New will, divorced, one child is autistic

dubdub123

Registered User
Messages
441
1) Wills are temporary. You can update your will as circumstances change.

2) Avoid messy situations. A house owned by three people is messy. If that means excluding your eldest from the house, so be it. It sounds as if she does not need it.

In particular, it would be messy if two children own it jointly with their sister's widower.

3) What happens if you die tomorrow? Presumably the other parent will look after the two minor children?

4) I presume that there is some mechanism - a trust - whereby you can leave the house in trust to someone who might not be able to manage their finances themselves - so that the trustee looks after them and makes sure that they don't sell the house and buy Bitcoin with it.

Brendan
1) yes, absolutely, this will be my fourth or maybe fifth will to date
2) want to avoid that. Current will has each child equally receiving assets, but needs to be updated now as situations are changing
3) this is a good question. Ex is their guardian, however lives in different county and they dont want to move their. He could potentially move in with them to minimize any disruption
4) yes I think thats whats needed. I think its just stated in previous will that assets are held in trust, but id like to understand more what this means.
 

cremeegg

Registered User
Messages
3,895
I am divorced and recently moved house (this house is in my name only for mortgage and deeds)
All the discussion here is about the children's needs in the event of your death while they are still young. However you have not mentioned the mortgage. Is there insurance to pay it off on your death.
 

dubdub123

Registered User
Messages
441
All the discussion here is about the children's needs in the event of your death while they are still young. However you have not mentioned the mortgage. Is there insurance to pay it off on your death.

Yes there's a new mortgage protection policy in place to pay off this mortgage in the case of my death.
 

Homer

Registered User
Messages
432
Being told that one of your children is autistic is not something that any parent wants to hear, even if it something that you suspected might be the case. You have my sympathies. You are right to be thinking ahead, and I really think you need to get legal advice in relation to your will, particularly regarding your son.

The extent to which being on the autistic spectrum will impact on his life depends on a number of factors, including the extent to which he is neurodivergent and his overall level of ability. If he is severely impaired to the extent that it is unlikely that he will ever be able to function independently, then setting up a trust to look after his share of the estate is probably the best way forward. Having everything under trust would have tax implications for your other children and is probably not appropriate.

But you need to talk to a lawyer who fully understands the issues associated with having a child who is not capable of being independent and you also need to get a better understanding of the issues that your son is facing. There are various bodies providing assistance and guidance to people on the spectrum and their families and you should contact them. As your son is over 16, you should also check whether he might be able to claim Disability Allowance.
 

dubdub123

Registered User
Messages
441
Being told that one of your children is autistic is not something that any parent wants to hear, even if it something that you suspected might be the case. You have my sympathies. You are right to be thinking ahead, and I really think you need to get legal advice in relation to your will, particularly regarding your son.

The extent to which being on the autistic spectrum will impact on his life depends on a number of factors, including the extent to which he is neurodivergent and his overall level of ability. If he is severely impaired to the extent that it is unlikely that he will ever be able to function independently, then setting up a trust to look after his share of the estate is probably the best way forward. Having everything under trust would have tax implications for your other children and is probably not appropriate.

But you need to talk to a lawyer who fully understands the issues associated with having a child who is not capable of being independent and you also need to get a better understanding of the issues that your son is facing. There are various bodies providing assistance and guidance to people on the spectrum and their families and you should contact them. As your son is over 16, you should also check whether he might be able to claim Disability Allowance.

Thank you appreciate the input. He's in mainstream school , and will pop off to the shops himself to look around etc however he has immense struggles with social interaction, anxiety and has been self harming. He can become extremely overwhelmed if even the slightest thing goes wrong.
He has just been thriugh the assessment process and Im still waiting for report and my GP can then fill in forms for DA. It would give me huge piece of mind for that to be in place for him, as I really can't see him working full 40 hour week indefinitely.
Im going to pull my concerns together and reach out to a solicitor who should have knowledge in this area.
This diagnosis and concerns for his future definitely need to be taken into account. Also ive attended a webinar ftom AsIam which was very helpful. Will try to link up with more places.
 

lady17

Registered User
Messages
10
I have a friend who is on the autism spectrum. The found this out as an adult and are now getting DA.

