Parenting tips

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sandrat

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I saw a woman dip her child's soother in the water at a petrol station used for cleaning windscreens after it fell on the ground in the forecourt. Wonder was she trying to get the child to stop using the soother?

Anyone else got useful parenting tips?
 
TOP TIP:

FAO: some parents:

When you and your kids are in other peoples houses, your children do not automatically cease to become your responsibility when you walk through the door. Just because the potentially dangerous objects/areas in the house belong to me doesn't mean the kids do as well. :rolleyes:
 
TOP TIP 2:

FAO Inner city parents.

When you want to cross a busy city centre street, please do not use the buggy/child as a device to stop traffic. Some day you will push the child out into oncoming traffic and it wont stop in time. Please use the pedestrian crossings.
 
TOP TIP

Apparently you CANNOT give them back ( who knew?!).

So have a bit of fun with them to break the misery...letting them loose in your (childless) friends houses, play russian roulette with the buggy/road dance, and play silly buggers with other peoples minds by, say, dipping their soother in inappropriate liquids ( washer fluid WAS a good one all right, but try freaking people out by dipping them in, say brandy or the likes for added effect). Hey, no one ever said having kids would be easy but you might as well milk the situation.;)
 
TOP TIP Any liquid decanted to a baby bottle automatically loses it's harmful properties.

So, go on, fill up those baby bottles and sucky cup containers with high-sugar 'fruit juice' , Coca Cola, etc. and let the little darlings guzzle away to their heart's (and teeth's) content, with no downside.
 
csirl said:
TOP TIP 2:

FAO Inner city parents.

When you want to cross a busy city centre street, please do not use the buggy/child as a device to stop traffic. Some day you will push the child out into oncoming traffic and it wont stop in time. Please use the pedestrian crossings.
Click to expand...


Errr not sure that this is a problem with only 'inner city' parents. Were you referring to a city in particular?
 
Top Tip

When your child is coughing and sneezing & especially has a massive permanent flow of snot (the greener the better - but yellow will also suffice!) ... running from nose to their upper lip...then be sure to have them go to someone else's table in the restaurant and stand right there looking up at the strangers for amusement!
 
ninsaga said:
Top Tip

When your child is coughing and sneezing & especially has a massive permanent flow of snot (the greener the better - but yellow will also suffice!) ... running from nose to their upper lip...then be sure to have them go to someone else's table in the restaurant and stand right there looking up at the strangers for amusement!
Click to expand...

Or allow them wander around supermarkets with the quite obviously infectious whooping cough ................
 
Be sure and threaten your kids with the harmless looking shop assistant if they start to play up in public. Something along the lines of "if you don't stop messing around, that lady there will tell you off/throw you out" should suffice.
 
Make sure to update your friends, childless or otherwise, about the frequency, colour and consistency of your child's poo.
 
TOP TIP.

If you receive a wedding invitation that specifically says 'no children', please make sure to bring them along to show the 'child free' guests what they're missing :)
 
Books for your kids that never quite made it to market:

Why cant Mr. Fork and Mrs. Power Socket be friends

You're different, and thats bad

(there was a load more, I can only remeber those 2)
 
Like these Betsy??!!:D

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
 
Upstihaggity said:
Like these Betsy??!!:D

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Click to expand...
LOL brilliant... I love number 21 :)
 
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