Neighbour Issue - Any Opinions

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DAC

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Where do I start? Should be the season of good will - I should be relaxing watching the box and enjoying the glow of the lights from the tree but there's something bothering me......

My dog wondered into a neighbours garden - was coming back from his walk in a field at the back of the houses and must have spotted a cat a taken off and ended up in a neighbours back garden. According to my wife he was only there for a few seconds. When she caught up with the dog to put him on the lead the neighbour (X) charged out from her house and began shouting at my wife. My wife felt afraid and intimidated and embarrased so put her head down and walked off fast towards home. (I was on the street with a neigbour and we witnessed this incident.
Note: this was not the first time X had words with my wife - about two years ago my wife put one foot in her garden as she walked past her house and X can out shouting at her demanding that my wife gets off her property. Now X's daughter was forever spinning up and down the street and turning her little bike in our drive and fair play to her I would hate to see a child on the busy road that we live on.

About twenty mins after the incident X rang the bell very forcibly so I went out. She said that the dog did a poo in her garden and demanded very strongly / agressively that I clean it up... At this stage I chalenged her on her behaviour towards my wife and told her that I to leave my property. She threatened me with the litter warden and the dog warden. I told her to cop herself on and consider making a positive contribution to the area. I asked her would she pay the residents association contribution so we could enhance the area and deal with the litter in the area (She never answered the door when we called for the €20 sub and went on to encourage others not to contribute and also insinuated that we were pocketing money - We have all recepits etc. I also said that she should consider getting the dog warden for the house across from hers where there is a dog is not taken out for a walk and was constantly barking and keeping neighbours awake - her sisters house. She walked away and turned around and coldly said that this is not the last I would hear about this.....

She was right - about 15 mins later two Gardai were in my kitchen. I'm not sure what she said but one entered the house like a hill street blue on a mission. My wife and I explained our side and they simply advised us to keep away from her and if there was any more afters to simply call them.... Note I admitted that I had raised my voice and that the exchanges were 50/50. But there was no threats or anything like that. It was more like a heated exchange.

Monday morn Gardai at Xs house and also a call from mr. Dog Warden.


A neibhbour warned me to be careful with this individual... also others in the estate had some issues with X.

Any advice from a legal perspective...

Should I write up some notes and submit them to the Gardai who called
Should I contact a solicitor
Any thoughts would be most welcome....


Ps If the dog did a poo I would have happily cleaned it up if X had to have asked in a reasonable way at the time.
 
All very upsetting at this stage id imagine..
I would say firstly, if your dog had done something in her garden,you /your wife should have cleaned it up,regardless of what way she asked you to do it.
Secondly, you can be fined for not doing so..
then if you have a genuine complaint about another neighbours dog (her sisters) you are entitled to do exactly the same,ie;phone dog warden.
I think you probably lost the argument when you came down to her level,and started on about her fees for residents association.which were nothing to do with the original point.
I find the best thing to do,when confronted with someone who appears to be a pain in the arxx..is to be really really calm.,dont acknowledge her ever....dont smile when she speaks,and dont let her see she has any power to aggrivate you.
Could you ensure that to avoid any issues with her in the future that you put the dog on the lead when you are near her house..in other words dont give her ammuntion.she is probably sad and lonely ,and thats probably due to being who she is,and has nother better to do.
last thing ,dont let her annoy you or alter your life in any way.(apart from the dog on lead):)
Hope this is off some use,and so many others have been there that you are not alone.
good luck
 
Some suggestions :

  1. Keep your dog on a lead when its outside your property
  2. Keep the neighbourhood clean of your dog's "doings"
  3. Keep your temper under control
  4. Keep away from your neighbour
 
I largely agree with both thedaras and mathepac, however I disagree with thedaras on the point "I think you probably lost the argument when you came down to her level,and started on about her fees for residents association.which were nothing to do with the original point". There is nothing better to defuse an argument than to bring in, in a rational way, another relevant issue and I believe the point relevant in this case. Also bear in mind that this person approached the OP in his own home, 20 mins after the original "incident". I find it strange that it took her that long to find the poo. I reckon she did a "forensic" examination of the garden and found a poo after 20 mins and deduced it could only have come from the OP's dog.