Here is some advice that I can give you after seeing what they went through.
As soon you get the paperwork from assessment and gp I would apply for the DA. Keep the originals that you get in a file and photocopy them.
Get a pps number for your son from the local intro (social welfare) office if he does not already have one.

Send the forms and photocopies off for the DA by registered post. Keep copies of the filled in application form and supporting documents that you send to the DA in a dated envelope for your own records.

I think they are based in Longford. Ring them about 2 weeks later and ask when should you hear back about your son's DA application?
You could be a while waiting to hear back from them. By ringing them you know they have the form and should have idea of when they will reply. You can ring them again if you have not heard by X date.
They may reject him the 1st time you apply so be ready to re apply. Gather up as much paperwork as possible to support your case, send photocopies and just be aware you need to send this info back within a certain time period.
They may ask your son to go for an assessment. You need to go with him to this and tell them how his autism effects him. My friend was older than your son so this may not apply in his case.

When your son get the DA is it back dated from the day you apply. Your son is then entitled to apply for a free travel pass (like the oap's). He will need a photo for a new social welfare card which will have this pass on it. This photo will be taken in your local info office and he should have the card in a few days.
His travel pass will have a renewal date and he need to ring them about 2 months before this date re getting it renewed.

His DA can be paid into a bank account. Get an account in his own name because down the line if he is applying for additional benefits he could be asked for a bank statement. These benefits could be means tested so you want them to bases it on the fact he is getting DA and for your income not to be considered.

He should be also entitled to a medical card. You can apply for this online and my friend found they are quick to issue a medical card. The medical card will ask for his bank statements.

In time if your son was to live in his own and was not working along with the DA he should be entitled to the household benefits package and fuel allowance.

He can work if he is able and even with part time work he could still keep some of his DA and other benefits.
The citizens information website is very good in regards to information re benefits and allowances. You can ring them also.

Long term I know you want him to have a home and for him to be as independent as possible. I know you currently have a mortgaged family home that would be paid off in the event of your death and that you also have other children.

I would get legal advice re housing your son in the future. Perhaps selling the family home after your death and getting your daughter or say an aunt/uncle to buy a smaller place for your son with his inheritance could be a better idea long term. A smaller place to live in with lower bills and near good public transport could be better for your son than a family home. I know that people getting DA can be left money or have more in savings than someone getting the dole but a trust maybe a better idea for your son.
I know some people with autism who are able to work and manage ok on a day to day basis and other people then who are non verbal and who will always need support.
I hope the advice given above is of some help to you and your son.
 

dubdub123

Registered User
Messages
441
I have a friend who is on the autism spectrum. The found this out as an adult and are now getting DA.

Here is some advice that I can give you after seeing what they went through.
As soon you get the paperwork from assessment and gp I would apply for the DA. Keep the originals that you get in a file and photocopy them.
Get a pps number for your son from the local intro (social welfare) office if he does not already have one.

Send the forms and photocopies off for the DA by registered post. Keep copies of the filled in application form and supporting documents that you send to the DA in a dated envelope for your own records.

I think they are based in Longford. Ring them about 2 weeks later and ask when should you hear back about your son's DA application?
You could be a while waiting to hear back from them. By ringing them you know they have the form and should have idea of when they will reply. You can ring them again if you have not heard by X date.
They may reject him the 1st time you apply so be ready to re apply. Gather up as much paperwork as possible to support your case, send photocopies and just be aware you need to send this info back within a certain time period.
They may ask your son to go for an assessment. You need to go with him to this and tell them how his autism effects him. My friend was older than your son so this may not apply in his case.

When your son get the DA is it back dated from the day you apply. Your son is then entitled to apply for a free travel pass (like the oap's). He will need a photo for a new social welfare card which will have this pass on it. This photo will be taken in your local info office and he should have the card in a few days.
His travel pass will have a renewal date and he need to ring them about 2 months before this date re getting it renewed.

His DA can be paid into a bank account. Get an account in his own name because down the line if he is applying for additional benefits he could be asked for a bank statement. These benefits could be means tested so you want them to bases it on the fact he is getting DA and for your income not to be considered.

He should be also entitled to a medical card. You can apply for this online and my friend found they are quick to issue a medical card. The medical card will ask for his bank statements.

