Upping sticks and moving abroad...or not?

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Sophia2457

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Hi All
Now myself and hubby are just into our 50s and time is flying by, we're looking long and hard at the rest of our lives...what to do?

I have a godd permanent job that wont set world on fire (county council) and he has job he hates but no quals for anything - that is, third level.

He wants to sell up and try to make a go of it abroad.

I'm a qualified TEFL teacher with experience abroad and a degree - he can do any type of bar work, physical work etc. We'r love to live in Portugal. Our house has about €350,000 equity in it and we have no children.

Yes, I know we're mad but I'm just exploring things here. He's really suffering in work with stress and heading down the depression route.

Should we - rent our house, move to Lisbon where I could get a teaching job and take the biggest gamble of our lives, or stick it out here? We've tried to get him another job and we're looking into taxi ing for him too, as he works better alone.

I'm always watching those programmes on TV - a place in the sun etc - and wonder what happens when the camereas leave. Needless to say we dont speak Portuguese - a huge hurdle!

Are we mad or should we start investigating? Anyone got any experience? I feel depressed myself thinking of being stuck in this job, this house and sometimes this country for the rest of my life.
Hoping someone has some helpful comments!
Thanks
 
sophia,
i would say that the seed has been sown and you'll probably regret it if you don't try it.
Taking a couple of years out, renting out your home and renting over there, won't set you back too much in the grand scheme of things if it didn't work out.
I'm sure there are forums for Portugal but maybe looking at will give you an idea for France. The general feeling is that you need to be realistic about job prospects and you absolutely need to learn the language. I've left Irl for France and have no regrets (but my oh is french so it was easier for us, plus i'd lived in France before).

Good luck whatever you decide!!
 
I would say give it a shot. agree with other poster that you may only regret it as it is the things you don't do that seemed to end up being the regrets in life.
Is there any chance you could take a career break so that if things didn't work out that you have some security to come back to.
Rent out the house and go for it.
Best of luck what ever you do.
 
Sophia2457 said:
He's really suffering in work with stress and heading down the depression route.
Click to expand...
No offence but this is definitely not a good situation in which to be making/planning radical life changing decisions or upheavals. Far better to deal with the underlying issues that are causing the stress and potential depression before making such decisions. He should talk to his GP and get professional help with these problems.
 
No offence but this is definitely not a good situation in which to be making/planning radical life changing decisions or upheavals. Far better to deal with the underlying issues that are causing the stress and potential depression before making such decisions. He should talk to his GP and get professional help with these problems.


like staying in Ireland is going to cheer him up! Pernickety idea's are good and you could take a career break - great safety net for you both..

go for it - and best of luck!

:)
 
Hi,

If would be great if you could try it out, but leave doors open in Ireland, so that you could come back easily, if that is what you wanted.

If you work for the County Council, can you request a career break for say, 2 years? This would mean that if things dont work out, you have a guaranteed job to come back to.

It sounds like the two of you need a change of scenery, so I'd say go for it! It doesnt have to be forever! Check out TELF websites, to see what your likely income there would be. Also the cost of living is much cheaper there.

Best of luck!
 
I am upping sticks and moving to France. Completely different situation as my partner is French but I understand your concerns re: leaving permanent jobs etc...the best advice I can give you is to research, research and research again...find out all you can before you go (if you go). I would think that health insurance is one area you should look into. If you already have this here in Ireland, can you keep it going using your Irish address? Speaking from the heart I say do it! TEFL teaching is a great way to have an income and there are plenty of websites devoted to people who work all over the world with TEFL...if you don't do it now, you will always wonder what if....my grandmother still complains about that one time herself and my grandfather planned to emigrate to Canada and he made the decision for them that it was too risky and that is 50 years later!
 
The increased levels of sunlight will probably have a positive effect on your partners wellbeing and help with any signs of depression.
You should go for it. You will never get it out of your system.
What about trying Australia or New Zeland instead. You will not have the problem of the language.
 
Hi there,
To be honest, I think you and your partner are at the perfect age to do something like this.

If you can take a year out from work rent out the hosue and see how it goes... If you like it - the world is your oyster, if not no big hassle.

My mum sold a business around your age, about 8 years ago - last year she went through the same thing as you are right now, but because she is that bit older she was reluctant to move.

You have no dependents, with flights being so cheap as well if you feel homesick, you will only be a few hours away.
 
I agree with ClubMan about stress. If you move there will be a period when you are settling in and this will probably be stressful. If you find it easy to get a job and he doesn't that might be another source of stress. Imagine what it would be like for him sitting in a rented house on his own all day with no friends or family to talk to.
Why not head over to that ever part of Portugal you would like to live in and spend a few weeks there. He could try to line up a bar job and you could both look for a place to live (or even an area). Don't treat it like a holiday and see what sort of daily routine you would have. You should also try to get over there off-season and see how different it is.
 
True. Moving house is generally considered on of the most stressful things that you can do. Moving country presumably more so especially if it means leaving behind your normal support network of family, friends etc. If he is already stressed and at risk of or suffering from depression then undertaking this venture now might not be the best idea. Certainly making radical life changing decisions while not thinking clearly due to stress/depression is not a good idea. Others may think that a bit of sun or a change of scenery is enough to cure stress and depression but I believe that they are seriously mistaken. Ultimately it's up to you and yours to decide. If you were using the terms "stress" and "depression" casually and didn't actually mean that there was a serious problem such as clinical depression then by all means ignore my comments. Better, I believe, to err on the side of caution when it comes to such matters though.
 
Thanks everyone for some grat comments and particularly the positive note.

I like the idea of a trip as research and will check out career break situation, tho I have an idea you can't take one at my grade (gone too high!!!)

It does feel like now or never, while we're still healthy (thanks for the insurance tip). We dont have savings so all this needs to be undertaken very carefully.

The stress op is feeling emanates from work and despite our efforts ageism is working against him getting another job here. We dont have a big support network so the loss of one is not a major factor.

I'm going to apply to the international school I worked for before who have a school in Lisbon, and see what the response is. I can provide refs from my time working in Barcelona for them - was much in demand for work with adults and total immersion courses.
I dont believe in just throwing in the towel and saying oh what can we do, we're stuck here! I can at least try and take on board all your suggestions..and any more are very welcome :)
 
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