Children being invited to weddings

Brianne said:
but now they have them , we're all supposed to love their children and usually put up their obnoxious behaviour.
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It's not clear from my post, I do agree with you. I think a couple have every right to invite who they want to a wedding. In the same way, the invitee's can chose whether to attend or not.

I believe I handled the withdrawal of my children's invite in a dignified manner - "I'm not sure I would be comfortable leaving the girls alone for that length of time in a strange country....and I certainly don't want [my children] babysitting [the other children].......but you enjoy you're day, we'll be thinking of you" We are good friends, it wasn't a problem.

I think the people who strop and make a fuss tell us a bit about their children...and goes a little ways to explaining why they weren't invited to the wedding!
 
Why would someone want to bring children to a wedding. A wedding is a social occassion where you let your hair down, have a few drinks and so on....who in their right mind would seriously enjoy a day where they have to mind their kids, entretain them, keep them quiet during speeches (its hard enough to keep the adults quiet!) and so on and then to top it off have to get up at the crack of dawnwith tem when they wake up in the hotel room and you have a hangover?????? No thank you...if you wnat to spend time with your kids you do so in the proper enviroment not at a wedding
 
If they were real friends they would understand fully why the children were not invited.
Does the bride and groom really need this hassle?
If people don't want to comply with the couples wishes so be it.
I am sure that the wedding will be a great success anyway without the whingers
 

I can't imagine bringing my boy to a wedding having to wake up with a monstrocoius hang over.
 
A sister of mine who has shown no interest in her grandniece since she was born was making arrangements for her own daughters wedding. We heard on the grapevine that she was considering having some "flower girls" at her daughters wedding and was wondering would her grandniece be suitable.
Christmas was coming and out of the blue there were lots of enquiries from her about her grandniece and wishing to see her over the Christmas. Presumably for inspection purposes. Needless to say that her previously ignored grandniece wasn't available for inspection.
 
Lex Foutish said:
Fair point, S.L.F., but what if the wedding wasn't in Cork?
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Then not only would I have a good time but I wouldn't have such a bad hang-over due to the bad Cork beer.

I mean I drank enough of it so I should know.

Right, am I right, Right...
 
S.L.F said:
Then not only would I have a good time but I wouldn't have such a bad hang-over due to the bad Cork beer.

I mean I drank enough of it so I should know.

Right, am I right, Right...
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You the Maaaaaannnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
This attitude of not going or kicking up a fuss because your children weren't invited is ridiculous - it's what I'd expect from my sister in law. One of her children is the last one I'd want there - he's a nightmare.

It seems to be the parents whose children are little terrors that have this attitude - maybe they have been blacklisted by all their local babysitters, so have no choice?

The last few weddings I was at, there weren't any children, despite siblings on both sides having children and the siblings being very close.
 
Thanks for all the replies. Glad to see I'm not in the minority.

I really can't understand how people with young children can't appreciate the extra expense it would put the bride and groom to if they had to invite all their friends' children to their wedding, not to mention the bedlam that would ensue at the service with babies' crying, toddlers running around and older kids getting bored and starting to talk and fidget and wanting to go outside.

I also agree with the point made that parents who carry on like this are likely to have badly behaved, spoilt kids who have been lead to believe they are the centre of the Universe. Another reason not to invite them!
 
jaybird said:
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I would however be a little miffed if we/they were invited and then disinvited, as I think thats pretty rude to do to anyone, adult or child, but I wouldn't say anything about it.
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I must admit, that was hard to swallow. Here we were, a few weeks from booking our flights and the bride called and ever so casually dropped it into the conversation. She adores my children but I think she was perhaps a bit unthinking. On one visit she announced "presents" and then handed Mr Bubbly and I a pressie each before announcing that was it, she had no room in her luggage for kids pressies so she didn't bring them anything.

Oppps.

Back to the wedding, she didn't call the other family, I unwittingly mentioned it some weeks later (thinking they'd already know). The mum took umbridge, declared she wasn't going if they weren't going and since we weren't going she wouldn't have a baby sitter anyway!
 
I remember going to a wedding (evening reception only) of a work colleague some years ago. She and hubby didn't have a lot of money and both had large families, so they made the decision that no children were being invited, and the meal was limited to family only in a restaurant. There were ructions, tears, tantrums (from the adults!) but the couple stuck to their guns. The evening reception was in a pub function room, so there wasn't a lot of space.....and even less when the children were brought along anyway.....the annoyed parents just decided to bring their little darlings irrespective of the wishes of the couple. I remember the bride being extremely upset on what should have been her happiest day.

Me? I agree with all, if the couple don't want children at the wedding, it's their call and if an invitee takes umbrage, then they aren't worth inviting!
 