In time if your son was to live in his own and was not working along with the DA he should be entitled to the household benefits package and fuel allowance.

He can work if he is able and even with part time work he could still keep some of his DA and other benefits.
The citizens information website is very good in regards to information re benefits and allowances. You can ring them also.

Long term I know you want him to have a home and for him to be as independent as possible. I know you currently have a mortgaged family home that would be paid off in the event of your death and that you also have other children.

I would get legal advice re housing your son in the future. Perhaps selling the family home after your death and getting your daughter or say an aunt/uncle to buy a smaller place for your son with his inheritance could be a better idea long term. A smaller place to live in with lower bills and near good public transport could be better for your son than a family home. I know that people getting DA can be left money or have more in savings than someone getting the dole but a trust maybe a better idea for your son.
I know some people with autism who are able to work and manage ok on a day to day basis and other people then who are non verbal and who will always need support.
I hope the advice given above is of some help to you and your son.
Thank you so so much for this information. Somehow im only seeing it now and its very very helpful.

I have just gotten the completed DA form back from the GP and have written a cover/supporting letter.

I have reports (from psychologist and OT) but not sure if i need to send them in now, or if they will just request them as needed.

Ive just photocopied the DA form to have a copy of it. It took me hours to complete. Good idea to ring them couple of weeks later.

I got the name of a solicitor who is knowledgeable in this area, so should be speaking with her in early Sept. I dont really know yet what way to update my will but at least we can talk through options and update to suit where things are at now.

We have only recently moved from rural ireland to Dublin (where I am from), so i think part of me is thinking Id hate for my son to have another disruption in the near future, should anything happen to me, but maybe longer term a smaller 1 or 2 bed home would suit him.
Its just a worry as my family wouldnt really understand how things impact him. Right now we are in a cul de sac, close to a shop and its very quiet, so i would be concerned he could end up in less suitable arrangements.

It would actually be a huge support if he gets DA as it could help with future therapies and would give great peace of mind. Right now he has a lot to deal with and I like him to focus on his mental health.

If any other suggestions please advise. Really appreciate you taking the time to send this info.
 

peggy14

New Member
Messages
25
Thank you so so much for this information. Somehow im only seeing it now and its very very helpful.

I have just gotten the completed DA form back from the GP and have written a cover/supporting letter.

I have reports (from psychologist and OT) but not sure if i need to send them in now, or if they will just request them as needed.

Ive just photocopied the DA form to have a copy of it. It took me hours to complete. Good idea to ring them couple of weeks later.

I got the name of a solicitor who is knowledgeable in this area, so should be speaking with her in early Sept. I dont really know yet what way to update my will but at least we can talk through options and update to suit where things are at now.

We have only recently moved from rural ireland to Dublin (where I am from), so i think part of me is thinking Id hate for my son to have another disruption in the near future, should anything happen to me, but maybe longer term a smaller 1 or 2 bed home would suit him.
Its just a worry as my family wouldnt really understand how things impact him. Right now we are in a cul de sac, close to a shop and its very quiet, so i would be concerned he could end up in less suitable arrangements.

It would actually be a huge support if he gets DA as it could help with future therapies and would give great peace of mind. Right now he has a lot to deal with and I like him to focus on his mental health.

If any other suggestions please advise. Really appreciate you taking the time to send this info.
Just reading your post as I was trying to find a different post.
A Trust is a must as it will set out Guardianship & Trustees & Your book of wishes - also very tax efficient.
If you have a pension your pension provider needs to be made aware of the trust and also your sons disability immediately.
Autistic child may be able to live independently but very different to DSP 'not be a able to fully support himself financially' from his income.
If he inherits anything it is then likely he will lose his all his entitlements inc DA etc.
He will lose all these too if he has savings over 50k in his own name and loose his medical care at 30k (FOR EVER).
Do not leave lifetime interest in home as this hugely complicates matters as it is likely home will not be suitable accommodation into the future.
When he receives DA he can get Household package (he does not have to be living also to get this.
Also hardship scheme excellent for meds not covered by the Medical Card.
Have a look at Financial Wellbeing excellent free webinars and cheap one to one sessions on your particular circumstances.
Also look up ICTC can be back dated 4 years and Carers Benefit also helped if you need to reduce hours / take block of leave etc.
 
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