Noisy children

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Thanks for all your replies. It's actually good to hear opinions from different angles as I am sure you will all agree it is very hard to be 100% objective when one is emotionally involved in a situation.

I guess, I could now point out that albeit formal, we have chosen a letter as a means of communication more to emphasize seriousness of our grief and allow recepient to perhaps read it twice rather than engage in emotional and possibly fueled by that moment's anger verbal encounter with the parent(s).

We have received a reply which states that we are the world's worst neighbours, that we are the ones bullying and intimidating children on our street and that they will keep doing as they please.

ETA. And they all know that our child is not bothered but we are only using him to torment our neighbours children.
 
Be very careful. This could escalate out of all proportion and if you think it's bad now, you could find it impossible if it gets worse.

I wish I could offer a solution, but all I have is sympathy. We had years of basketball going in our neighbours driveway, and give me a bunch of teens playing football over that any day! That thump, thump would drive you mad. The neighbours told us that we live in an estate and basically had to suck it up. They are the noisiest people I have ever heard, they shout rather than talk, their screaming house alarm has gone off on a regular basis, their dog has a hissy fit if someone is anywhere near their house, etc. etc.

As they are in an end house we are the only ones really badly affected by the noise, so we don't have the support of other neighbours. The only option open to us is to take them to court. But we have to live beside them and if we do that we don't know how much worse things could get.

So what I do is stay friendly with the other neighbours and live in hope for the day that I can "escape" my home to live somewhere else!

Would inviting some neighbours you get on with to come into your house to listen to the noise help?
 
I suspect the letter was read 15 times and you are now in danger of falling out with neighbours.

I'd call over and explain why you sent a letter/text. I see where you're coming from now that you've explained it but if you were on the receiving end of such a letter you would probably have reacted the same way.

I don't see a solution that you will like as their backs are up now.

Is there any way you could put the baby to bed later and have her(or is it a he) up earlier - the days are only getting longer now. I know it's sounds extreme but she won't always have to go to bed at 8. In a few years time hopefully she will be out playing basketball on a summers evening.

When I'm arriving home from work I love to see the kids out on the green having fun with their friends.
 
There was a similar situation in an estate I lived in, a few years ago. One person did ask the kids nicely to move away from her house, (her little fellow was a very poor sleeper due to health reasons) and in fairness, there was plenty of other space on the green. It didn't work, so she went to the parents, and asked them to get them to play elsewhere, and it was sorted amicably.
I hope that you can sort something out. As another poster said, I wish I had a solution, and you do have my sympathy.
 
Yachtie.

It's very difficult when there is a gang syndrome. Individually the children are no doubt fine.

Ultimately your privacy is being impacted upon. The children are looking in your windows and are acting in a manner that says they will rule outside your house. This is unacceptable behaviour.

Fifteen (15) basketballs bouncing outside your house? Baby or no baby this is an absolute disgrace and needs to be addressed. I doubt anybody could tolerate this level of noise outside any home. It was clearly orchestrated and a deliberate action to annoy you.

This bad behaviour truly beggars belief and I would say shame on the parents who would condone this bullying and anti-social behaviour.

You will have to be very strong to deal with this. Try not to let it upset you too much.

I don't have any answers but you will have to find a solution somehow to enable you to live peacefully in your own home.

I would try and appeal to the children's sense of what is fair. They really do have an innate sense of this. You mentioned that you spoke with one child. But it wasn't successful.

Is there an obvious leader to whom you might be able to make an appeal? There is always somebody to whom the others will defer.

Best wishes

Marion
 
Please no more notes, they just don't work

People read them many times and look at every sentance, word and comma
They see hidden messages where none exists and take offence where none was intended
They dwell and stew and read some more and by the time they meet you they've worked themselves up to be vexed

Face to face from now on
Works a lot better
 
You seemed to have escalated the brewing argument..
You called the Gardai! for kids..you have now escaleted it even more!
Now the parents have the Guards calling to their hall doors .
Then you get the residents association involved..



I would say that some of the parents would not be too bothered that you are upset, once you ,wrote letters,called the guards and got the residents association involved,and it appears they have succeeded!


Here is my advice for what its worth..
For example,People with very young children have no idea what its like to have a ten to teen..I have seen parents whose kids are babys and they boot up the roads in their cars,until..the day their kids need to go outside to play and suddenly they are all over everyone and anyone who goes faster than 10km.
They "forget" they did it for years themselves,and how it felt to others.

So lets look at things from their point of view,
Their kids were out playing,the sun has arrived,the kids are in their sights playing basketball,then they get a letter,then the Guards are called,then the residents association are informed.
Now you have got their backs up.

