One of lifes great secrets - keeping your trousers on!

[Firefly]

No..they just want happy parents..so it is the parents responsibility.
Kids living under the same roof as two unhappy parents as opposed to kids having parents under different roofs but are happy ,would be in a much better position.IMHO.

What I meant was that kids want happy parents under one roof. All attempts should be done to meet this rather than giving up easily. I agree that seperated parents who are both happy is better for the kids than 2 parents under the same roof who are miserable.

 

[liaconn]

No they dont and also there was a lot of 'keeping a front for the neighbours but hell breaking loose behind closed doors' in that particular situation - the youngest was worst affected simply by dint of being the one longest living at home through out it all.

Well, in that case it was obviously two people who were miserable together and who were unable to hide it from their children. I can understand how, in that situation, it is 'better for the children' to split up.

What I don't agree with is someone just deciding that their marriage has become 'boring' or they don't 'fancy' their partner anymore and leaving for someone else with young children involved.

 

[Betsy Og]

How about this for a theory, most marriages will go through periods of ambivalence, where either or both spouse could take or leave it, staleness, boredom etc etc, it might feel like it'll be that way forever, it might actually be that way forever. But my suspicion is that not enough people make the effort to try to get over that hump, they throw in the towel too quick, or that for selfish reasons look beyond the marriage for a bit of excitement, as stoicism is not something which is prized in todays society (though it might be for the overall good of the family).

They probably could go through the motions if they wanted (pretend they love their spouse - dont forget most of us will do this from time to time as we're not sure our heart is in it), but they dont bother.

 

[truthseeker]

Its just not possible to have an exciting marriage all the time or to fancy the other person all the time - it just wouldnt be reality!

 

[Firefly]

I just don't think that a lot of people think things through before committing to long term commitments. People rush into marriages, rush into having children, don't plan for their kids education, don't plan for their own retirement etc. It sounds dull and it probably is, but having the big things in life planned makes things a lot easier. Of course situations can change, but if something genuinely doesn't work out at least you know you did your best and made adult/mature choices.

 

[thedaras]

Similar to my parents situation, I was the youngest and all my sisters and brothers upped and left!! So it was me left to deal with it all,the rest got out of there as soon as they could!Dont blame them though..