Leaving job after 5 years and MD not happy

Ok Headachecity - let me put it to you this way......... what would give you the most satisfaction at this stage ie......
- humiliating him - like a dressing down in public (lowering yourself to his 'standard')
- leaving the place now, do nothing else & having him to deal with it (you'll have to learn to let go of your gripe in time)
- take the harrassment route (a formal way of showing that behaviour such as that is not tolerable)

.... you have options here
 
I don't want to lower myself to his standards but I pretty much know what I am going to do. Had a good think about it.
I am going on holidays tomorrow and won't be back. When we get back next week I am going to the GP for a sick cert stating stress related to work. I am actually clearing my desk on the sly at the moment and doing a cheque run and did the wages in advance and forwarded the date on BOL to cover the rest of them in here for a month anyway.
Tidied up the whole place, there is a document on the server on how to do my job that I did when I went on maternity leave so he can have that.
I have had enough, all day now ignoring me and this slamming crap can't take it!.
Thanks for everything and please don't think I am stupid or a walk over, far from it, it's just him, his manner and attitude that I cannot cope with.
 
I can't believe that you are interviewing and ultimately hiring your replacement.....would be nice to leave him with a complete air-head who hasn't got a clue!
 
Now now dear, do you really think I am going to hire the best person. I intend on hiring a complete air head who doesn't know a debit from a credit and see how he likes that!. Then again, that's mean but I will make sure the person is a bit of a bowsy aswell and can give it right back to him!
 
ACA said:
You go girl!
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Oh I certainly will, just interviewed someone that I think was either really nervous nomatter how much I tried to calm them or else the person was on helium or something!. I could hire that person, then again I think the candidate in question would have a panic attack if he goes on a rant!:eek:

Looks like the haven't got a clue person is getting a job offer in the morning!!!:D .
 
Headachecity, please stand up to him! Even send everyone a collective email him included stating your real reasons for leaving. See how he likes that. I dont think you are a walk over but I hate to see people get away with such like that. Bullys annoy the s**t outta me.
 
2 sides to every story, I would like to hear here side of the story, you said you took 19 days of for parental leave, where you paid for this ? so with these 19 days plus your due holidays around 4-5 weeks, so maybe 2 months off not bad ,same as a primary school teacher nearly, If it was that bad you would not have stayed 5 year's or would you.
 
dodo said:
you took 19 days of for parental leave, where you paid for this ?
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Parental leave is not paid. It is a right that every parent can take off (unpaid), so many weeks before each child reaches a certain age.
 
I've removed several off topic bickering posts so can people please keep things on topic.
 
You can't justify bad/unprofessional behaviour like this. If the employer wasn't happy they wouldn't have keep the employee on for 5 yrs.
 
Bob the slob said:
Headachecity, please stand up to him! Even send everyone a collective email him included stating your real reasons for leaving. See how he likes that. I dont think you are a walk over but I hate to see people get away with such like that. Bullys annoy the s**t outta me.
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Sending a "collective email" could leave you open to all sorts of grief, the short term satisfaction could wear off very quickly. This pillock certainly doesn't deserve any loyalty from you whatsoever. I wonder why you feel the need to choose anyone to replace you in your position. This guy doesn't deserve that much looking after.

If you leave and say nothing, you may well feel frustrated in years to come that you walked away without saying something to cause a bit of change. Perhaps you might consider saying politely to your about to be ex-employer something like "I haven't been able to find a suitable replacement, as I feel that this is a hostile work environment. You may not realise it but when you say things like - ... - an employee feels undermined/undervalued/insulted or whatever. I'm sure you don't mean to make people feel this way intentionally, but I believe that is what is happening. And if you are unable to improve your relations with certain staff, people will be made unhappy. Could you tell me why I should encourage someone to subject themselves to this? Especially when you have guaranteed me no reference?"

Sorry to be so long winded. You're at a difficult stage with work and children (voice of experience) and I feel for you big time. You could walk away and say nothing, but in the long term I think it would be good for you to politely point out a few things in a way that shows you are not saying them for personal gain. If you leave without saying anything at all, you may always be kicking yourself. Good luck anyhow, no human being should be treated like this because their boss is an a/hole.
 
Do you have a health and Safety officer in the office? I recently took on this role and looked up the legislation in relation to it. i've printed off an article on 'Dignity in the workplace' and would be inclined to use this if i felt a another employee was having difficulties. Perhaps your Health and Safety officer could leave a copy of it on his desk. might make him a little more aware of his responsibilities.
 
