Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Non-financial Questions' started by Susie2017, Jan 7, 2018.
You'll have lots to worry about between now and when they're old enough for games consoles!
Like what Red onion ? . By the way cremegg that's a great article from the Guardian. Thanks for posting it. Couldn't agree more with it. Anti depressants are not the answer yet we use them so much. Drug companies making a fortune. Psychiatrists will get richer. Still think gaming is addictive though....don't fancy the hassle with these machines.
if this is your concern, then perhaps you are right to avoid the Xbox
18year olds can behave like this for many reasons. I would suggest that the relationship had issues beyond gaming.
I'd agree, just don't buy them. Like drink or fast food, you can't stop them from getting it elsewhere, but you don't have to supply it.
There you go again, making invalid assumptions based on zero evidence or insight. The issue under discussion has had no direct impact on me, my children, or grandchildren or others in my extended family. I have however seen at first how gaming addiction has devastated adolescents and their families. The only one closing their ears and disputing the dangers of gaming for young minds seems to be you.
The ICD-10 and DSM are used extensively by medics in Ireland, the HSE and the WHO for disease diagnosis, classification and reporting and for treatment plan formulation. This has been the case for many years.
I would avoid consoles as long as you can.
I didn't mean that there are things you should be worrying about, but more this shouldn't be on the list! My own children are pre-school, and games consoles haven't even crossed my mind. At a push I might consider a Wii for family events when they're 9, but an actual console is for when they're in 2nd level.
Whatever you decide, it's important that both parents agree on. I've seen friends where dad uses the kids as an excuse to okay FIFA all the time.
By the way, I'm in my mid 30's, and I grew up without a TV. Best decision my parents ever made. Don't but into the whole idea that your kids will be bullied if you don't have a console. Kids can be assholes, and I was bullied for several reasons, but never because we didn't have a TV.
Personally I'm much more in favour of allowing access, controlling same and educating the kids along the way, rather than an outright ban. As I said already, we limit the time spent on consoles (or devices) but we also make a point of highlighting poor behaviour when we witness it (usually when we're trying to get them to turn off the consoles/devices!). I absolutely agree that children do display signs of addiction with these things but personally I think it's better to make them aware of this, educate them how it is not something we or they should allow to become a problem and hopefully some of that sinks in and they get a better understanding of the signs themselves. I think an outright ban is too harsh and suggests that you don't think you can manage the situation but as a parent you should always be in charge and your kids should know this. Of course there will be rows along the way and there are times I want to throw the console out the window too!
My next concern is how to manage online gaming, which as I said isn't an issue for us yet, but I'd like to be prepared for it if/when it does come along so that we can manage it.
FWIW to the OP, as your kids are still in pre-school I think there is plenty of time to think about this yet. In our case the children were around 7 or 8 I think before we introduced a console (and as others have said, we don't allow any violent games, only things like Harry Potter or FIFA).
Gaming can be addictive for some people but not for most. The same goes for alcohol and even soft drugs; for most people a joint is a gateway drug to pizza but for some it will destroy their life.
I agree with RedOnion, you are over thinking this way before you have to deal with it.
By the time your kids are getting to that age it will all be VR and we'll think back fondly about GTA and our young people playing games where the worst thing you could do was shoot a prostitute.
"Outright ban" - no one is suggesting that gaming be banned. To do that you'd have to prevent your children from going to a friends house where they had them. But like junk food, you don't have to buy it.
That really is the nub of it, and I'd imagine most parents would know their children well enough by that age to have seen the warning signs. There have been numerous documented gaming deaths, mostly in Asia and involving older adolescents or people in their 20's and even early 30's. Some of these people played for days on end without even stopping to eat!
Or a cop, unfortunately in this case in real life!
Yes. I might be overthinking it but it's quite a real problem at the moment for a relative of mine who is only 10 years old. It's used every day and night, full days at weekends to the extent that the young man doesn't even bother getting dressed. He is 10 and the excuse used by mammy is that he will cut back when he goes to secondary as he will have more homework to do. Mammy is too busy working or on Facebook herself so it appears to be a lifestyle choice. I just don't want the same for my kids.
The problem there is clearly with the mammy, not the child.
The issue I have with all technology etc is that you can ration it from the eldest child but when they eventually get at it, the younger ones inevitably get it then too.
We never let our eldest watch TV until he he was 4 or thereabouts. But his sibling was 2 by then so thats the age he started watching.
I fear the same for when we get a proper console. Right now we have an old gamecube with just Mariokart on it. It's fairly limited but the 2 eldest (7 and 5) are mad about it though they only get it for about 2 hours a week. But already I can see how it impacts their behaviour in terms of temper(when it's time to turn it off or if 1 of them loses to the other or their Daddy!), excitement, lack of patience etc. It's been quiet scary in that aspect.
