Single,30 somethin,what to do where to go

B

BURREN32

Guest
I've been on here quiet a few times now and found it very helpful with lots of stuff.
Now i'm gonna chance my arm on getting abit of advice on my own personal situation.
In my 30's and single,was working out of the country for years and moved back a 18months ago was in relationship when i moved back but that ended.
Any advice on meeting new people,have never been able to approach women in a pub/club's and chat them up!
 
Join all the clubs, classes etc that you're interested in and where you'd expect there to be a decent gender balance. (e.g. woodwork is a a waste of time)

I felt the same a few years back in my mid twenties then, and just wasn't interested in the type of people you'd meet in pubs and clubs.

My personal saviour was a musical society. The best ever. Men are always welcome and you don't have to be a good singer.
 
Hi, in my experience when a guy tries to chat me up obviously being cheesy I run for the hills! Better to spot a gang of girls you like subtley make your way over and get chatting naturally. You'll also find it's a better way to see if you like the person as there will be no airs and graces etc much better to have a bit of craic and see where you go from there. If it's that much hard work its not right in my opinion ! As for where, it depends on what you are into, you are more likely to find a girl in the local pub (depending on where you live) rather than town as you get all sorts in town. Going to matches and then the pub is always a good one too I;ve also heard a lot of people meeting through tag ruby as its really social. I've only ever met people in pubs sadly enough but Im sure a few other posters will have suggestions...
 
To make a very sweeping statement, women love men who can cook and/or dance. There are dance classes/open nights all around Dublin (if that's where you are based) and there are also lots of cheap cookery demonstrations all around. A search for either will bring up lots of options. And you'll have the advantage of getting exercise (dancing) and learning something new. And they are usually attended by lots of women!
 
If you are not into the pubs scene for meeting people...I would definitely recommend the internet.

I know lots of friends who have had fun on
[broken link removed]. com or maybe .ie.... try it...its not fool proof but a good start in the dating game.!

One of my buddies in the UK got me to write a reference for her on
www.mysinglefriend.com its a bit of craic..

I know 2 people who met their hubby on the internet.
 
my sister is the same, finds it hard to find new people , but would love to meet a decent fella. she is 31 , and all she wants is to meet a nice guy who shares her interests, if there is anyone out there who would be willing to take her off ours hands and stop her calling to my house every saturday morning at dawn as she is bored i would be grateful , as would my parents lol
 
heretohelp said:
she is 31 , and all she wants is to meet a nice guy who shares her interests
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If her interests include wild sex, rubber and fetish and a bit of B/D-S&M then she should have no problems finding a partner on the internet :p :D ;)
 
BURREN32 said:
Any advice on meeting new people,have never been able to approach women in a pub/club's and chat them up!
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Let your family and friends know that you are open to meeting someone - I met my boyfriend through friends.
 
BURREN32 said:
Any advice on meeting new people,have never been able to approach women in a pub/club's and chat them up!
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Fine when you're younger maybe and up for a bit of fun but as you get older, I think this is possibly the worst way to meet women.

If I were single I would have no hesitation in using dating sites/agencies. If you don't want to, as DeeFox says, make it known amongst friends/family that you are 'in the market' as it were.

In general I would say be yourself, be polite and be well turned out. Difficult sometimes, but don't try too hard because you are likely to come across as a fraud.

What are your interests/hobbies?
 
If you are interested in sports, join a club and you will meet people more naturally, much easier than a pub situation.

More specifically, if you are in Dublin and like watersports, I would recommend doing a beginners kayaking course with Wild Water Kayak Club, they run them during the summer. As well as the enjoyment of learning a new sport, you'll meet lots of people, there is a great social side to the club as well, weekends away etc. If it sounds like something you would enjoy, google for their website.


Yes, I am biased, I met my husband through the club :)
 
The Jury's out on the Internet for me I think. I blame you lot. After all of you said it was a great place to meet someone, and me saying right, be brave, I went online and got chatting to what I thought was a nice guy, last week.

Decided to meet in a cafe for coffee (good idea, bad idea, you tell me)

He was short, (he said he was 5"8) but he must have been about 5"3", with a few teeth missing, lived at home with his mammy,(at 38) is dying to get out, but can not afford anywhere, did not drive and had no ambition to drive, and seemed an all round slob. He tripped himself up a couple of times during the converation and it became obvious he had bigged up his job too. He also had a catch phrase, which was his nickname...I am not even going to say it, it was that cringeworthy......

The conversation was just so awkward and I am laughing to myself here even thinking about it.

Had said he was into cooking (it has to be from scratch, no jars of gloop!!!!)and Asian cooking. Trying to make conversation, I said I made a lovely beef rendang and he did not know what that was!


The conversation was stilted and I am laughing to myself here even thinking about it. I expected my friends to jump out at any stage like you've been framed.

