Divorce…Negotiating a settlement between us to present to Solicitor … Advice please.

J

Jumbled

Registered User
Messages
36
I will soon serve papers re divorcing my husband.
I work in public sector and have contributed to a very hefty pension contribution in thirty years. I also co own a home with three others.
My husband and I contributed equally to our family home in which I live with my children full time.
They do not spend time with him whatsoever despite much encouragement from both of us.
He has suggested I hold onto my pension and share of the other property I co own in lieu of 50% equity of our family home.
I’m pretty sure the Solicitor and Barrister would push for 70% in my favour.
While he has paid maintenance each week, it was based on the kids being with me 75% of the time. They are now with me full time.He pays e50 per child per weeks for all expenses.
Also, he agreed to split educational and medical costs in our separation agreement but never has.
University is coming up now and I’m nervous about his flakiness .
What would you do here ????

He is self employed and enjoys plenty of sun holidays per year so money not tight , it seems.

Is court ordered maintenance worth pursuing in view of me having to bring him back to court over and over for non payment , if this is indeed the way things will go ????
 
Jumbled said:
I will soon serve papers re divorcing my husband.
I work in public sector and have contributed to a very hefty pension contribution in thirty years. I also co own a home with three others.
My husband and I contributed equally to our family home in which I live with my children full time.
They do not spend time with him whatsoever despite much encouragement from both of us.
He has suggested I hold onto my pension and share of the other property I co own in lieu of 50% equity of our family home.
I’m pretty sure the Solicitor and Barrister would push for 70% in my favour.
While he has paid maintenance each week, it was based on the kids being with me 75% of the time. They are now with me full time.He pays e50 per child per weeks for all expenses.
Also, he agreed to split educational and medical costs in our separation agreement but never has.
University is coming up now and I’m nervous about his flakiness .
What would you do here ????

He is self employed and enjoys plenty of sun holidays per year so money not tight , it seems.

Is court ordered maintenance worth pursuing in view of me having to bring him back to court over and over for non payment , if this is indeed the way things will go ????
Click to expand...
How long have you been living apart?
Is there a mortgage on any of the property?
What is the equity in the family home and the house you co-own?
Does he have a pension?
You say that you live in the family home with "your children" rather than "our children". Is he the father of all of the children?
How many children are in the mix and what age are they?


There's usually a pension equalisation order so assume that he'll get half your pension if it goes to court.

On the face of it, unless he is on a significantly bigger income than you, what he's proposing seems more than fair but the details may change that.
 
To add to Purple's questions - how old is your youngest child?

So far as property settlement goes, the apportionment includes the children's share of the family assets.

Child maintenance is your children's right, but if payment has been erratic & you don't expect it to improve, you may consider an offset arrangement.

Even if you get a court order for maintenance; there's no support system to ensure it gets paid. You have to chase it up everytime.

If you do decide on child maintenance, include everything in the one figure. Having to get additional payments for medical or whatever is a guaranteed tension point.

€50 per week is low, the max awardable in district court is €150 per child per week.
 
DannyBoyD said:
So far as property settlement goes, the apportionment includes the children's share of the family assets.
Click to expand...

DannyBoyD said:
Child maintenance is your children's right, but if payment has been erratic & you don't expect it to improve, you may consider an offset arrangement.

Even if you get a court order for maintenance; there's no support system to ensure it gets paid. You have to chase it up everytime.

If you do decide on child maintenance, include everything in the one figure. Having to get additional payments for medical or whatever is a guaranteed tension point.
Click to expand...
The problem with that is the cost can fluctuate and one party could be left on the wrong side of it.
The down side of a an agreement to split everything 50:50 is the stress of compiling the costs and then arguing about it.
There's no good solution.
DannyBoyD said:
€50 per week is low, the max awardable in district court is €150 per child per week.
Click to expand...
That does depend on the number of children, parental incomes, rent, mortgage payments etc.
 
Purple said:
On the face of it, unless he is on a significantly bigger income than you, what he's proposing seems more than fair but the details may change that.
Click to expand...

Agree with this. If you have assets and a pension fund and he doesn't, then he will probably do well out of the divorce.

But your solicitor would know the full details of this and you should rely on their advice. No harm in getting a second opinion, but I wonder if that second opinion should come from another solicitor rather than from us where we know very little about your circumstances.

Brendan
 
Thank you.
To answer your questions…
We were married for 12 years.
He has no pension of his own.
He is self employed in recent years.
Registered recently.
Children are 18,15,13. We co own home. Six years left on mortgage.
Children are joint.
They reside with me full time.
Two have additional needs.
Initial maintenance figure based on children spending time with him.
No half medical, dental or education fees paid by him as agreed originally.
Please advise and thank you.
 
Also, his income is roughly the same as mine.
He is anxious to sell the house quickly or for me to buy him out asap as he is renting and would like to buy. I have submitted my affidavit of means.
The childrens total expenses are e700 per week over the course of a year. This includes absolutely everything needed to raise them single handedly.
Therefore his contribution is 20% of their expenses.
 
Registered recently
registered what?

Youngest child is 13, so they have right of residence for likely the next 10 years.

As you were married the property is the Family Home anyway. You have significant equity at this point.

Depending on the level/needs of the two who have additional needs, the need to pay child maintenance might continue beyond 23 if they may not be able to live independently / earn a living.

Child maintenance is not based on the child's expenses; it is based on the income and outgoings of each parent. So redo those figures. Again, I'd advise including everything in the one figure (for maintenance I mean); swings and roundabouts.
 
Last edited:
As far as I was aware ,maintenance is based on the childrens financial needs. Is this not right???
 
Had he been and is he still paying 50% of the mortgage? Are you in a position to remortgage in your sole name and in a position to give him money without selling the home?
I suppose while you have right of residence with the children perhaps you’d like to sort out the house now rather than kicking down the can a few years
 
On that basis,
If we each earn e1750 k gross per week , how much on average should he be paying based on our circumstances ?
I’m not convinced that he is declaring all income.
 
He is still paying his half of mortgage yes.
I could afford to buy him out if was guaranteed maintenance form him but I don’t trust him to pay it.
I believe that it is down to me and my costs to pursue a non paying parent through the court of they break court ordered maintenance.
Is this actually true????
 
Jumbled said:
Also, his income is roughly the same as mine.
He is anxious to sell the house quickly or for me to buy him out asap as he is renting and would like to buy. I have submitted my affidavit of means.
The childrens total expenses are e700 per week over the course of a year. This includes absolutely everything needed to raise them single handedly.
Therefore his contribution is 20% of their expenses.
Click to expand...

What is the mortgage repayment and what is he paying in rent?
 
I suggested recently that he sort his returns etc as they would be needed by his solicitor for affidavit
Of means etc. he went bananas so that’s not going to happen.
He has no shortage of cash but I’m not convinced that it will all be declared .
He says he won’t be engaging a solicitor as he can’t afford it despite being booked solid for work until mid summer.
 
This difficulty is if he’s self employed - you can’t ask the court to order it to be deducted from his wages. So yes it would be… but you can represent yourself so theoretically a day off and no cost.
 
Presume he is currently paying €150 per week for the 3 kids? Why do you think he would stop paying?
 
He is not punctual with payments.
He has not paid agreed medical, dental or education fees in four years, as agreed.
He is generally tight and mean with money and lacks integrity and
Conscience when it comes to his children .
He spends plenty on designer clothes, holidays , Socialising etc for himself .
Basically, he has form.
And he is not to be trusted in any area.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top