That's what we do as well. No consoles in our house.
We have 2 kids and I have no doubt if we had bought games consoles they would be spending too much time on them. Like any kids they fight, but most of the time they just play with each other, be it monopoly, fussball or reading or out in the garden knocking around with a ball.
It's lovely to hear them playing "properly" and doing the whole role acting thing.
OP, if you don't have one already, I would highly recommend a good trampoline. Best thing we ever bought.
Thanks Firefly. Good to hear from a parent who has resisted the peer pressure. The mother im talking about says they all have them therefore its cruel for them not to have them they will feel 'left out'. I dont buy into this. Do you get any negative vibes from other parents about not having one ? I like the idea of a trampoline but would worry about injuries !
As my own mother used to tell me, the most difficult word for a parent to tell their children is "no". We had "the chat" with our kids regarding games consoles and tablets and to be fair to them they haven't asked for them again.
It's funny as at around the same time our eldest began to read on her own. I have no doubt that if we had gotten a console she would not be the reader she is today.
When it comes to books and reading in our house we have a simple rule. The kids can ask for any book they like and it will be bought for them (not out of their pocket money) as long as they commit to reading it.
Not really, it's not something that I would bring up to be honest.
The only injuries we've had on our trampoline were at the very beginning - Archimede's principle! And when other kids come round and are not used to trampolines. They are great though. Our two bounce away for ages!
I am staggered at the way this conversation has unfolded.... The one-sided nature of it and the hyperbolic hand-wringing over the immense threat to the sanctity of happy and content family life utterly bewilders me.
I would also contend that there is an element of 'fear of the unknown' at play here as some of the apprehension, invention, fear-mongering and dissension is so grievously and utterly misplaced.
I'm in my early 40s now but alongside a lifelong penchant for the voracious consumption of books, a solid academic past to honours degree level and a full and varied social and sporting life I have always enjoyed the pleasant diversion and pastime afforded by computer and console gaming.
I started in the 80's with 'Pong' hooked up to a TV then an Atari 2600, 8086 PC (led directly to a lifelong interest in computing and a solid profession that I enjoy), skip through numerous generations/iterations of PC to Nintendo 64, PS2, Xbox 360 and currently a PS4.
What this odd thread has neglected to consider are the myriad of beneficial aspects to gaming. This is fun, pleasant and engaging pastime that requires concentration, consideration, planning, coordination, problem-solving, analytical breakdown of complex situations, evaluation of approach, correcting poor endeavor, dexterity, memory, communications, teamwork (in the event of playing with friends) empathy, reasoning - I could go on and on.....
All of my children are avid gamers and they are also socially adept, well-balanced, pleasant, charming and ultimately, happy little individuals (with the odd bit of usual badness as we all do!!). I've never seen the rage, malevolent sleep-cycles, satanism or blood-letting that this daft thread bleakly forewarns and should I ever see a child of mine struggle with their own mental health for any reason I will hopefully have the perspective and judgement to get them the help they need rather than pointing accusingly in histrionics at an incidental games console.
By the tone of this breathless and mindlessly paranoid thread I know it has escaped some that there are charming well-constructed and imaginatively written games - Its not all mindless violent shooting and swinging axes at orcs.
By the way typically my children must complete their homework and do their few token household jobs before being allowed to play and then they are asked to finish up after an appropriate period of time has elapsed at which point they read, play a mutlitude of sports, build with lego or draw charming pictures etc.
Finally a sincere word of caution to parents out there - There are certain children who may at certain times struggle emotionally and socially - they may not make friends easily or get picked for the team, ever, school might be tough to get through at certain times etc. Very often these kids are drawn to alternative outlets such as computer games and mystical magical board games etc. In the same way as you wouldn't grab a book from their hands and throw it in the fire please be aware that banning and censoring console or computer games risks simply closing another door on these kids out of pure ignorance and lazy, misinformed apathy.
*** Oh & I meant to mention earlier - Have any of you anti-gaming pulpit-bashers ever sat and passed a pleasant hour playing an age-appropriate game with your child? It can be a lovely thing.
Perhaps you need to read the thread again? Up to now there was a lot more balance and a lot less hyperbole that you seem to be suggesting.
So, can you point at the posts you consider breathless and mindless?
And who are the anti-gaming pulpit-bashers?
Leo, I said "mindlessly paranoid" and I aimed that at the tone of the conversation as a whole and not at anyone in particular in an insulting way.
Come on please? If Mammy or Daddy goes into Smyths and buys little Johhny and Mary a games console they are going to turn into crazed, addicted, under-performing, wall-punching drones?
The tone of the thread was very one-sided on the whole 'gaming is evil' vein, I very strongly disagreed with this sentiment and expressed this view - Surely balanced discussion is to be encouraged & I'm sure others will be along to share their own views in the fullness of time.....
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