Bullying in school

Some of the posters have been saying martial arts might be an answer or self defense to boost self confidence.
One of the mis-conceptions people have about bullys is they think of the thug in the corner of the schoolyard.
This is not a wise, a school yard bully can also be female and they can be far worst.
Being beaten up is straightforward to deal deal with, there are bruises thus evidence so you can call the gards but when someone starts to play mind games with you, or indeed gets others involved it is a very different type of attack. If a female bully targets a male what is he supposed to do, beat her up. If he does that then the gards would be called for him.
A thug would break a few bones but a female bully could break your mind.
 
S.L.F said:
Some of the posters have been saying martial arts might be an answer or self defense to boost self confidence.
One of the mis-conceptions people have about bullys is they think of the thug in the corner of the schoolyard.
This is not a wise, a school yard bully can also be female and they can be far worst.
Being beaten up is straightforward to deal deal with, there are bruises thus evidence so you can call the gards but when someone starts to play mind games with you, or indeed gets others involved it is a very different type of attack. If a female bully targets a male what is he supposed to do, beat her up. If he does that then the gards would be called for him.
A thug would break a few bones but a female bully could break your mind.
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Good points but don't assume that a male will not use psychological bullying as well.
I read this thread when it started but didn't post. I was bullied through primary school (starting in third class when a teacher beat the living daylights out of me and left me crying on the floor) and didn't finish 'till late secondary school when I took up karate, bulked up a bit and sorted things out myself. The guy who bullied me lived close by so it continued in and out of school so I got isolated, physically bullied and had things including human faeces put into my school bag and then I had the same sort of thing when I got home (and went outside).
It all came to a head when I was 15. He started hitting me one day and I hit back. He spend two weeks in hospital and needed loads of new teeth, his jaw wired up and the cheek reconstructed. It would have been better if I had stood up to him years earlier and such a confrontation avoided but 20 years later I can honestly say that I don't regret a moment of it.
 
It's great when a bully gets his or her just deserts.
Unfortunately the targets of bullies let these things go on for years before they unleash holy hell on their oppressors then every one says they over react.
In your case the bully, who got his just deserts, could have gone to the gards and said you over reacted then you would have been sent to a young offenders home.
 
S.L.F said:
It's great when a bully gets his or her just deserts.
Unfortunately the targets of bullies let these things go on for years before they unleash holy hell on their oppressors then every one says they over react.
In your case the bully, who got his just deserts, could have gone to the gards and said you over reacted then you would have been sent to a young offenders home.
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Truw, and I worried about it for weeks after but he never said a word about who did it.
 
Hi All
I thought this thread was dead and noticed today that it was revived... thought I'd give you all an up-date...
Things went well for a couple of weeks for my son but just before the summer holidays he was attacked by the boy and was bruised and beaten,not too bad but enough is enough.. we went crazy and were so annoyed we took him out of the school..we reported it to the guards and they were willing to go to the boy and put him on a caution, but they also knew the family and agreed with us that there could be problems, so we settled for them to put a notice on their computer system..and if any more was to happen that they could take action then..( This family are crazy and live in our area so anything could happen)
Anyway then we were faced with the problem of no school places available in other local schools for our son..but we had till September to sort it.. We decided to call the education welfare dept to speak to an officer, if only to inform them that we would home school our son if we could not get a place for him in another school... I rang several times and there was never anyone to take our call, By the third or fourth call I got so annoyed that I told the secretary the full story, hoping to hear soon from them...to this day a welfare officer has not returned my call...
As it happened by a twist of fate, and at the end of August, a week before school started back we had a call from another local school that had just got notice that they were to receive another teacher so they were making up a new class...result..we got a place for our son, Thank god..
Its now almost the end of his final school term in the new school and He's a changed boy,back to his old self, full of confidence, Happy, doing really well and is really popular in his year and has many new friends...The school has zero tolerance for any bullying or agressive behaviour..
I accept there are general guidelines for anti-bullying in schools, but these are guidelines and it's up to the school in the way they implement these guidelines...some do it better than others, and I believe there is more support from the department for pupils that cause problems because they are a challenge and are future statistics when it comes to results and figures....I bet the Bully and his family would have heard from an education welfare officer well before we would...(were still waiting for a call)
S.L.F.
Thank you for the link to '' Through the looking glass'' it is an excellent site..
Purple
It's a shame that you had many years of torture from your Bully. I'm so sorry for you,, I feel like breaking the jaws of the Brat that beat my son .. but I think if I started I would not stop. But I do try to resolve issues in a calmer fashion. and try to keep the kids in the frame of mind that violence is not the answer either..
Anyway sorry all for going on and making this post so long, could not but give you all the up-date and to thank you all for your input and advice and all the p.m's of support that I received..
Many Thanks
Best Wishes to all
Super Mam and Happy Son..xx
 
super mam said:
Its now almost the end of his final school term in the new school and He's a changed boy,back to his old self, full of confidence, Happy, doing really well and is really popular in his year and has many new friends...The school has zero tolerance for any bullying or agressive behaviour..
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That's brilliant! Thanks for the update: always good to hear how things trun out.