I may be selfish here but we as a family where invited to my sister's wedding along with my siblings children all under the 10 year age,I kindly said thanks sis but no thanks only the wife and myself will be going.The thoughts of them running riot with the other children would drive my blood pressure to heart attack stage. You may say bad parenting to let children run riot but I am still waiting to go to a wedding with children and not see sheer madness drinks knocked over,crying,shouting for no real good reason etc.I love weddings especially other people's wedding's and not having the worry of what and where my children are. I think if this woman does not go to the wedding it will seem like a wedding present to the Bride and Groom in itself.I think they only invited her because they had to sort of thing. She does not sound nice and will moan at something else at the wedding so please encourage her that she is in her rights not to go and that everyone at AAM agree with her.
 
No way , No children at weddings, Torture.

Anyway, people generally drink alot at wedding so even more so for not having them there. Teenagers perhaps but no kids under 13.

I think your friend is away in cloud cuckoo land to want kids there.
 
I agree that your colleague is being rude and unreasonable and I hope that the couple getting married do not change what they have decided re children at the wedding. It is their day after all. I saw this recently with a colleague who was getting married and she too was put under pressure from relatives to be allowed to bring their small child even though she had made it quite clear that they were not inviting children. She was very stressed about the situation but I believe that she stood firm. I cannot understand how someone thinks it is in any way acceptable to threaten not to attend a wedding unless their children are invited. With friends like these who needs enemies??
 


I am getting married in six weeks and the only children who are ok to attend are my seven months old nephew who will be travelling with his parents for over 3000 miles and a friend's four months old girl. A babysitter is organised for the two of them and as they are both breast feeding babies, their mums will be able to feed them and check on them without us having them at the actual wedding.

My husband to be's family suggested that we invite his nephews and nieces and I was very firm in telling them NO. First of all, we are not very child friendly to start with, secondly, we'd end up with more children than adults and to top it all off, it would take more logistics and planning to keep all those kids entertained and in check.

As a bride I can honestly say that if any invited guest went in a strop over their children not being invited and threatened not to turn up, I'd tell them that they don't have to. It's our day and we'll have it which ever way we want and the genuine friends who want to share this special occassion with us will be there no matter what.
 
For last 10 years I attend 70-80 weddings a year through work with entertainment (music/DJ). Maybe 1-2 a year through attending as guest.

The best weddings are where several kids attend and are ruly and have parents that look out for them. Ive come to the conclusion that the reason is because its family based and the whole sharing with family thing. however the worst weddings are where kids are running around bored and the parents arent looking out for them. If you have guest who are these types of parents then you cannot bring their kids, and if you cant invite their kids, you cant invite any kids.

The best wedding I attended was foreign. A couple of us stayed outside of the church and played with the kids and at the hotel, the kids ate nuggets and chips first. Then while adults ate, a clown was hired for 2 hours to entertain the kids. more entertainment for kids was put on later. half the attendees would not have been there without this.

which brings to next point, if you're getting married and several guests have children, bear in mind that baby sitters will be needed, not just for the day but also the day after. If youre getting married during school term and its a week day, sending an invite to the wedding where guests have to travel and stating "no kids" is taking the absolute p*ss in my opinion. (Ive received 2 this year).
 
Did anyone watch "Brides by Franc" on RTE on Sunday night? The couple getting married had 4 children and wanted a "child friendly" wedding. The best thing they did, I think, was to send all the kids off on a bus to a funfair while the dinner was going on. The cost of this wasn't discussed though but it would be interesting to know if the couple paid or if the parents all chipped in.
I can't understand why someone would want to bring a child to a wedding except if they couldn't afford or organise a childminder. Slightly separate note, but I hate when I am talking to a parent and they have one eye on the child and the flow of conversation in constantly interupted.
 
We had a bout 30 kids of all ages at our wedding.

We had a ps3 + xbox 360 set up in one conrer of the room and baby sitters for the younger ones.

A wedding is a family celebration for us and we wanted all our family there.

Come 1.30 in the morning the floor was full with guests from 3 to 73 and thats the way we wanted it. But it is a personal choice and people should just respect the couple and how they want their day.
 
DeeFox said:
Slightly separate note, but I hate when I am talking to a parent and they have one eye on the child and the flow of conversation in constantly interupted.
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Jeeze, parents can't win! Keep an eye on your child, you're not giving your undivided attention to a friend- don't keep an eye on your child, you're a bad parent!

Ultimately invitations are at the absolute discretion of the bride and groom. So whatever they decide is up to them.

Personally I like children at weddings; we invited lots to ours. They had a ball on the dancefloor and it was gas to see all children from loads of different nationalities communicate through play.

Each to their own though. It doesnt bother me either way if I am invited with or without children.
 
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