Stuck in a benefit hole :-(

H

HELP

Guest
Hi,
Im hoping someone can help give me some advice here.

Im stuck in a benitfit trap that i feel i cant get out of. Im so depressed about my whole situation Ive even had thoughts of just running away from everything it would be so much easier.

OK Ill try give a basic post about my situation.
Im on one parent allowance although i do have partner. It came about when i had to move from the family home due to difficulties. I know we couldnt afford the huge rents so if I was on benifits I could get rent allowance.
Anyway now I want out, but dont know which way to turn. I know we cant afford rent on top of everything else on my partners wages, its ok but not great. I dont work at the moment with a young child to look after, but plan to look for part-time work in future. I want us to get married and live together as a ligit couple, but cant see how we can do it. Out rent is €1300 at the moment.
Im on the council housing list and have been for years, if i got a house this would solve the problem of the huge rent and we might have a possibility of standing on our own 2 feet without being crippled by the rent, but I cant see anything happening there for the next few years atleast.
Where do i turn, is it possible for us to survive on our own??
 
Re: Stuck in a benifit hole :-(

If return to work you can apply for schemes like the back to work allowance and continue to retain your rent allowance. Talk to a Job Facilitator in the SW office about it.
 
If I am reading your post correctly you have a partner, which you live with, and are being supported by. I dont see what the problem is? You are then not a one parent family, correct? You are claiming to be a one parent family when you are not. Am I reading correctly or have I missed something?
 
Swallows said:
If I am reading your post correctly you have a partner, which you live with, and are being supported by. I dont see what the problem is? You are then not a one parent family, correct? You are claiming to be a one parent family when you are not. Am I reading correctly or have I missed something?
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Thats a really helpful post.
Thanks :(
 
HELP said:
Thats a really helpful post.
Thanks :(
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Is Swallows correct or incorrect? It might help to clarify details that are not explicit rather than snapping at people who try to respond to your query.
 
I wanst snapping at anyone. I came on here looking for advice. Swallows is asking questions Ive already explained in my post and then telling me they "dont see the problem". I wouldnt have asked for help if it wasnt a problem. It may not seem like a problem from where your standing, but in my shoes its a problem.

I came on here looking for advice on getting away from benifits, but I cant see a way out and thats what my problem is. We have a huge rent that Im tied to, how do we manage on our own. If I get rid of benifits I obviously wont receive help with rent and that a major factor that scares me from giving up benifits. We wont survive on my partners wage and say a part time one if I was to go to work. It wouldnt amount to enough each week and with everything else on top aswell to pay €1300 a month rent.

Is there a way out, could we do it on our own??
Anyone got any advice please.
 
Swallows' post was quite reasonable as far as I can see. The issues that s/he raises are far from clear in my opinion so to clarify them was reasonable.

Are you fradulently claiming certain benefits - in particular lone parents allowance - or not? If you are then you won't get any help in perpetuating this situation or fraudulently claiming other benefits here and this thread will most likely be closed.
 
What do I have to do to spell it out. Im asking for help to get away for benifits.

Ive already said in my first post that I claim lone parents allowance, although i have a partner. What more do you want me to say about that.

Im not asking to carry this on, as Ive said a few times I want to stop claiming benifits, but dont think we will survive without benifits. And thats what Im asking for help and advice about.
 
MugsGame said:
Could you move somewhere that doesn't cost €1300 a month to rent?
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Most of the houses where I live cost in and around this price. Most start at about €1000. Need to stay close to this area too with kids in school.
I couldnt go for anything small like an apartment to make price cheaper, as it wouldnt be big enough for us.
Thanks for the suggestion though.
 
HELP said:
What do I have to do to spell it out. Im asking for help to get away for benifits.

Ive already said in my first post that I claim lone parents allowance, although i have a partner. What more do you want me to say about that.

Im not asking to carry this on, as Ive said a few times I want to stop claiming benifits, but dont think we will survive without benifits. And thats what Im asking for help and advice about.
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Get a job?
 
HELP said:
Most of the houses where I live cost in and around this price. Most start at about €1000. Need to stay close to this area too with kids in school.
I couldnt go for anything small like an apartment to make price cheaper, as it wouldnt be big enough for us.
Thanks for the suggestion though.
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You might have to. You can live in an appartment or a duplex with a child if you have greens or playgrounds near you. Plenty of children grow up in appartments, its only likely to be for a while if you start working you will have more money. You dont really have a choice if you are living with your partner and claiming wrongly it is likely you will get caught, I am not making a judgement here, just telling you. You are better off with a smaller amount of money now for a better future for yourself and your child. Is your partner not working, is he not contributing?
 
Im glad how much help out there for you Help, its hard one, you have to think off your family first, all other relpys are NO HELP..They dont what you are going thought.
 
