Co-habiting, mortgage in my name, break up, need help..

C

cowgirl

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I've been living with my boyfriend for 3 years. Two years ago I used my mortgage to purchase a house and I put down a deposit of 150k. My partner is self employed and had no ability to get a mortgage. The house is solely in my name. We have been sharing the mortgage payments and bills 50:50. I recently discovered that he cheated on me but he refuses to leave the house. The rows are awful and he is becoming verbally and physically abusive towards me. How can I make him leave. He says he can stay under common law. Please help me, I'm actually getting really scared.
 
If you cannot speak to him then I suggest you say nothing about seperating for now. Then you need to go and get advice from a solicitor. He has made some mortgage payments so may have acquired some equity in the house which you will have to pay him back.

In relation to the physical violence you may need to go down the route of a barring order which you can discuss with the solicitor. If he physically abuses you again I would call the gardai immediately, you should not let this get out of hand and you should not accept it. Whatever the rights and wrongs of it, you need to be strong and this is difficult when you are emotionally involved. Do you have someone to talk to, a family member perhaps.

Please be careful about not letting him know you are going to a solicitor.
 
first of all, sorry about the situation you find yourself in, especially the verbal and physical abuse is very difficult to cope with ...
as bronte already suggested, get in touch with a decent solicitor - shop around and get someone recommended ... what you can also do is to call a support group for abused women, i'm sure they can recommend a good solicitor who is skilled in this area ...
report the abuse to the gardai, don't accept it and don't suffer in silence ...
fingers crossed
 
Dear Cowgirl,
please gather all of your paperwork, and as much of his as you can find, and make copies of everything - you will need them later. All bank and any other account numbers you can source - just file them, they may come in handy. I was in a similar situation when I was married a few years ago, and discoverd that my then husband had a secret bank account in NI, using a relative's address and his girlfriend posed as 'me' to joint-sign for a £16,000 loan.I had these details to forward to the tax office as I did not want to be liable for any debts he may have accrued while married as I was afraid I might have been liable for the payments. Keep every receipt for any purchases you have made for the house, furniture, repairs etc and keep them in your desk in work or somewhere he cannot access. With regards to the physical and mental violence, again write everything down, take photos if you need to ( hopefully not) - there is nothing to be ashamed of in telling a close friend or relative that you feel under threat - you may find as I did that people who care about you are already keeping an eye on you - he doesn't want to be inconvenienced by leaving the property and is trying to break you into going first - ask someone to move in with you if you can,and keep that diary - chin up, he will be out of your life soon but it won't be easy.... TessaW
 
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Personally Id change the locks next time he is out and let him have a solicitor contact me - however, thats just me.

I think you need to contact the guards and explain you are living in fear - they may encourage you to get a protection order against him, which if broken means you can follow up with a barring order.

Contact a solicitor regarding the house. Would it be an option for you to put the house up for sale - if its solely in your name then you could do that and he would have no choice but to leave when its sold? You could sort out equity issues with solicitors afterwards.
 
He cannot stay, he's effectively a "tenant" and you can get rid. He will be entitled to what he has contributed towards the mortgage if he can prove this and half of any purchases for the house. As for bills, he's out of pocket there.
 
Do you need to pay him back ... could the 50% not be classed as rent?..If not, then surely you would have to pay back the 50% less an estimated allowance for rent?
 
hi cowgirl sorry to hear ur in such a horrible possition . i would think that the mortgage and deeds are in your name so the house is yours . if something happened and you werent able to pay the mortgage he would be able to walk away scott free so i dont see how he should be able to gain from it without any possible loss . i would be straight to the solitior for legal advice and i wouldnt change the locks . if he is abusive the last thing that you need is him on your doorstep . best of luck .
 
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