Ex-wife wont allow me me to collect possessions from family Home

thelegend

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Good afternoon all

Hopefully someone can give me some advice on this matter.

I am seperated from my Wife, we have 2 children and a mortgage, we split up because we couldnt get on.

I have been the sole earner and provided a 5 bedroom house for ten years, when we split I refused to leave the family home, as i wanted to be close to my children and for financhial reasons, and converted a section of the house (seperate living quarters etc).

But she wasnt having any of this, as she started a relationship with a 3rd party. She went to the guards and made a bogus complaint of domestic violence (this was completely untrue) she was granted an intruim barring order which allowed me to stay at the house.

She then made another bogus claim, this time she alledged it was mental abuse (again completly untrue) so i was arrested, brought to court, relased and was given 15 minutes to collect me personal bellongings from the home. She was granted a barring order so as i could not enter the home.

The barring order is up this month and i wanted to know what is the correct procedure to collect my things. Basicially i had time to collect my clothes and cds and nothing else. All my tools, family er-looms possessions i had gathered before and during the marraige. The house is state of the art, she has everything and i have nothing. after a year staying at my mothers house i have just moved into a one bedroom apartment and cant afford the necessities eg tv , stereo, there are 4 tvs in the family home 5 stereos. my computer, my photos, Can i go in when the order is up? do i inform the local guards, any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

The house is a joint mortgage between me and my ex.
 
im not entitled to legsl aid as i am in full time employment, then paying mortgage and rent plus my car and maintanance, there isnt a whole lot left
 
There is a group that supports single Dads, dunno what its called though.
You need to contact them ASAP!
 
Are you pulling the full mortgage - capital and interest? If so it might be worth approaching the bank explaining the situation and going interest only or getting mortgage break. This will free up some cash and will allow for you to see a solicitor. It is imperative you see one.
 
Get a free appointment /advice with FLAC. [broken link removed]

You can call them and/or call in.
 
the bank wont do it, initially when we split i stopped paying the mortgage for a while, so im paying capital, intrest and arrears when the arrears are paid then they will talk to me, that will be in 2 months
 
thelegend - You need to contact one of the helplines listed above, they will be best advised to help you.
 
Try not to worry too much, everyone feels for you, I just can't even contemplate how awful it is to be seperated from you children. Family law always puts the interest of the child before anything else and you do have rights. Take care and let us know how you get on.
 
i do see my children, my question was about collecting my possessions from the family home and how to go about that
 
The organisation mentioned is probably - contact Rachel O'Toole on 087 151 1204 or 085 123 2548

A


 
Hope this isn't a dumb question, but why are you continuing to pay the full mortgage? Is there a seperation agreement or court ordered maintenance?
 
Support & advice

i do see my children, my question was about collecting my possessions from the family home and how to go about that

I know but you probably need advice, support and someone to answer basic process questions.

It important to proceed in a correct manner (for all concerned).
 
Their is going to be an issue with removing the posessions or even being in agreement as to what should be removed. She might argue that you do not own the posessions that you are taking etc....so I reckon it will be very messy.

I would suggest:
Go back to the court and ask for the return of possesions that
are owned by you, I don't think you need a solictor for that. Put before the judge the items that you want otherwise ask for monies in return of allowing her to keep the posessions.

Once the judge gives a nod on what you can take either:
See if a local guard will call up to the house with you while you collect your posessions.

OR

When she is not their - go in and take what is on that list. You are not tresspassing as you own the house. The contents should be rightfully halved within reason. if you just go in and take what you want - you are not stealing either - so she cannot do you for that. I don't think she will have much of a leg to stand on if she calls the guards as it is a domestic dispute and the items are rightfully both parties and both parties will have to give some sort of reason or proof as to why they own the item if it is dragged to court. For such a small matter, it should really not end up in court. Make sure though that if you do call up to the house that you have someone with you that will stand as a witness - if she wrongfully makes a false claim - tell her you will do her for defamation of character.

If it was me - I would just go in when she was not their and take what I need once it was not effecting the children ! The backside of this is that she might not allow you to see the kids until you give the items back !



Good Luck !
 
I wouldn't be paying the mortgage on a house I didn't have access to without some kind of a court order.

The least she could do is allow you collect your stuff. Seems like she wants all.

If you stopped paying the mortgage she'd be losing more than you would as you aren't living there

If it was me I'd stop paying the mortgage and I'd use the money to pay for a solicitor to look after my interests.
 
Thank you all so much for your advice. I have spoken to a solisitor. He he going to wait till the order has ceased, and then contact her solicitor to arrange a day suitable to both parties to collect my things. Also he will be requesting the local guards to be present for my own safety. I won't be paying mortgage as it has come to my attention she has gained full tome employment and also has her boyfriend living there now .
 
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