Would you ever go out with someone who is married

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pinkyBear

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Following from elainem's post where she was not sure if a guy she was seeing was married...

Would you go out with a married person?????

I knew a girl (we went to school and collage together) who would only ever go out with married men... I had lost touch with her over the years and bumped into her 2 years ago, she is seeing a guy... He's married, 4 kids (all grown up now), and his wife knows about this girl...!
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I'm not married and would not date a married man nor a man with kids (my own reasons).

I think that the kind of situation you describe just makes a mockery of marriage and what it is supposed to mean. These days it is a choice whereas in the past it would most certainly have been frowned upon not to get married and have kids, so you would think that people wouldn't bother going through the process of getting married when what they really want is a girlfriend(s)/boyfriend(s).

I assume that man's wife has no respect for herself and neither of them have respect for the vows they made.
 
Hi there,

I am married, no kids though.. I like a simple life, hense I have no intentions of dipping my toes in another stream! I think what amazed me about this girl (we used actually be best friends!) was that she would only choose a married man as a partner, even when we were younger.

Her arguement was, she did not want to settle down.. I mean the irony is I knew loads of guys who never had eny interest in settling down!
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Would he not have his hands full enough as it is with his wife nevermind going off and finding someone else to "court".

Also, we've all said that in our youth. I was more anti-committment than any other lad on the planet until I met my bf, now it's all dreaming of marriage and babies and dancing a merry path together. It takes meeting the right person, who you are compatible with to realise what you want.
 
Strange one Pinky - maybe she only has limited needs and prefers not to have her man hanging around so him having to go to his family suits her.

Would she be specifically into "home wrecking" or would she just be helping others to move on, post bust up?
 
be specifically into "home wrecking" or would she just be helping others to move on
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She never had any interest in the men if they were to leave their wives! She did not want to know! As long as she could be the mistress she was happy.... Her current partner is married as I mentioned, and my friend wants him to stay that way.. I am not sure how she feels about his wife, but I would think not alot!

This is why we "parted ways" all those years ago...
 
I just can't comprehend why she would put herself in that situation that could hurt so many people. Yes his kids are grown up but they're still his children.

I mean does she go out for dinner and socialise with him or is it purely a "bedroom" relationship?
 
I have never gone out with a married woman but I have been with them. I would never go out specifically looking for a married woman or actively chase after one but if she is willing to cheat, then it's her problem and not mine.

I have friends who take their wedding rings off when they are out. Not because they want to cheat but they want to be able to flirt. I find that really odd.
 
Suppose older men have the cash to splash, there the danger element of it all. Dont sound much like love/affection/relationship though.

Isnt there a word for someone who sleep with you in return for worldly goods? (& not its not marriage ;), even the busty model marries 90 year old oil tycoon type)
 
It's not just men who cheat. Believe me, there are plenty of unhappy married women out there.
 
Know what you mean Sunny, have seen in pubs/clubs men removing wedding rings to go and get their jollies without awkward questions.

"I would never go out specifically looking for a married woman or actively chase after one but if she is willing to cheat, then it's her problem and not mine."

I do agree with you there, although personally I would never participate in cheating of any form, but to actively go out and just pursue men who are as unavailable as can be is horrible behaviour.
 
Sunny said:
I have never gone out with a married woman but I have been with them.
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Without wanting to sound too judgemental or pure (maybe I'd have "sinned", when single, if offered by a married woman) but jaysus that sounds naff. There's surely enough single ones on the go.

I didnt go in for catholic guilt vis a vis fornication before marriage, but I think you're defo offside having it away with a married woman.
 
Betsy Og said:
I didnt go in for catholic guilt vis a vis fornication before marriage, but I think you're defo offside having it away with a married woman.
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Why? It's no different to being with someone with a boyfriend/girlfriend. I didn't make a committment to anyone. The guilt is theirs.

I have never went looking to be with a married woman or someone with a boyfriend but it has happened.
 
My bf and I were only having this same discussion on Sunday about a friend of his who had been kicked out of his marital (sounds so corny) home by his wife because he cheated on her and the wife went around and kicked the **** out of the "other" girl but the punishment for the husband, the person in the marriage who made the vows was "just" kicked out. I really don't agree with that. While yes the girl in that situation holds some of the blame, she wasn't married/committed to anybody and she didn't actively go out seeking to ruin someone's marriage but the husband did.
 
pixiebean22 said:
My bf and I were only having this same discussion on Sunday about a friend of his who had been kicked out of his marital (sounds so corny) home by his wife because he cheated on her and the wife went around and kicked the **** out of the "other" girl but the punishment for the husband, the person in the marriage who made the vows was "just" kicked out. I really don't agree with that. While yes the girl in that situation holds some of the blame, she wasn't married/committed to anybody and she didn't actively go out seeking to ruin someone's marriage but the husband did.
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Yeah, I don't get it. To be honest I can't stand cheating. Happened to me once and it hurt like hell. However, it was my girlfriends fault, not the guy she was with. He didn't know me from Adam so what did he care.
 
Its funny, my SIL is going out with this guy (none of us like him) and we encourage her to be unfaithful to her bf!!! :) Although she hasn't! I have even tried setting her up!

My opinion may be odd, but if your married - you have made a commitment, and you should not stray. However if your not married, you have made no legal commitment - so you know.. the world is your oyster .. play away .. play away! That is if you want to..
 
Sunny said:
Why? It's no different to being with someone with a boyfriend/girlfriend. I didn't make a committment to anyone. The guilt is theirs.
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If you know are you not an accessory to the "crime"?

How about a brutal analogy for the craic, you come across someone breaking into a car, he's trying to hotwire the car but doesnt know the wires to cross, you helpfully explain what to do and walk on by. Ok its his crime but didnt you help it happen?

I'd accept that you have the lesser responsibility but, all in all, I think people should stay away from married persons..... (sound like a dinosaur I suppose but there you go....)
 
I don't agree with cheating. If you want to be with someone else go be with them and don't try to convince yourself or anyone else that you love the person you're thinking of straying from and that's the reason you're staying with them while cheating on them.

It's so dishonest and so shady and hurts so many people.
 
If you know another person is married, you shouln't go near them. You can't just say it's the married person's fault. That other person has a husband / wife and possibly children and you are knowingly causing hurt to that family.
 
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