I would suggest that if you contuine to complain in the manner you have been,you will dread living there,and that is no solution,you may end up moving the kids,but the neighbours will despise you and make life a misery
It is wrong of them,but its almost garenteed that it will be nothing to do with you wanting a bit of peace and more to do with letters,Guards etc.They will become entrenched.
If I were you,I would look for a solution that will bring me some peace now and into the future,so how do you do this?
Firstly DO NOT escalate the situation..
If you are seen as a fair and reasonable person,it will stand to you.so dont go overboard.

The next time the kids are out playing,go out and play with them,bring one of your kids with you and let the other kids get to know them,pretend that you want them to show your little ones how great they are at basketball.
Then after a couple of nights ,say kids you know what little" johnnie" is sick,I think he will have to go to bed early tonight,but he loves you guys and wants to play with you,then ask them have they any ideas how you can get him to bed without wanting to play out with them?

There will always be one who will want to please you and they will suggest that they move a bit away,while you are trying to get "johnnie " to sleep.
You then go on to tell them how brilliant an idea that is,and what a great kid he is for helping out..

So what Im saying is,you are always better off making friends with them.
If the parents nose has been put out,you have a double problem,in that the parents will now actively encourage them to annoy you.However if the kids like you,they will be less inclined too.

It is always the case that those who like you,are less likely to want to upset you,the reverse is true also,that those who dislike you will want to upset you or at least not take your feelings into account.

In the past I have dealt with young couples moving into their lovly new homes with their lovly new kids,and wham ,a neighbours kid does something they dont approve of,the situation escalates,and now its the parent against parent,whereas the kids have forgotten all about it.

I understand the kids and the parents are being unreasonable but you have to fight this in such a way that you get the best outcome,if that means having to bite your tongue,having to let things go,overall you will be happier.
I hope this is of some use to you,I understand that as a parent with a young kid it is stressful and annoying,but you need to box clever and get your needs
met.
Failing that, when your kids are old enough,teach them to play basketball outside the exact same house/s that were prepared to make your life a misery!
 
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Marion said:
Yachtie.

It's very difficult when there is a gang syndrome. Individually the children are no doubt fine.

Ultimately your privacy is being impacted upon. The children are looking in your windows and are acting in a manner that says they will rule outside your house. This is unacceptable behaviour.

Fifteen (15) basketballs bouncing outside your house? Baby or no baby this is an absolute disgrace and needs to be addressed. I doubt anybody could tolerate this level of noise outside any home. It was clearly orchestrated and a deliberate action to annoy you.

This bad behaviour truly beggars belief and I would say shame on the parents who would condone this bullying and anti-social behaviour.

You will have to be very strong to deal with this. Try not to let it upset you too much.

I don't have any answers but you will have to find a solution somehow to enable you to live peacefully in your own home.

I would try and appeal to the children's sense of what is fair. They really do have an innate sense of this. You mentioned that you spoke with one child. But it wasn't successful.

Is there an obvious leader to whom you might be able to make an appeal? There is always somebody to whom the others will defer.

Best wishes

Marion
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+1 to everything that Marion has said. It is very easy to say 'it's nice to see them playing outside having fun with their friends...'. It is, but it is quite a different story if you are trying to get a child to sleep etc. I wish you the best OP, I hope that you can reach a solution.
 
AgathaC said:
+1 to everything that Marion has said. It is very easy to say 'it's nice to see them playing outside having fun with their friends...'. It is, but it is quite a different story if you are trying to get a child to sleep etc. I wish you the best OP, I hope that you can reach a solution.
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Children sleep in the middle of bustling cities, beside train tacks, beside airports, beside football stadiums, beside concert venues etc etc. Kids playing basketball at 8pm while probably annoying is hardly the best example of anti social behaviour I have heard of.

As for the kids with the 15 basketballs, I am amazed that around 15 kids just happened to have 15 basketballs. It also sounds like they did that once and they did it to wind you the OP up which obviously worked.

As long as they are not damaging your property or involved in serious incidents of anti social behaviour, I don't see what right you have to say who can and can't make noise out on the road just because your have a child. The Guards were right. Playing basketball is not disturbing the peace. Do you want to ban people cutting their grass after 8pm as well? Do you want to ban early morning rubbish collections?
 
Sunny said:
As long as they are not damaging your property or involved in serious incidents of anti social behaviour, I don't see what right you have to say who can and can't make noise out on the road just because your have a child.
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True but then the neighbours who own the hoop don't want it outside their house.

'Those' (the hoop owner) parents are the ones who don't want the racket in front of their front window as they have another child the same age as our boy.
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So they send the children down the street to Yachtie's house

Yachtie is complaining over something the other neighbours aren't willing to put up with either

If there is going to be basketball, let the owner have it outside their house.
 
micmclo said:
True but then the neighbours who own the hoop don't want it outside their house.



So they send the children down the street to Yachtie's house

Yachtie is complaining over something the other neighbours aren't willing to put up with either

If there is going to be basketball, let the owner have it outside their house.
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Yeah, fair enough. Sorry, I missed that bit of the story!
 
