OP I am sorry to hear about your family losses, this must have been a very tough time and I am sure continues to be.
A lot of posters on here start with what they want to do and then need to figure out how to make the money work for that. I would urge you to start there as well, and you will probably have the funds to do whatever it is you choose to do. Remember very few things in life are truly irreversible, so you can take time to try a few things and see what suits you - if they don't then just return to your life as it is now. This could look like education, volunteering, travel, a new job, a new business using your skill set. Explore some ideas with friends and with professionals, you might be surprised at what people suggest for you based on how they know you or on what you tell them about yourself. You are only 45, so you have many many years ahead in hopefully excellent health and the comfort of wealth to be able to do as you choose.