Revisiting Maintenance agreement

S

Shunter

Registered User
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Jus t looking for opinions on what is fair amount to now agree with ex as new year and changes in finances. Won't mention current agreement which is agreed by 2 parties and no legal involved. Ex lives in house with 3 children.
Child 1. 6th Yr LC student.
Child 2. 1st Yr College student (Earns 1K) a month
Child 3 2nd Yr college student. (Earn 1K) a month

We have joint savings in account for college fees which is paid each year to colleges and will pay for all fees for the 4 yrs in college.

We pay 50% each for Child 1 clothes, concert tickets, school books etc. Also we pay 50% eg if new fridge, Cooker,needed
Child 2 & 3 both have earnings of 1K a month from P/T Jobs and pay for their own clothes, concert tickets,bus pass,fone credit etc

Per Month
EX : Net Salary 3,400 + CB 140
Total Net 3,540

Outgoings
Food Shop 1,000
Utility's 600
Mortgage 440
Total E2040

Net after outgoings E1500

Father Net Salary 3,400
Rent & Food 500 a month
Net 2,900
 
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If you were able to agree maintenance between you before, what is stopping you renegotiating it now?

I post the same thing over and over in response to this question.

Child maintenance is based on both parties income and outgoings.

Whose finances have changed? By how much?

Edit to fix typo
 
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Thirsty said:
If you were able to agree maintenance between you before, what is stopping you renegotiating it now?

I post the same thing over and over in response to this question.

Child maintenance is based on both parties income and outgoings.

Who's finances have changed? By how much?
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The reason why I posting here is this is first time in 3 years that we disagree so I wanted to put it out there and see other opinions who might have experience in this matter. I want to be open minded that maybe I am been not fair in new proposal.
There has been financial changes in last year so I feel that should be reflected . Daughter 2 now completely along with daughter 1 are self efficient for clothes,bus tickets,social life, getting nails done etc that not the case in 2019 and 2020 only child 1 was self sufficient but i chose not to change payment . Ex also got raise that nets her E300 a month.
I do pay BIK on Health care for all 5 people and for EX and 3 children it cost me E1300 a year after tax credits plus E700 a month cash, now I suggested E450 cash plus BIK on Health care. So I would stop paying E808 per month and now pay E541 a month which includes Health care.
Which equates to about 26.5% of total out goings of 2,040. Also will pay 50% of child one clothes,social life until she gets part time job when she goes to college. If total outgoings of 2040 is divided by 4 x 3 it is E1,530 for 3 children so actually I give 35% which seems more than fair thinking I don't have house to call my own and all that comes with that.
I do not have independence of having a home that I can invite people over when I want as I share house I live in with 3 other people.
NB: I have always offered to swap duties and I would not look for maintenance of her but is a non runner.
 
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Ok, so one of you wants to change the current child maintenance.

Same question, whose financial position has changed and by how much?

Once your children are 18 (or 23 if in full time education) your legal obligation to maintain them ends. From what you have posted that is only a few years away.

Again, child maintenance is based on both parents income and outgoings; children's part time jobs are not included as parental income.

The maximum that can be ordered in District court is €150 per week per child (this figure hasn't changed in decades).

Anything over that is a matter for the high court.

I'm not a fan of arrangements to pay for X% of school books, or fridges or whatever. It's impossible to keep track or budget and someone always feels hard done by.

A flat weekly or monthly sum is preferable.

Shunter said:
...would not look for maintenance of her but is a non runner.
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From what you have posted, you are in employment; so I don't see how you could claim spousal maintenance.

Edit to add: I'm totally confused with your references to Benefit in Kind and healthcare costs.

If you are paying BIK, then your employer is paying the health insurance, not you?
 
You mention in your first post that there was "no legal involved".

Does that mean that you have no legal separation agreement / judical separation in place?

Do you intend to apply for a Divorce?

What agreement have you come to in regards to the family home?
 
Thirsty said:
Ok, so one of you wants to change the current child maintenance.

Same question, whose financial position has changed and by how much?

Once your children are 18 (or 23 if in full time education) your legal obligation to maintain them ends. From what you have posted that is only a few years away.

Again, child maintenance is based on both parents income and outgoings; children's part time jobs are not included as parental income.

The maximum that can be ordered in District court is €150 per week per child (this figure hasn't changed in decades).