Wait until Championship season and the kids get hurls and sliotars

The local bodyshop will be doing a roaring trade with all the dents :eek:
 
Marion said:
Baby or no baby this is an absolute disgrace and needs to be addressed. I doubt anybody could tolerate this level of noise outside any home. It was clearly orchestrated and a deliberate action to annoy you.

This bad behaviour truly beggars belief and I would say shame on the parents who would condone this bullying and anti-social behaviour.

You will have to be very strong to deal with this. Try not to let it upset you too much.

I don't have any answers but you will have to find a solution somehow to enable you to live peacefully in your own home.
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This situation is shocking. Imagine, todays youths out playing sports on summers evening. What next boyscouts offering to cut your grass, or even worse those bloody birds out chirping. Why in my day youths were suspicious and inactive semi-zombies that slouched around street corners. I never took the time to think about how good we had it...

Another poster advised a move to the sticks; let me nip that one in the bud for you now; all these bloody wild animals keep making this "moo" and "baah" sound. then the owner has the cheek to drive in to the lovely fields with some noisy machinery. Let me tell you my letter writing skills were truely tested that day.

What is the world coming to? I'm away to lock my doors and peer nervously through the curtains. Good day.

Edit: And the question must be asked, how are the parents shelling out for Basketballs? There was a separate thread on people having kids without being able to afford them, I'd say this is a simmiliar set up, have the kids but can't afford to keep them inside curtailed by video games and television.
 
bullbars said:
This situation is shocking. Imagine, todays youths out playing sports on summers evening. What next boyscouts offering to cut your grass, or even worse those bloody birds out chirping. Why in my day youths were suspicious and inactive semi-zombies that slouched around street corners. I never took the time to think about how good we had it...

Another poster advised a move to the sticks; let me nip that one in the bud for you now; all these bloody wild animals keep making this "moo" and "baah" sound. then the owner has the cheek to drive in to the lovely fields with some noisy machinery. Let me tell you my letter writing skills were truely tested that day.

What is the world coming to? I'm away to lock my doors and peer nervously through the curtains. Good day.

Edit: And the question must be asked, how are the parents shelling out for Basketballs? There was a separate thread on people having kids without being able to afford them, I'd say this is a simmiliar set up, have the kids but can't afford to keep them inside curtailed by video games and television.
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Your contribution to the thread is appreciated as any other, even though it isn't helpful. We aren't, can't and shouldn't be all the same. This sitaution may be ridiculous to you while it's very upsetting and stressful to my family and it isn't up to you to judge our level of 'weirdness' and whether we are bothered by the bird song.

Weirdly enough, we really are bothered by deliberate congregation of a gang standing on the footpath and looking into our house to see if we are there and paying attention, or doing something to get our attention to then commence all kinds of racket just because we asked them not to and just because they can.

I played outside with my friends when I was a child but back in the day, our parents were a lot stricter and a neighbour complaining about you was the worst offence you could commit and it was frowned upon by other children too. There was a boy I went to school with and nobody ever wanted to play with him because he was a trouble maker and he would get not only himself but his rare playmates into trouble too which then reduced their 'street' popularity. Those days are clearly gone and as I have only this kind of mentality for a yardstick, I can't comprehend what's going on and consequently don't know how to deal with it.
 
We had a situation a good number of years ago where kids from the estate backing onto ours used to sit on the back wall and stare into the house, my mother giving out ensured there were more the next day and the day after.

Ignoring them was the only solution difficult as it was and annoying having your curtains closed on a summers day. They soon got bored and moved off to annoy someone else.
 
Situations like this can get out of control very very quickly.

Now, it seems that you have already escalated the situation to the extent of calling gardai so now you need to calm it all down a bit. I would suggest a reasonable conversation with the parents involved, explain the stress and hassle it's causing etc etc. Failing that, simply ignore these kids for the next short while, realistically they are going to get bored hassling you soon, furthermore the weather will change and we'll have rain for a few weeks and they will forget all about the basketball.

If you continue to go out and give out about and send letters, they will not forget about it. There is also a likelihood that you are now very sensitive to every little movement they make outside your front door and this has heightened both your sense of hearing and your anxiety. Chill out for a while, try not to let it get to you so much. Kids get bored quickly, at the moment you are the road 'grumps' we all had them when we were kids and we all hassled them with footballs etc - but it was never malicious it was just kids being kids and it sounds like this is the same kind of thing.
 
Sunny said:
As long as they are not damaging your property or involved in serious incidents of anti social behaviour, I don't see what right you have to say who can and can't make noise out on the road just because your have a child. The Guards were right. Playing basketball is not disturbing the peace. Do you want to ban people cutting their grass after 8pm as well? Do you want to ban early morning rubbish collections?
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Noise is well accepted as pollution, interesting the early morning rubbish collection does wake us up especially with the reversing alarm. Also you should consider that a lot of society is on shift worker for our convenience.
 
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