Will question regarding guardian

S

Samantha

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We are in a process of making a will and the solicitor is asking us to name a gardian for our children in case of myself and my husband died at the same time.
We have a bit of a dilemma because our preference will be that our kids be with my family which live abroad (I am not irish). The trustee will be my husband brother but we are wondering it is really possible to do it without too much hassle and without my husband family fighting against it ?
 
It there a particular reason why you don't want it to be your husbands family? If in the unfortunate event that both you and your husband were to die would your children not also have the additional trauma of being uprooted from friends, school etc on top of a tragic loss.
 
This is a very difficult issue which we are facing into shortly. I presume that you really need to discuss matters with the potential guardian(s) before naming them in the will, to ensure that they are OK with their new role.
 
By way of general observation:

1. Many people, when making wills for small children, will not make any major distinction in their mind between trustees and guardians.

2. TO make the distinction clear, the trustees hold the assets and the guardians hold the children; they may or may not be one and the same person(s).

3. By way of expressing a personal preference, if I were guardian of any of my nephews\nieces, I would greatly prefer that somebody else have control of the money. I could then agree a monthly payment with the Trustee and\or payment on an as-needed basis. This has the advantage that when the kids were raised, they would not be in the awkward position of perhaps holding their foster parent to account for stewardship of the childrens' assets.
 
I would be thinking exactly the opposite! If I asked some one to be responsible for my children (a pretty onerous task no matter how you look at it) then I certainly wouldn't be questioning their ability to handle any funds left for them.
 
"I certainly wouldn't be questioning their ability to handle any funds left for them."

But you won't be around to question them; Your children will. My own children I can happily tell to p**s off if they ask about their inheritance; but if I am raising somebody else's children as my own, I would rather that I be able to direct them to "talk to the trustees" when they ask (as they are entitled to do) about their money. Just a personal preference.
 
Does your husband's family have to know that your family will be the guardians when you are making the will. (Hopefully the issue of guardianship will never actually occur so they will not ever find out?
 
Yes my husband family know that my brother will be the gardian because none of them agree to be fulltime gardian, they want to share the kids between them but that I mean that BIL will take them for 4 months, SIL 4 months and MIL the remaining 4 months which we don't agree as we don't want the kids being moved between 3 houses.

They did not make any comments regarding our decision so we are assuming it is ok but in the back of our minds, we are wondering if the worst happen to us, they will contest the gardianship part and go back to their original plan.
 
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