not making ends meet and can't cope

Discussion in 'Mortgage arrears & negative equity case studies' started by ggirl, May 31, 2011.

  1. ggirl

    ggirl Registered User

    I would really appreciate any advice here please. I am 35, single, on interest only with my mortgage lender as I wasnt making ends meet after a large pay cut in January and I still am not coping. Over the last two months I have missed countless direct debits which I have mostly caught up with by robbing Peter to pay Paul ie missing another one to pay the last missed one. I owe family and friends money (about 1000 to friends and 3000 to parents after en extended unpaid sick period from work last year), have a credit union loan (c 3,300) and bank loan (2,460). I have no credit card anymore (bank loan was got to partly pay that off).
    Total debts:
    Mortgage 182000
    CUnion 3300
    Bank 2460
    Family etc 4000 (no one putting me under pressure but I feel awful about oweing them)
    I get paid weekly and just don't seem to be able to cope financially anymore. Also, I have a mental illness and the stress is making me ill again. It is currently almost 3am and I haven't slept a wink. I feel sick constantly cos I can't make ends meet. I have reduced my tv & phone packages to cheap options, sourced cheaper car and house insurance, pay my tv licence with stamps, get my groceries on special when they have been reduced etc. I have gone through every bill and cant see a way of cutting back anymore (I have medical expenses which don't help but my parents are now helping with my VHI and my amazing doctor is not asking for a fee anymore, I am very lucky in some ways yet I still can't manage). I am at the point where on a Thursday I take out 100 euros when I get paid and that has to cover petrol, groceries, my (low cost) therapy (only a tenner and vital for my recovery) and general living expenses. I don't drink or smoke (couldnt even if I wanted to) and just can see no way to further cut back. I have read about Credit Union budget accounts and wonder if one might help me? I am desperate. Right now I just want to close my eyes and make the fear and panic go away forever. Please somebody help.
  2. bullworth

    bullworth Frequent Poster

    Get rid of the TV and TV licence. Replace with the internet which you already have. You can watch anything you want on there anyway. Keep your mobile phone on prepaid but get rid of the landline if you have one. If you need to make calls use Skype.

    Keep the house insurance but do you really need a car ? Why not get a bicycle or even a moped instead which is much cheaper to run ?

    Maybe you can buy clothes etc in good condition second hand on ebay or in second hand stores. If your washing machine breaks down or if you have laundry bills perhaps you could hand wash in a bathtub or sink instead reducing your electricity bill too? Previous generations did that all the time. I hope things get better for you. I know its not easy. Maybe theres some way you can make extra money part time ? Do you have any idea how much negative equity you are in ?

    Dont' beat yourself up about that. Many people have insomnia and function pretty well. Just try to be as positive as possible. Keep yourself strong so you can help yourself.
  3. horusd

    horusd Frequent Poster

    ggirl being worried and anxious about debt is perfectly normal and you are not alone.

    But anxiety at this level isn't going to help you solve the problem. And it's this anxiety that you need to address as a priority as your health is more important than your finances, and you will be best able to solve it by being less anxious. Asking for help here is a good start. Have you a support network? Can you discuss this with a trusted friend? Do you need to talk with your GP?

    Also, can you break down the debts and repayments and income using the standard AAM format so that you can get a better handle on the problem and get the best advice here?
  4. niceoneted

    niceoneted Frequent Poster

    Might I suggest that you fill in teh money makeover section which can be found here -

    We have no idea what you are earning so it is hard to know where the money can go or should be directed.

    I know easier said than done but don't allow this to take over your mind. The debt is not that much and you might just need to structure longer payments rather than feel it needs to be paid right now.
    Exercise is great for helping to keep the mind healthy so get out walking or the likes.
  5. Guest105

    Guest105 Guest

    Make an appointment with MABS, tell them you are feeling very stressed and they will probably arrange to see you immediately.