What is a court order and would it help this situation

[Ilovemydog]

I have a family member who fell out with many members of the family. It is me who is receiving the sharp end of the stick through a campaign of harrassment over the past two and half years. I thought all this would blow over and I changed my number in process but individual got my new number.

The harrassment has been very heavy with 100s and 100s of abusive messages. Also emails, fake facebook profiles, and so much more. Private number calls.

When this person got my new number and started back up with the abusive texts, I unfortunately responded but I haven't since January. The messages are still coming in.

I see that there is a lot of anger in her messages. A lot of poison. I see that she's trying to provoke a response or a reaction out of me. I realise that she will only take huge delight in something like that and claim to be the abused party.

Amongst many of her abusive messages were messages telling me to stop prank calling her too. Thing is, I'm not phoning her. I've got better things to be doing. I wrote here recently about my work and got a mod to delete after some weeks because I gave away too much information. Basically overworked and underpaid and in fact I'm writing this from work. I've been working since Friday and I won't be finished til Sunday evening. My back is breaking and my head is killing me as if I was out boozing non stop. Basically, I have far too much happening in my life really and I'm far far to busy to be phoning her.

I'm finding this all very very very stressful. My father is sick in hospital and I got a call this morning. It was private number. I don't usually answer them but I did this time this it might be the hospital. It wasn't and it was another prank call. Over the course of the day more and more calls came in which went unanswered. Not only that it was eventually accompanied by abusive messages from the person who is so confusing consumed and wrapped up in my life.

I finally made it to the Gardai this week. I got on well and I agreed with the officer about going down the informal route of a Garda phoning her to give her a warning. I don't know what the outcome of that was.
Thing is, all the abuse had started back up again today. The calls and the message after message of pure dirt and filth.

What now?

I unfortunately didn't go to the correct Garda station at first. I went to the one in the city and because I'm from another part of town he referred me to another Garda station. In that Garda station, the officer mentioned a court order as a possible option available to me.

Because this is family, I would ideally like to avoid going down the route of making a formal statement and getting things down the route of the DPP.

All this has to stop.

So far, it's early days in the informal warning route but it appears it hasn't been enough for this person. What now?

 

[CJConnolly]

What a horrible situation, I can't imagine what it must be like trying to deal with it. Hopefully someone with legal expertise will respond to you here and give you advice, all I know is that you see an increasing number of cases going to court where someone endlessly harasses another in person, by phone, etc, so you certainly can go down a legal route to end this madness if you choose. Make sure you keep records of the harassment, the time/date of calls, numbers they were made from, the nature of the calls, etc. And go back to speak to the Garda who was to call this woman and check that he did - and let him know the harassment continued. See what he advises.

I wish you the best with this, no one should have to endure such madness.

 

[Ilovemydog]

Thanks for your reply.

It took me so long to go to the Gardai but in the end I felt I really had no choice in the matter. So for now, the informal route we are taking.

I would really like to avoid court due to being family but I'm coming under fierce pressure to proceed with going down the formal route.
I was hoping a warning from a Garda would help things and make this person stop what she is doing. Unfortunately, she has persisted over the weekend and I woke to more abuse this morning.

I had something in the back of mind going to the Gardai thinking 'what if she persists' or goes down a different avenue with her anger.
It seems as if going to the Gardai has angered her severely and she has now targeted Facebook friends. I have her blocked and settings are set to high but she's still tracking me down.

I feel sick and not only that I'm stuck in work and can't do anything for now.

 

[DirectDevil]

This is an awful situation. You should not have to tolerate this especially with the pressure of everything else currently in play.

The relevant offence appears to be that of harassment. The offence is set out in section 10 of the Non-fatal Offences Against the Person Act 1997.

Here is a link to explain the offence http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1997/act/26/section/10/enacted/en/html#sec10

You will note that if the defendant is convicted a court could also order them not to contact you.