I was only there about an hour and fifteen minutes but it seemed like a lifetime. When I came home I poured the biggest Southern Comfort (no mixer)you have ever seen and down the hatch it went! I dont even drink Southern Comfort.


That was my first date in 8 years, and after that it does not bother me if I have to wait another 8 years.
 
Oh No Manda!! :D I'm sorry but - LOL!

That's like something from a comedy movie. And I was one of the ones advising on internet dating and all. Oh God. I do feel sorry for you - that's an awful way to start something like this. Don't give up though.

Still, you're laughing now.
 
MandaC - don't give up! Don't let one bad experience put you off. At least you have a funny story now... What about our OP? Perhaps you could send him a pm...hmmm?
 
MandaC!!!

First of all - great story :)

Second - you wouldnt let one bad experience from meeting a guy in a bar put you off - so dont let one bad experience from meeting one online put you off!!!

Had you seen a pic of this guy before you met him?

Dont give up!!!!!! You might have used up all your bad luck on this one and the next one along will be perfect :)
 
MandaC, Thats brilliant,made me laugh, thanks. you should start your own thread on your dating stories, I'd subscribe :)

To the OP.
I grew up in a house with loads of women, this taught me a thing or two.
Don't fear them, they smell it.
Don't try and chat them up (they smell this too) just chat to them. People love to talk about themselves, so ask questions and listen, be friendly.
There is no need to be embarrassed as you don't have to committ to anything during a friendly conversation. This avoids rejection. the more you do it the better at it you become.

I second the tag rugby, A mate of mine does it and says it's full of lovely single women.
 
truthseeker said:
MandaC!!!

First of all - great story :)

Second - you wouldnt let one bad experience from meeting a guy in a bar put you off - so dont let one bad experience from meeting one online put you off!!!

Had you seen a pic of this guy before you met him?

Dont give up!!!!!! You might have used up all your bad luck on this one and the next one along will be perfect :)
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Because I have gone from one relationship to another, I have really only dated 2 or 3 people in my lifetime. A bad experience like this has put me off a bit.

I did see a photo and he looked fine in it though his mouth was closed so it was not clear he was missing a couple of teeth.

He must have been paranoid about it as well, because he said I had nice teeth and asked were they real, I said "what"? and he said he meant "natural". He also said I was "more glamorous" than my discription as he was expecting someone dowdy!!!! and that he was "plesantly surprised". Was just about to pipe up with "well, I am not" but thought better of it.

After the biggest Southern Comfort ever (qtr bottle?) when I got home, I was on my ear and had to go to my bed, even though it was half past six in the evening! Woke up the next day with full face of make up, sheets full of make up, Panda Eyes a la Alice Cooper and a thumping headache.

Not to mention thinking along the lines of me and the internet have just fallen out! Big Time.
 
MandaC said:
Because I have gone from one relationship to another, I have really only dated 2 or 3 people in my lifetime. A bad experience like this has put me off a bit.

I did see a photo and he looked fine in it though his mouth was closed so it was not clear he was missing a couple of teeth.

He must have been paranoid about it as well, because he said I had nice teeth and asked were they real, I said "what"? and he said he meant "natural". He also said I was "more glamorous" than my discription as he was expecting someone dowdy!!!! and that he was "plesantly surprised". Was just about to pipe up with "well, I am not" but thought better of it.

After the biggest Southern Comfort ever (qtr bottle?) when I got home, I was on my ear and had to go to my bed, even though it was half past six in the evening! Woke up the next day with full face of make up, sheets full of make up, Panda Eyes a la Alice Cooper and a thumping headache.

Not to mention thinking along the lines of me and the internet have just fallen out! Big Time.
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Ive had hardly any dates either, but have some funny/awful stories of bad ones.

My very first foray into internet dating I chatted to the guy via email for WEEKS before we met. His profile said he was an occasional smoker and slightly overweight.

When we met he was a heavy smoker and very overweight - plus a bit of a patronising chap in person but didnt come across a bit like that via email. His pic had only been his head so the weight was only obvious in person.
A nice enough fella, but the 'spark' just wasnt there. I moved on quickly.

Sounds like you got a fella who wasnt expecting a real live glamorous lady with all her teeth!!

I agree the teeth thing is very off putting. Did you have any idea what he did for a living etc... before meeting him? Sometimes that can give an indication of how well he maintains his appearance (if he has to go to business meetings etc... he might be more groomed).

You can use it as a warning joke for the next internet fella, ask him laughingly does he have all his teeth cos you had a bad experience with the last one.

Seriously - dont be giving up, the coffee meeting was a great idea, at least you werent stuck in a restaurant or pub with him for hours on end. You knew quickly you werent digging it - thats the way to play the internet dating game.
 
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