20 years ago I got a brainwave (I bet some of you think I'm kidding) and my circumstances were that (i) I was skint. (ii) I was overweight (blamed giving up the fags, of course! (iii) Back Garden required much updating. We were at the other end of DB-Pension's dilemma. Ours had grown out of the swings, see-saw etc. Generally, the garden was worn especially for lots of use of the double swings where deep "skid" marks marked the ground in several places where we had placed the movable swings. The garden required work, not design. It was a case of paying for brawn or doing it ourselves.
We had devoured gardening magazines and watched every gardening television programme continuously. We nosed what was happening in other well kept gardens too. The magazines and tv shows shared one thing i.e. fill the place with shrubbery that Tarzan and Jane would have difficulty in locating our back door. Our garden is south facing and our requirements were basic:- (a) Pleasing Appearance (b) Decent sized patio (c) As close to zero maintenance as possible. (d) Garden Furniture that we would use rather than stuff that would lie idle and eventually become an eyesore. We already had the biggest eyesore in the country, our back garden adorned with a cement block shed that could have doubled as a sniper's position on a film about the Somme.
We needed the shed and knocking it would not be too difficult, but it was built on a raft of cement that would have supported the old Central Bank building. We kept the shed but added flowers on one side and on the roof.
We decided that we could kill some birds with one stone i.e. I would do all the work, filling in holes, raising sections that needed to be raised, reducing sections that should be reduced, replacing the roof of the shed (not that easy as the roof was of asbestos). The swings and other unwanted metal were taken away by a guy who kept calling me "Boss." I'm no great mason but when we came up with the idea of design we ploughed on. It was back-breaking using the wheelbarrow to ferry the stone from front gate to back garden and as bad to move unwanted clay from back to the skip at the front. Worst of all was setting a sand foundation for the slabs of the new patio. Remember a patio must be at an angle for rainwater to run off it. Lifting patio slabs was exhausting and "hard labour" took on a more relevant meaning. Labourers are grossly underpaid and if anybody tells you differently, he/she doesn't know what he/she is talking about.
It was not long before I lost most of my excess weight. Every day we worked we could see the garden taking a favourable shape. We thought up ideas to make the place more aesthetic and added steps through the wall, dug out a large area for shrubs (not flowers), put a fence behind the bed to block view of our shed. A rotary clothes line behind the fence replaced our garden length double clothes line. The rotary line worked better than I thought.
However, all went well and a much more aesthetic Leper was born. It was the only time I had a six-pack. Our garden plans have since worked well. There is relatively little work to be done there other than power washing the patio slabs every year. Only thing, our married children want us to buy new swings and see-saw for the entertainment of their children when they visit after the pandemic ends.