Should you give a present for a wedding abroad?

A

aaa1

Registered User
Messages
123
I'm travelling to a wedding in Europe in six weeks and am wondering what the current protocol is for giving a present for a couple who are marrying abroad?

I'm friends with the groom, although I haven't seen much of him in the past year or two as he's had to move to another part of the country for work. The couple are getting married abroad for financial reasons - they want to keep the numbers low. It's proving to be pretty expensive because there are no options when it comes to flights, it's only serviced by one airline. So between flights and accommodation it's a minimum E700 for two of us for about four days - and that's without food, drinks etc.

Personally I kind of resent having to get a present as I think we're spending enough going there. They didn't put anything on the invitation re presents so I'm guessing they expect one. Technically I can afford one but as it's in a country I have never had any desire to visit, I feel I'm spending enough. At the same time, I know from experience how people can hold grudges over wedding presents/lack of and I don't want to create bad blood for the sake of a few euro.

Has anyone any suggestions on whether or not to give a gift? Or for some sort of token gift that wouldn't be deemed 'scabby'? Any tips are much appreciated
 
There is no protocol or rule for this ,. Your know these people, I do not. I do not know, and no one on this website knows, if these people are aware that the wedding is costing you a lot of money and a present is not expected, or if they are mercenary enough to think bad of you for not getting one.

I personally think that if someone bears a grudge because they did not get a good enough wedding present, they are not your friends.

If you are unsure, buy a token gift and move on.
 
Um, thanks for your insight huskerdu....

If anyone has any ideas for a 'token gift' I'm open to hearing them. One idea I was thinking of was taking lots of pics of the families and friends throughout the weekend and making them into an album as a more informal memento than the official wedding pics. Buying crystal/wine glasses etc isn't a road I want to go down
 
Taking photos throughout the weekend seems like a nice idea and you could then do something like a photobook (which they are more likely to look at again, rather than a wedding album) and give it to them as their wedding gift later. It could be a nice reminder of their wedding, as I'm sure they will probably have a photographer for the formal wedding shots.

I recently got a photobook printed as a gift for a special occasion, and the person was delighted with it - I think it cost around €70, but you could check around for prices.

Another option might be to video parts of the weekend and transfer it to DVD for them? You could ask those attending to send a message to the happy couple and again, it could be a nice reminder of the wedding.

If neither of those options appeals and you still want to give them a gift, then you could always get them a One4All gift voucher or something, at least then they can get what they want.
 
I have gotten photobooks before on www.snapfish.ie and was very pleased with them, the ones I got were €30 or so. I have no connection with snapfish other than as a customer, after a big holiday I like to get one as a momento.
With regard to your query I know of a couple who put on the invites for their foreign wedding "your presence is present enough" I think it is outrageous putting expense on people to go abroad and then expect a present, although if they are doing it abroad to keep costs down then maybe they expect a cash present to help their cause. Only you know them enough to decide really what to do.
Personally I would get the photo book and consider myself a very good friend for attending the wedding abroad and spending all the cost associated with it.
 
Thanks for the advice - I think I'll go for the informal wedding album so. It should be a nice memento of the weekend
 
I have been to two weddings abroad. For one the couple stated on the invites that they did not want gifts, just peoples presence. About 6 of us went in together and got them a set of wine glasses.

For the second wedding the bride told her friends verbally that they did not want presents. The groom (our friend) asked people did they want his bank account details!!! We provided a service so didn't get him a present and I think the rest of the group heard her thoughts on gifts and forgot his, but I'm not sure.

I think that the right thing for a couple getting married abroad to do is state no gifts. If they don't state this then I think a token gift is ok. Wine glasses, photo frame, plant, vase etc.
 
As someone who got married abroad, we didn't expect a present because people were coming abroad for it (mind you, it cost less than weddings in Ireland have cost me).

I wanted to put it on the invite but anyone I mentioned this to said it might seem presumptuous/cynical/etc to put it on it even though we were saying people's presence was their present to us.

In the end, people gave us money so we made sure to put that to use making sure people didn't have to put their hands in their pockets while they were there....free bar when they arrived, free bar at the wedding, free food and drinks the day after.
 
bmcintyre said:
(mind you, it cost less than weddings in Ireland have cost me).
Click to expand...

They must be expensive weddings you are going to in Ireland. I've been to two weddings abroad and both cost me considerably more then any wedding in Ireland I have attended.
 
Oscaresque said:
They must be expensive weddings you are going to in Ireland. I've been to two weddings abroad and both cost me considerably more then any wedding in Ireland I have attended.
Click to expand...
The last wedding we were at in Ireland (Ballina) cost us more for travel and accommodation for one night than travel and accommodation for 3 nights has ever cost us to go to where we got married. My Dad got 9 nights in a nice hotel - breakfast included - where we got married abroad, for €240.
 
We have been invited to a wedding in Australia, we wont be going! I feel that we should send out with the Parents of the groom a card with Euro 50 approx in Aus $ is that too little?
 
Thanks for that. Dont really know the couple at all we would be friendly with the parents of the bride. Probably will give the $100.! I feel that is about euro 75, so that should be enough!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top