To proceed with this matter as set out above the "offender" would have to be prosecuted in the criminal courts. Basically, you complain to Gardaí who collect the evidence and refer the papers to the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP). The DPP then decides if they will proceed. If they decide to prosecute the matter goes to court. If they decide not to prosecute there is little to be done about that.

Note that going the criminal prosecution route does not involve you in legal costs. The DPP prosecutes the offence and you would be a prosecution witness.

If there is no prosecution taken by the DPP you would have two options. You might try and initiate a private prosecution in the District Court but that has it's own technical and practical difficulties. You could issue civil proceedings against the culprit. These options will cost you money and a lot of bother which is probably not what you want.

In your position I would be pressing Gardaí very firmly to have this matter prosecuted as a criminal matter but that will be for the DPP to decide.

Sorry if this is too long but I wanted to set it out clearly for you.

Best of luck with all of it.

 

[elcato]

Keep records and report it to the same guard with written facts.
Some tips for now though.

1. I think you need to close your facebook account. You can deregister it with one click and it will go away from view.
   
2. Buy a new phone and only give the number to one person at a time. Keep record of who you gave the number to. This will give you an idea of any mole (of course they could give it out innocently as well).
3. Talk this over with other family members. They may well be getting the same stick.
4. Do not give in to bullies, when you ignore them they will eventually realise and go somewhere else.

 

[Ilovemydog]

Unfortunately, the harassment continued and taken on the shape as before - on and off. There have been spells where it was very heavy and then this person cools off and I might not here anything for weeks.

She back with an ABSOLUTE vengeance after the Christmas. The whole family got abusive messages. This is someone who is deeply unhappy and holding o to grievances and a grudge a d living in the past rehashing old rows. She wants a pound of flesh and my head on a chopping block. In the week gone by she has stepped things up and contacted my employer and my boyfriend through Facebook and Twitter warning them - how nasty I am. From a family row which she's clearly going to take to the grave with her - the cheek of her.

Enough was enough.

I have a new number now even though I think it won't fix things. It will help but she has shown that she will seek me out in other ways like through my boyfriend and employer.

I went back to the Gardaí and the officer I spoke to was very helpful but explained without threats of violence from her there is little they can do. That doesn't seem right to me. There is so much from abuse and harassment from her.

He explained its a civil matter and I should be going to a solicitor and seeking an injunction.

I've been recommended some solicitors now and I'll be going down that way. I wonder how much would costs be for an injunction/court order? I'll find out in time I suppose once I get into a solicitors office but I would like a general idea as to what this could cost me.

I have so much messages and my family has other messages too but not as many. I have the most. We are all in agreement that this woman needs help from the medical professionals as in to be sectioned and we've got enough to go on but my mother doesn't want to go down this route. Ridiculous.

Completely unnerved I am.

 

[Vanessa]

You may have met an inexperienced Garda although that is no excuse.
This is a criminal matter and is an offence of harassment. The Non Fatal Offences Act refers.
The poster who recommends keeping records etc is correct. I suggest calling to your local Garda station and seek a meeting with an experienced Garda or Sergeant. Insist on the matter being investigated and a file sent to the DPP. The offender will not respond to friendly warnings. I have experience of such a case and the offender was brought to court, remanded in custody and eventually fined and given a suspended sentence. It has gone past the point of worrying how it will affect the wider family. This person is making your life a misery

 

[DirectDevil]

You may have met an inexperienced Garda although that is no excuse.
This is a criminal matter and is an offence of harassment. The Non Fatal Offences Act refers.
The poster who recommends keeping records etc is correct. I suggest calling to your local Garda station and seek a meeting with an experienced Garda or Sergeant. Insist on the matter being investigated and a file sent to the DPP. The offender will not respond to friendly warnings. I have experience of such a case and the offender was brought to court, remanded in custody and eventually fined and given a suspended sentence. It has gone past the point of worrying how it will affect the wider family. This person is making your life a misery

I endorse these views completely.

This situation is on it's way to becoming dangerous.

For now, it might be helpful to instruct a solicitor to compile a formal complaint for you and submit that to the Gardaí to get some action as it looks like they are going to be involved eventually.