I would be more concerned though about the complaint to the Gardai. Did the Gardai state the nature of the complaint? I presume they must have. If it was the dog being loose, I'd be surprised if the Gardai would bother coming at all - they usually leave it to the dog warden, except where a dangerous/aggressive dog is involved. If it was aggression by you, then bear in mind that it was she who approached you on your property, some time after the incident. Given her earlier behaviour, it would appear that she was the aggressor.

However, in the end, your dog wasn't on a lead. Your dog must be on a lead at all times when in a public place and that, more than likely, would include the field you mention. If your dog is allowed to run loose, even occasionally, then she is entitled to make a complaint to the dog warden or Gardai....and her sister's dog has nothing to do with her.
 
Noting worse than dog's being allowed to roam free and make a mess. Show a bit of consideration for your neighbors and keep the dog on a lead and clean up after it.
 
Neighbours can be hell, but often its a question of whether the arguement is diffused after minor incidences before there is a chance of escalation or war and bitterness ensue after a battle. Maybe if your wife had simply called out 'sorry' when confronted about the dog being in the garden rather than putting her head down and returning to your home the woman would not have dwelled on her feelings of being wronged and taken the decision to call into your home and create even more bad feeling. Ultimatley, you being a reasonable person don't want the hassle and stress of an on-going dispute with a neighbour, so by all means take notes of the recent encounters, but maybe focus on putting a line under them by not actively engaging in any further verbals even if confronted, then if she doesn't have any reason to keep up the war she can't as your house will be in order in regard your dog (no Garda or Dog Warden could take those complaints seriously) and your behaviour. Behing closed doors or with your friends you can vent about how angry or upset you are by her, but she won't know she has bothered you.
 
I'm amazed that 2 Gardai were in your house about this relatively trivial incident (for them) within 15 minutes. I went through a stage of being harassed by teenagers who hung out in a green area beside my house (windows smashed 3 times, eggs thrown at window, graffiti all over my wall). Any time I called the Gardai about this threatening behaviour they simply never bothered to turn up.
 
While I sympathise with you over the subject of painful neighbours, you have to take responsibility for kicking all of this off by allowing your dog off leash in a public place, thus losing control of the dog (dog wouldnt have been in neighbours garden if he was under control), and then of course risking wrath of neighbour because of (a) uncontrolled dog in garden and (b) dog poo in garden (only forensics would prove if it was your dogs poo or not but seeing as he was guilty of being in garden you have to assume it 'could' have been his).

I love animals - but it drives me demented to see dogs out of control off leash. You simply do not know what is going to happen. An ordinarily friendly happy dog could easily bite a child who accidently puts its hand in the dogs eye, ear, mouth or whatever. Its just not safe. As a dog owner you have a responsibility to keep control of the dog - simple as that.

I think you should have cleaned up the poo - no matter how aggressively she behaved when asking.

She 'could' be scared of dogs and gotten a terrible fright when she looked out the window and say one in her garden. Or perhaps if the dog was poo-ing on her prize petunias she freaked out - who knows? The point is - the dog and poos emanating from the dog are YOUR responsibility.

The rest of it is just an escalation from the original incident.

I wouldnt do anything re solicitors, etc..., just keep the dog under control and avoid the neighbour.
 
but the OP said that their dog wasn't responsible for the poo! The neighbour sounds like a bully.

I would start taking notes and complain about the incessant barking to the council.
 
gallogly said:
but the OP said that their dog wasn't responsible for the poo! The neighbour sounds like a bully.

I would start taking notes and complain about the incessant barking to the council.
Click to expand...

Where did the OP say that?

What OP said was dog was only there for a few seconds - it 'could' have been their dogs poo - regardless, if the dog is in the garden any poo is now under suspicion!
 
Have to agree with all the replies.

1. The dog shouldn't have been off the lead
2. The dog shouldn't have been allowed poo in the garden
3. You should have cleaned up the mess and apologised to the neighbour

Then it should have been all over.

