Separating, advice pls.

Neevis

Registered User
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Hi all, looking for some advice. Myself and my husband have begun the process of separating. I initially thought the equity on the house would be split equally in two, however I had my own house for 10 years before I sold it to buy with my husband and used the equity to buy our house. Does this mean if I was to buy him out I wouldn't have to give half of equity ? Trying to figure this out before I approach the bank. Thanks. M.
 
OP. My tuppence worth is as follows. Yes, you are best advised to not proceed until you've received formal legal advice.
However, if you and your husband are able to negotiate the outline of an agreement that works for you both you will likely be in a far better place both emotionally and financially at the end of the process when you will be best advised to have the agreement formalised.
If effective communication between you is difficult then you may be able to make progress with the assistance of mediation.
Should that not work for you I'm afraid you're headed for a lot of stress and added expense.
Take care of yourself, and take pause (and advice) before you agree or commit to anything you're not certain about.
Post #2 above illustrates just some of what you both will need to address in the overall process.
 
Hi all, thanks for the replies.
We've 3 children, both civil servants so similar pensions and about 10k savings. Similar incomes too about 60k each. About 200k left on the mortgage with 100k equity, just the one property.
Bank have said they'll lend me 280k but don't think that's enough. Tried mediation but wasn't clear on mortgages etc. Thanks again.
 
Just to check....is this the right forum for this kind of advice...wasn't sure.
 
Many of these types of questions are posted in AskAboutLaw.

You might be well advised to look at getting back to mediation first. There's a number of things that need to be settled. Primary concern is the children, where they will live, education etc., child maintenance, who will be their primary carer.

If you can't afford to buy out the other parties share right now, you could agree to each pay 50% of the mortgage for the next say 5 years and revisit the issue then. You'll have had time to (hopefully) save some money / get promotion / overtime, etc.,
 
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Thanks DannyboyD. I think my main concern at the moment is the possibility of buying him out. If that's a runner we can return to mediation to try agree on access etc. I hope not to sell the house but not sure how long we can both continue like this under the one roof. Appreciate the advice.
 
Hi all, thanks for the replies.
We've 3 children, both civil servants so similar pensions and about 10k savings. Similar incomes too about 60k each. About 200k left on the mortgage with 100k equity, just the one property.
Bank have said they'll lend me 280k but don't think that's enough. Tried mediation but wasn't clear on mortgages etc. Thanks again.
If the house is worth €300k and there's €100k in equity then how is mortgage approval of €280K not enough?
If you buy him out for €50k you'll need a total mortgage of €250k.
 
When did you both buy this house? What % of equity/amount did you put in v your husband?
Is there any way to extend or covert attic or add a shomera etc to make things more manageable in the medium term?
Has your husband said what he’d like or expect from a settlement?
Mediation most definitely can address the family home and maintenance issues etc if both parties are amenable
 
If the house is worth €300k and there's €100k in equity then how is mortgage approval of €280K not enough?
If you buy him out for €50k you'll need a total mortgage of €25

If the house is worth €300k and there's €100k in equity then how is mortgage approval of €280K not enough?
If you buy him out for €50k you'll need a total mortgage of €250k.

If the house is worth €300k and there's €100k in equity then how is mortgage approval of €280K not enough?
If you buy him out for €50k you'll need a total mortgage of €250k.
My mistake...we've about 100k each in equity so 200k in total. He hasn't said how much he would take and I think that's because he's not sure.
I suppose a solicitor might advise?
I'd be at my limit on 280k so couldn't afford much else. Feel stuck
 
When did you both buy this house? What % of equity/amount did you put in v your husband?
Is there any way to extend or covert attic or add a shomera etc to make things more manageable in the medium term?
Has your husband said what he’d like or expect from a settlement?
Mediation most definitely can address the family home and maintenance issues etc if both parties are amenable
Bought it in 2014. lm trying to figure out how much I put in, I would say I put 60k towards it and he got a gift of 20k to put towards it.
No room to extend unfortunately/no room for a seomra, we are stuck.
I'll revisit mediation when I figure out what I put into the house I suppose.
 
My mistake...we've about 100k each in equity so 200k in total. He hasn't said how much he would take and I think that's because he's not sure.
I suppose a solicitor might advise?
I'd be at my limit on 280k so couldn't afford much else. Feel stuck

So the mortgage outstanding is €100k?
So you’d need a max sole mortgage of €200k to buy him out?
 
Bought it in 2014. lm trying to figure out how much I put in, I would say I put 60k towards it and he got a gift of 20k to put towards it.
No room to extend unfortunately/no room for a seomra, we are stuck.
I'll revisit mediation when I figure out what I put into the house I suppose.

Yes, would be worth having those figures and maybe coming to an agreement that each party is ‘repaid’ then the balance of equity is shared

So house worth €300k, mortgage balance €100k, equity €200k
You’re repaid €60k, he’s repaid €20k. Balance €120k. So €60k each.
You’d need a mortgage of €180k to cover outstanding mortgage and amount to buy him out
 
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So house worth €300k, mortgage balance €100k, equity €200k
You’re repaid €60k, he’s repaid €20k. Balance €120k. So €60k each.
You’d need a mortgage of €180k to cover outstanding mortgage and amount to buy him out
Bought it in 2014. lm trying to figure out how much I put in, I would say I put 60k towards it and he got a gift of 20k to put towards it.
No room to extend unfortunately/no room for a seomra, we are stuck.
I'll revisit mediation when I figure out what I put into the house I suppose.

The house was bought jointly when you were married so who put what into it and who has repaid what is irrelevant.
 
Yes, would be worth having those figures and maybe coming to an agreement that each party is ‘repaid’ then the balance of equity is shared

So house worth €300k, mortgage balance €100k, equity €200k
You’re repaid €60k, he’s repaid €20k. Balance €120k. So €60k each.
You’d need a mortgage of €180k to cover outstanding mortgage and amount to buy him o

Yes, would be worth having those figures and maybe coming to an agreement that each party is ‘repaid’ then the balance of equity is shared

So house worth €300k, mortgage balance €100k, equity €200k
You’re repaid €60k, he’s repaid €20k. Balance €120k. So €60k each.
You’d need a mortgage of €180k to cover outstanding mortgage and amount to buy him out
Apologies...I wasn't clear.
House is worth 450k....mortgage left of 200k. I put in approx 60k and 20k from him. Bank reckons because of this I the equity would not be split.
 
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