living in an isolated area. He couldn't continue his outdoor pursuits because she refused to stay in the house alone and literally was living in fear. Eventually, they moved back to Cork.
 
It really is personal . I grew up en plein campagne, and it was never for me, despite the relative space and house size that I enjoyed. I found it very isolating as a teen especially. And equally I know folk who would wither where I currently live in a suburb. For the few years it might have been handy for us to have a larger garden and house, there are far more years where it suits us better to have independent older kids/teens and ability to access the many services on our doorstep.
 
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