Anything over that is a matter for the high court.

I'm not a fan of arrangements to pay for X% of school books, or fridges or whatever. It's impossible to keep track or budget and someone always feels hard done by.

A flat weekly or monthly sum is preferable.



From what you have posted, you are in employment; so I don't see how you could claim spousal maintenance.
I not asking to claim spousal maintenance not sure why you said that.

Edit to add: I'm totally confused with your references to Benefit in Kind and healthcare costs.

If you are paying BIK, then your employer is paying the health insurance, not you?
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Yes job pays Health Insurance but I pay taxes as BIK is taxed the same way as salary but can claim Medical credits which reduces tax liability
 
Thirsty said:
You mention in your first post that there was "no legal involved".

Does that mean that you have no legal separation agreement / judical separation in place?
We informed revenue and sent proof of same but never engaged in solicitors

Do you intend to apply for a Divorce? Yes but further down the line when education of children is finished.

What agreement have you come to in regards to the family home?
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As long are children in education house will not be sold so that is in place until at least 2025. If and when sold 50% split
 
Ok so you do have an agreement of some sort in place.

Other than tax credits, Revenue have no part to play here.

Legally you are both still married.

I don't see from your post that you are currently contributing to the mortgage; does your agreement on the house sale take this into account?

My understanding from your post is that you want to pay less child maintenance.

I think your current arrangement is confusing at best.

My recommendation would be for both of you to complete and swap a full statement of income & outgoings.

If the older children are earning some part time cash, well and good, I'm all in favour, but its not parental income.

I would look to structure a fixed payment, per child, per month. No more, some of this and a bit of that.

Then as each child finishes education / turns 23, the amount can drop down automatically without having to renegotiate every time.

If your employer pays the family's health insurance; you can list the BIK as an expenditure on your balance sheet. You should check the cut-off age where your employer stops paying health insurance for the children.

If the eldest isn't there yet, they soon will be; what do you plan to do then?
 
Thirsty said:
Ok so you do have an agreement of some sort in place.

Other than tax credits, Revenue have no part to play here.

Legally you are both still married.

I don't see from your post that you are currently contributing to the mortgage; does your agreement on the house sale take this into account?

My understanding from your post is that you want to pay less child maintenance.

I think your current arrangement is confusing at best.

My recommendation would be for both of you to complete and swap a full statement of income & outgoings.

If the older children are earning some part time cash, well and good, I'm all in favour, but its not parental income.

I would look to structure a fixed payment, per child, per month. No more, some of this and a bit of that.

Then as each child finishes education / turns 23, the amount can drop down automatically without having to renegotiate every time.

If your employer pays the family's health insurance; you can list the BIK as an expenditure on your balance sheet. You should check the cut-off age where your employer stops paying health insurance for the children.

If the eldest isn't there yet, they soon will be; what do you plan to do then?
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That all makes sense but it be curious what people think is fair amount in his current situation. No right or wrong.
 
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There is no right / wrong / fair / unfair; parents need to come up with the solutions that work for them.

Edit: I'll correct myself here. The only "wrong" is to fail to support your children.
 
I had chat with a guy from work who stated below to me as he was in similar place and salary's are quite close to mine and ex.

If not legal then most important is not to fall out and cause unnecessary fighting. Rule of thumb ,
If Food shop is 800 a month then eg take if your ex lived alone she would pay 300 monthly shop so taking that then what is left is 500 which should be split 50%. So you pay 250E foods shop a week.
Same if Gas & Electric was eg 240 a month what would it be if ex lived alone say say 100 then 140 is left to be split 50%. Your ex should really take her own costing out and then , So you pay Gas & Electric 70E.
Mortgage/mortgage insurance 50% each is what we do. Any direct for children Netflix, BB, GOMO, Spotify
 
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Again, child maintenance is based on both parents income and outgoings; start there.

Edit to add, as this point seems to be misunderstood time and again.

Child maintenance is not constructed from the child's "costs".

It is your child's 'share', for want of a better expression, of your income.

If you have a larger income, your children get the additional benefit of that income. The same is true if your income falls through illness etc., the budget will have to fall accordingly.

You are paying 50% of mortgage costs; effectively this works as an investment for you. Make sure you pay it separately so you have a record of payment when it comes time to sell.
 
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