However, somewhat depressing too, in the amount of effort you had to go through, and the lack of support available to you.
 
Hi Super Mam,
Bully free year is another site you could look at.
I haven't worked out how to put links into posts yet.

One of the things Bullies rely on is that their targets almost never hit back...............and when they do its always overkill.

I believe Purple has given you the best solution.

Enroll your son into a boxing club.
 
I am a teacher and in my experience the best way to deal with this is by writing directly to the board of management outline the incidents that have taken place, dates, times etc srtess how it is effecting your sons life and explain if no action is taken you will have to take legal advice. Every time an incident occurs write to the principal and the board of goveners. In my experience this is the only way you will get results
 
Watched a program on primetime last night about this subject. As a parent myself I was annoyed to see that as usual there was no help for the victims of bullying. Kids afraid to go to school, kids having to move school yet the bully remained in the school and probably just moved onto the next victim. What is happening to our society where the criminals and the bullies have all the rights and the victims are left to suffer alone. Why should parents whose kids are bullied have to move their kids from school. Remove the bully and let theirs parents take on the task of finding new schools. God it maddens me when all the resources are put into protecting the rights of the wrongdoer and the victim does not even get a second thought.
 
There was a lady on the radio yesterday who said that the bullying her son was enduring stopped when she had a solicitors letter sent to the parents. Don't know if it would have worked in supermam's case but it's another option that would probably work with some bullies (and their parents). It's a disgrace that it's allowed to continue in schools. Legal action is the only thing.
 
TurningGreen said:
Watched a program on primetime last night about this subject. As a parent myself I was annoyed to see that as usual there was no help for the victims of bullying. Kids afraid to go to school, kids having to move school yet the bully remained in the school and probably just moved onto the next victim. What is happening to our society where the criminals and the bullies have all the rights and the victims are left to suffer alone. Why should parents whose kids are bullied have to move their kids from school. Remove the bully and let theirs parents take on the task of finding new schools. God it maddens me when all the resources are put into protecting the rights of the wrongdoer and the victim does not even get a second thought.
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+1
I agree with you 100%. I saw the program and was absolutely horrified with the level of violence. Apparently it goes on in alot of the schools in this country. Its one thing to have an anti-bullying policy in schools, which is not being inforced by the schools, due to fear of family of bullies imo by school principals,boards and management. The board of education should pass a law stating that those bullies should be immediately expelled, and leave it in the hands of the bully parents to disipline their bully and 'try' to find a school that will take in bullies, as if.
I'm glad Supermom and son resolved the matter at a very painful cost to them both. Best of luck to ye both.
 
I would imagine that a big part of the underlying cause of the problems in enforcing anti-bullying policies is that it is often very difficult to get to the truth of who is at fault. Situations are rarely as black and white as some posters would imply. How do expect a school principal to make a judgement about expelling a child based on hearsay evidence?
 
Complainer said:
I would imagine that a big part of the underlying cause of the problems in enforcing anti-bullying policies is that it is often very difficult to get to the truth of who is at fault. Situations are rarely as black and white as some posters would imply. How do expect a school principal to make a judgement about expelling a child based on hearsay evidence?
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Very true.
 
Protocol said:
CCTV cameras in every classroom, hall and schoolyard??
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I'm not sure this would be effective. The bullying would just move to the bus stop or the sweet shop or the football pitch.

Mind you, I did hear of a case in a Dublin CBS where the principal went back and reviewed CCTV tapes from the yard to verify a claim of bullying recently.
 
Protocol said:
CCTV cameras in every classroom, hall and schoolyard??
Click to expand...

This wouldn't deal with the problem of cyber bullying, which seems to be the main form of bullying nowadays. Because the perpetrators can hide annonymously behind texts and websites they can make the most damaging and hurtful remarks and it can be very difficult to prove it was them.

I heard of one case in a Dublin school where the girls doing the bullying were stupid enough to let their names show up on the texts. When the girls and their parents were called in to the school, one prat of a father, (who was a lawyer) instead of being horrified at what his daughter had done, started into 'you have no evidence' 'how can you prove my daughter's phone wasn't stolen to send those messages' etc. When the principal pointed out that his daughter's phone would have to have been stolen 20 times he continued his 'legal defence' of his obnoxious daughter. Needless to say, the bullying continued. This is a huge part of the problem, stupid parents going straight into defensive mode instead of dealing with the issue.
 
A really worthwhile discussion here, what I would take from it is the best way to deal with your child being bullied is to create a detailed log of specific instances and send this to the board of management and principal as it happens. If you do this from the outset then I think you have a good base to work from as most schools have a written policy on bullying and your solicitor can work from this also if and when, you feel the situation has become out of control. I really feel for those kids who struggle everyday to live a happy and what would be normal life besides bullying, Bless them.
 
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