Hi there, Could I maybe suggest a couple of things that may be of help to you; Firstly, fair play to you for wanting to improve your situation.Well done.Next apply for a place on a VTOS course,this will mean you will be trained to do something ie;hair and beauty.You will be paid your allowence plus about 30 euro extra travel and lunch expenses.Also when you apply for the course also apply for a place in the creche for your child,this cost 20euro a week.You are also entitled to work a limited amount of time and income without affecting your benefits..If you do not have a 3rd level qualifaction, you may also be entitled to a grant.talk to a VTOS coordinator to ensure all of the above.After two years, you will at the very least have a qualifaction,at which stage you could be in a position to take up part time work,while child in school.I can only imagine how difficult it is to escape the welfare trap,But it is a POVERTY trap .keep the chin up ,If you did decide to marry and come off lone parent allowence,you may have to consider moving to a different county where the rents are much cheaper.But your quality of life will be as good if not better,especially your mental health as being on welfare seems to upset you.I hope this of help to you,and wish you every success.deew
 
jammacjam said:
You might have to. You can live in an appartment or a duplex with a child if you have greens or playgrounds near you. Plenty of children grow up in appartments, its only likely to be for a while if you start working you will have more money. You dont really have a choice if you are living with your partner and claiming wrongly it is likely you will get caught, I am not making a judgement here, just telling you. You are better off with a smaller amount of money now for a better future for yourself and your child. Is your partner not working, is he not contributing?
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I have more than one child, thats why Im not sure living in an apartment would be an option. And yes my partner dose work as I explained in my first post, but his wages arent very much. Thats why im worried about affording high rents, even with me working part-time.

cagney
Im glad how much help out there for you Help, its hard one, you have to think off your family first, all other relpys are NO HELP..They dont what you are going thought.
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Thanks for that, your right people dont know what your going through unless there in the situation themselves. They just think Oh yeah why dont you get a job, but its not as easy as that when you have crap wages and then if you have to pay for childcare out of that.

deew
Could I maybe suggest a couple of things that may be of help to you; Firstly, fair play to you for wanting to improve your situation.Well done.Next apply for a place on a VTOS course,this will mean you will be trained to do something ie;hair and beauty.You will be paid your allowence plus about 30 euro extra travel and lunch expenses.Also when you apply for the course also apply for a place in the creche for your child,this cost 20euro a week.You are also entitled to work a limited amount of time and income without affecting your benefits..If you do not have a 3rd level qualifaction, you may also be entitled to a grant.talk to a VTOS coordinator to ensure all of the above.After two years, you will at the very least have a qualifaction,at which stage you could be in a position to take up part time work,while child in school.I can only imagine how difficult it is to escape the welfare trap,But it is a POVERTY trap .keep the chin up ,If you did decide to marry and come off lone parent allowence,you may have to consider moving to a different county where the rents are much cheaper.But your quality of life will be as good if not better,especially your mental health as being on welfare seems to upset you.I hope this of help to you,and wish you every success.deew
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Thanks for your suggestions deew. I dont think Id quailify for a VTOS scheme if me and my partner get married. I did work a few years back, but I only had one child at the time and childcare was simple then as they werent in school.
I dont see why I should move to a different country. Why should I do that I was born here and this is my home, all my family are here.

Thanks to those who gave some advice.
 
Firstly to perhaps assist your situation and to work out what you finances will be i suggest you visit MABS or the CIC. They are both confidential, non judmental services who may be able to assist you in working out what benefits you could claim and looking at you situation then. Your partner could claim Family Income Supplement if he fulfills the conditions and if his wages were particularly low you may qualify for other benefits. The suggestion of you taking this chance to do a course by Deew is a good one as you can still claim a payment in your own right. I would certainly look into and get advice so that you know all the options.
 
Thanks so much for that advice Thrifty. I will certainly go and look at those places you mentioned.
 
liteweight said:
Deew said a different county i.e. down the country not a different country altogether.
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Oh God so sorry I misread that as country.:eek:
Yeah a different county might be an option, but it would mean everyone would have to be uprooted ie from work and school, so it would be like starting all over again.
 
I'm glad you want to get off benefits fair play to you - but don't be shocked when people get annoyed that you are living with your partner and claiming lone parents okay!. Other people seem to manage not claiming benefits so perhaps you should sit down and think [1] where could you move to that is cheaper - i.e apartment or house further away [2] what kind of job could you get that would get you off benefits - have you considered perhaps minding kids or perhaps doing some cleaning in the evenings/early mornings when your partner is there to mind your own kids. Could your partner contribute by working extra hours? - you will have to work hard if you really want to come off benefits - try to do a FAS course or something to back yourself up as well. DSW want people to come off benefits so help and support is there - seek professional advice from MABS.
 
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