Saw Child Verbally Abused in Shop

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By all means correct the child and if you have to shout or raise your voice when their safety is at stake then do so. But you wouldn't roar and shout curses at them. obviously when they get home have a chat and time out not in the car park.

i'm signing out of this thread it's getting ridiculous. it is not normal behaviour for a mom to shout and roar curses to a toddler. THE END
 
ubiquitous said:
How do use time out if your child...
... hits another child in a public place?
... runs off in a car park into the path of an oncoming car?
... grabs a glass jar in Tesco and flings it to the ground using full force?
... screams and screams and screams in a toyshop or cafe because you won't give them what they want?
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ubiquitous cursing at your child only makes matters worse, not better. The solution to all of the above in my unqualified opinion is to take the child (by catching them and picking them up), move away from the scene, and explain to them, in a calm rational voice, that what they did was not acceptable and why. To get excited yourself and curse abuse at your child is wholly unacceptable, I don't care what your excuse is. For the record yes I do have a child myself and yes I have been in a couple of the above scenarios with her. Sure she might not understand my rationale in the explanation but I believe it has had a better effect that cursing at her would have! By all means curse under your breath but never at your child.
 
Ceist Beag said:
ubiquitous cursing at your child only makes matters worse, not better. The solution to all of the above in my unqualified opinion is to take the child (by catching them and picking them up), move away from the scene, and explain to them, in a calm rational voice, that what they did was not acceptable and why. To get excited yourself and curse abuse at your child is wholly unacceptable, I don't care what your excuse is.
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It may not be ideal or acceptable to some people but is it really an offence worthy of taking down car registration numbers, being reported to the authorities, being investigated using CCTV etc...?

In my experience the "time out" and "calm rational explanation" approaches are all well and good in theory but not great in practice in many real life everyday situations. If some people always manage to employ them and never blow their top with their (or others'!) kids then fair play to them - they must be the eiptome of perfect parenting. However, like others here I have no problem admitting that I do not.
 
Ceist Beag said:
ubiquitous cursing at your child only makes matters worse, not better.
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Do you really think that I believe otherwise? :rolleyes: Of course swearing at a child is to be avoided wherever possible but very few of us are perfect parents and some of us react to situations in ways that we later regret. You are obviously one of those who are lucky enough to avoid this. Fair play to you.
 
I was trying to jump start the other halfs car last night as she'd left the lights on. Problem was it was parked in the drive and in order to jump it I'd have to move it out to beside my car. The other half was in the car attending to the handbrake and steering (as the drives on a little bit of a slope) as i attempted to push the car out. My little fella whos just over 4 seen Daddy doing "Fixing" and attempted to help. I repeatadly told him not to come near the car as there was a danger of it rolling backwards this didn't stop him so after about the third time I put him back in the house as he "couldn't do as he was asked". I thought that was the problem solved until about 20 seconds later I see the other half making a face at me as I was struggling to move the car. The little fella had come out of the house unseen and again attempted to push the car....With That I let an unmercyful scream at him to "GET AWAY FROM THE (Expletive deleted) CAR".

This would have been heard by neighbours and I wonder if They think I'm a bad parent or have reported me have been mentally abusing my son.

The bottom line is sometimes there's more to stuff than meets the eye or ear for that matter. If I had of witnessed what the OP mentions I'm unsure if I would have done something about it.

What I will say is you can be guaranteed that if it happend in packed supermarket and it was really abusive I believe someone would have made mention of the Adults behaviour strenght in numbers and all that.

I'd be enclined to let it go OP theres not much that will come out of you reporting it other than maybe to ease your own mind.
 
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It's very hard to do a time out in the face of an oncoming car and not being able to run after said child while holding a younger child. You have to shout at the top of your voice, in a very strong definative voice, cursing if necessary. There is no other way. Otherwise we are talking a seriously injured child. Has nobody seen what a toddler can do in a car park. I can't believe the perfect parents on here, I try to be the best I can and I watch all the TV programmes to help myself improve but really being reported to social services for shouting. Do people realise the real horror stories social service have to deal with.
 
ubiquitous said:
You are obviously one of those who are lucky enough to avoid this. Fair play to you.
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Never said I was perfect - course I lose it sometimes but I never ever swear at my child - it's one of those unwritten rules as far as I'm concerned. Shout at them yes ... swear at them never.
 
Ceist Beag said:
Never said I was perfect - course I lose it sometimes but I never ever swear at my child - it's one of those unwritten rules as far as I'm concerned. Shout at them yes ... swear at them never.
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I think that would be the same for most of the posters here.
 
I am not sure if it works but I read before that the best thing to do in these situations is to be non-confrontational and say something like
"Its tough being a parent these days, wouldn't kids drive you nuts" or "Isn't it hard work going shopping with kids".

Supposedly this will calm the situation and give the parent a reality check and some empathy. And at the same time the kid doesn't get a browbeating for embarassing the parent...
I doubt it would work well in all situations myself.
 
Ceist Beag said:
Shout at them yes ... swear at them never.
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There is arguably little difference to the child. I'd imagine that it's the disposition of the parent/adult that primarily registers with the child and not necessarily what exactly they are saying - expletives or not.
 
Teabag said:
I am not sure if it works but I read before that the best thing to do in these situations is to be non-confrontational and say something like
"Its tough being a parent these days, wouldn't kids drive you nuts" or "Isn't it hard work going shopping with kids".

Supposedly this will calm the situation and give the parent a reality check and some empathy. And at the same time the kid doesn't get a beating for embarassing the parent...
I doubt it would work well in all situations myself.
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So best practice is not doing nothing at the time, taking down the car registration number, posting on a public discussion forum and then ruminating over contacting various statutory and other authorities? Well I never...
 
ubiquitous said:
Hang on a second.

None of this is about beating children.

Neither is it is about punishing children for embarrassing parents.
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Relax yourself Ubiquitous...I was thinking more of a brow-beating.....I am terribly sorry.....
 
ClubMan said:
There is arguably little difference to the child. I'd imagine that it's the disposition of the parent/adult that primarily registers with the child and not necessarily what exactly they are saying - expletives or not.
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Are you basing this on any research or just your own hunch?
 
Havealaugh said:
Interesting link here -

http://www.heptune.com/tantrum.html
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[SIZE=+1]If the child throws a tantrum in public, carry him out of the public area if possible, and take him to a place where you can have some privacy. The best place to take him is to the car, where he can be buckled into his car seat. Then you stand near the car or sit in the car and wait it out without reacting to the tantrum. [/SIZE]
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... all the while hoping that there are no do gooders lurking in the vicinity ready to record your car registration and report you for abuse/neglect/forceful restraint ...
 
ClubMan said:
If the child throws a tantrum in public, carry him out of the public area if possible, and take him to a place where you can have some privacy. The best place to take him is to the car, where he can be buckled into his car seat. Then you stand near the car or sit in the car and wait it out without reacting to the tantrum. When the tantrum subsides, talk to the child about his behavior, and then return to your activities.
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I believe that's pretty much what I said. Clubman obviously I'd argue and imagine differently to your stance - in fact I'd be willing to bet any experts in this field would back up my view that there is a big difference between cursing as you shout at a child or not cursing. Likewise I'd imagine there is a big difference between insulting a child when you lose your temper versus simply telling them off - another line you shouldn't cross in my book.
 
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