Headachecity said:
I don't want to lower myself to his standards but I pretty much know what I am going to do. Had a good think about it.
I am going on holidays tomorrow and won't be back. When we get back next week I am going to the GP for a sick cert stating stress related to work. I am actually clearing my desk on the sly at the moment and doing a cheque run and did the wages in advance and forwarded the date on BOL to cover the rest of them in here for a month anyway.
Tidied up the whole place, there is a document on the server on how to do my job that I did when I went on maternity leave so he can have that.
I have had enough, all day now ignoring me and this slamming crap can't take it!.
Thanks for everything and please don't think I am stupid or a walk over, far from it, it's just him, his manner and attitude that I cannot cope with.
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whilst sympathising with your situation, and knowing from experience what it's like to work with/for difficult people, i have one reservation about your plan.....

you said you're going to go on hols and then get a sick cert afterwards for stress. Maybe i'm being cynical, but this pre-meditated intention to be 'stressed' kind of annoys me a bit. OK, you've had and are having a rough time of it at work, but do you not think you'll feel better or more philosophical about it after you've had a break? If so, then the idea of deciding you're going to be 'stressed' in a few weeks time, for me somewhat devalues work-related stress and it could be a case that down the line your doctor could refuse to sign a cert for somebody who is really at their wits end as he/she might be unable to differentiate between somebody who is totally stressed out and somebody who has perhaps another agenda.
Please don't take this as a personal attack (I don't know you from adam), but i read this thread yesterday, was thinking about it last night and just felt i had to air my views.
 
I am sorry you are having such a rough time at work. However, when you threatened to leave before, you should have just left work. You should not have accepted the boss's counter offer of more flexible working hours. The real problem i.e. his rudeness has not been solved.

If you are the only person in accounts, I can imagine it must be hard to keep all the work up to date and take your 19 days parental leave. You are entitled to this, but small firms don't really have the cover to facilitate the full family friendly workplace. I can understand your boss being annoyed at people looking for flexitime & taking maternity & parental leave. Even though everyone with children is entitled to all these concessions, it does lean on the side of the employee and the law does not take note of the employer needing extra cover while key people are on their leave.

As soon as you discovered your boss's attitudes towards families, you should have started looking for another job (pref. in a large organisation) which has the facilities to cope with additional leave/flexitime.

Your boss tends to want to 'have his cake and eat it'. His attitude suggests that he wanted an experienced person for the job, but didn't want the hassle of employees having a family & a life outside of work.

You said you are interviewing candidates for the position. If you chose a single candidate who is very assertive, they could suit the organisation & the manager better. Or else you could choose a candidate that does not have work at the moment. At least they are not leaving another job for this job. Please do not choose the nervous candidate, as this candidate may have a breakdown & may not be able to cope with your boss. I know you do not care about your boss (and rightly so) but think of the nervous candidate. What goes round comes round, and it is unfair to take a nervous candidate out of a job if they are completely unsuitable.
 
A question please... if you leave a company on bad terms, can you still get a reference from them or can they legally refuse? What can they say or cannot say on a reference?
Thanks.
 
buzybee said:
I am sorry you are having such a rough time at work. However, when you threatened to leave before, you should have just left work. You should not have accepted the boss's counter offer of more flexible working hours. The real problem i.e. his rudeness has not been solved.

If you are the only person in accounts, I can imagine it must be hard to keep all the work up to date and take your 19 days parental leave. You are entitled to this, but small firms don't really have the cover to facilitate the full family friendly workplace. I can understand your boss being annoyed at people looking for flexitime & taking maternity & parental leave. Even though everyone with children is entitled to all these concessions, it does lean on the side of the employee and the law does not take note of the employer needing extra cover while key people are on their leave.

As soon as you discovered your boss's attitudes towards families, you should have started looking for another job (pref. in a large organisation) which has the facilities to cope with additional leave/flexitime.

Your boss tends to want to 'have his cake and eat it'. His attitude suggests that he wanted an experienced person for the job, but didn't want the hassle of employees having a family & a life outside of work.

You said you are interviewing candidates for the position. If you chose a single candidate who is very assertive, they could suit the organisation & the manager better. Or else you could choose a candidate that does not have work at the moment. At least they are not leaving another job for this job. Please do not choose the nervous candidate, as this candidate may have a breakdown & may not be able to cope with your boss. I know you do not care about your boss (and rightly so) but think of the nervous candidate. What goes round comes round, and it is unfair to take a nervous candidate out of a job if they are completely unsuitable.
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Completley agree with everything said above. Do not use someone else as a pawn in this nobody deserves that.
 
As someone who was stuck in a horrible job and could not leave - I do not think it s fair to land someone else in the horrible position you are now about to get out of.

About five and a half years ago, I moved jobs to the most horrible, awful job in the world. The Director there had started off with the partners when there was just two of them and her as the Secretary, and she had built herself up from there. She was incompetent at her job, and a downright bully (to cover up I suppose) and hated the fact that I was good at my job and liked by the others, who hated her with a vengence. Everybody knew what she was like, but no one would complain, as she was there first. I had just seperated from my partner, bought a house on my own and could not afford to be one day without pay as I was financially pinned to the wall.

I lasted three long months and started looking for something else, which took me another three months. It was the longest six months of my life. It was the one time where I would love to tell somebody to shove their job where the sun dont shine, but I just couldnt. If I ever have the fortune to meet her again now, I am going to tell her exactly what I think of her.

I would be a very strong person, and I found the situation got me down, so I could imagine how a nervous/quieter person would deal with it.

Dont do it. Knowing that the job is that bad, I just could not sit there and interview someone, when you really want to tell them to get the hell out of there, for their own sake.
 
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