Roughly how long does it take to get an amicable separation

I don’t have easy answers, this is obviously a nuanced and complex situation - made extra complex due to housing crisis. But when a father comes on AAM saying he wants out of the family home and to avoid paying child support or maintenance.... at least for the first few years ... with the excuse that the mother “agrees,” that absolutely warrants a serious challenge.
As already pointed out, if a mother said she wanted to walk away from her child and dodge financial responsibility, we all know exactly how that would land.
In a respected forum such as AAM, we can’t let something like that pass without holding it up to proper scrutiny.
I wish this family the very best of luck.
 
The big missing piece of information here (unless I've missed it) is what is the amount of equity in the house that the father is giving up. The mother may well view that as a fair amount in lieu of maintenance and sharing out pensions etc. If the starting point is 50/50 split of assets then the father could be giving up a significant amount and OP has stated that the mother is happy to move on as she is in a good position earnings wise. Instead of bashing the father there might be an argument that the mother is coming out with a home with a manageable mortgage while the father on lesser income is going to be stuck in rented accommodation going forward with no hope of affording a house and facing all sorts of issues at retirement. These cases are usually not black and white but one thing to note is that it is very hard to get a mediated agreement through the court without getting solicitors involved. Judges have to look out for all parties being properly provided and they're generally happier to do that if its gone through the solicitor battle and unfortunately that costs.
 
@mt1975, you seem to be looking at this from a largely or purely financial transactional point of view, but there's the very important issue of a child of the marriage in the mix here that needs consideration, or, indeed, prioritisation.
 
ClubMan said:
@mt1975, you seem to be looking at this from a largely or purely financial transactional point of view, but there's the very important issue of a child of the marriage in the mix here that needs consideration, or, indeed, prioritisation.
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I'm on a site called askaboutmoney so yes the main focus is on the financial side of things and that's all the information that is given. The child is going to end up staying in the family home with the parent with the higher income and it is stated that the mother can afford to maintain the child. The child won't have to move away from school or friends. I can't see any better outcome for the child and its possible that's why they have all agreed to this outcome. If the father goes to a lawyer he will push him into demanding half of the equity in the house and half of the mother's pension and the mother's lawyer will push back and look for maintenance. They'll be fighting with each other for years and racking up legal bills and the child will be stuck in the middle of it all. It sounds like they are splitting amicably which is one of the most important things for the child. I would think that they should work through as many of the issues with a mediator as possible. I'm not sure they'll get all the way to divorce based on that but at least they'll be sitting together discussing the issues with an independent voice rather than a lawyer in each corner of the ring and they definitely don't worry about the children.
 
ClubMan said:
Not my experience.
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Definitely mine and understandable too. They fight for the person who's paying them and try to get them the best deal. Mediator in my experience puts kids front and central probably because they realise that parents are more likely to agree on whats best for the kids.
 
Keep this thought front & foremost:

"The" child is in fact your son or daughter.

And one day, please god, you'll be clapping loudly at their graduation / beaming with pride as they get married / welcoming home a new grandchild.

Stuff doesn't matter, when you die most of it will end up in landfill or a charity shop.

People matter.
 
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