It was also a mistake to mention the Resident's Assoc. fees. The neighbour does not have an obligation to join this if they do not want to. And the OP has no right to hold this against any other neighbour if they have any issues with them.

What to do now?

Write everything about the incident down so you don't forget any details.

Go to the neighbour with a box of chocolates and an apology note - and bring a pooper scooper and clean up the mess your dog made.

And always keep the dog on its lead.
 
Forget about what the dog did or didn't do and don't take things any further. Just be wary of crossing paths with the neighbour and stay out of each others way. i would have reacted the same way as you if someone got aggressive on my doorstep, you were right to refuse to clean anything up in her garden. If you feel strongly about the sisters dog call a warden, but only do it if you geneuinely care because it will bring more hardship upon you.
 
Thanks to all for your replies...... I know there are things that I should not have said and I'd love to one of those people who can feel threatened and still act cool.... but I suppose I can try harder.


One of my main concerns is that I feel that Xs story to the Gardai must not have been accurate.

We had a drug dealer who was very freely trading in the area for a number of months - there was a constant stream of traffic up and down the street and a few syringes were found on the green areas and even though the Gardai were given some details his activities no Gardai called up and he continued and only left when there was a big bust up one night among him and some of his clients.... We also had an incident where a residents car went out of control and came off the road as he spead down the street he got out clearly very drunk and checked his car before he headed off - the Gardai were informed 2 mins after by a number of res - that was not his first time - he was always speeding in the estate - no Gardai ever came up or asked for details - 'thats terrible was he Eastern European I suppose' was the response the action was nil......

So I'm surmising that they would not have acted so quickly if they had a version of the story from an independent observer - Any thoughts!!!!

PS. This is a private average urban estate.......
 
God knows what she said to get them out.

DACs dog is eating my leg. DAC is standing on my doorstep waving his dog in a threatening manner and telling me he is going to kill me. DAC is on his way across the street with a rifle in his hand as I speak etc...etc....

It doesnt matter. Guards heard from her, arrived, heard from you. They would be well used to exaggeration etc... If you were reasonably cool and calm with them then thats the end of it.
 
Surely the Guards must have said what was their problem when they called out to you. What exactly was the nature of the complaint? Surely they did not say they had a complaint that a dog did its business in her garden?

She sounds like a right crank and sometimes you are worse to even give your wit with people like this.

I do however think she may have been agravated by your wife just putting down her head when challenged about the poo, hence she boiled away and decided to confront you at the front door.

I know we give out about the Gardai, etc, but it is a shame to see time wasted on what is effectively a pile of doggy doo.
 
thedaras said:
All very upsetting at this stage id imagine..
I would say firstly, if your dog had done something in her garden,you /your wife should have cleaned it up,regardless of what way she asked you to do it.
Secondly, you can be fined for not doing so..
then if you have a genuine complaint about another neighbours dog (her sisters) you are entitled to do exactly the same,ie;phone dog warden.
I think you probably lost the argument when you came down to her level,and started on about her fees for residents association.which were nothing to do with the original point.
I find the best thing to do,when confronted with someone who appears to be a pain in the arxx..is to be really really calm.,dont acknowledge her ever....dont smile when she speaks,and dont let her see she has any power to aggrivate you.
Could you ensure that to avoid any issues with her in the future that you put the dog on the lead when you are near her house..in other words dont give her ammuntion.she is probably sad and lonely ,and thats probably due to being who she is,and has nother better to do.
last thing ,dont let her annoy you or alter your life in any way.(apart from the dog on lead):)
Hope this is off some use,and so many others have been there that you are not alone.
good luck
Click to expand...

I agree with the above.
Unfortunately, many dog owners do not realize that other people have a great fear of dogs. They let their dogs loose with no regard for other's.
I see it every day of the week. Some people will never learn.
 
Billo said:
I agree with the above.
Unfortunately, many dog owners do not realize that other people have a great fear of dogs. They let their dogs loose with no regard for other's.
I see it every day of the week. Some people will never learn.
Click to expand...

Some people are afraid of dogs but it hardly requires a garda presence to deal with a dog running into your back garden. The issue here is the neighbour and it is clear that she is a good old fashioned pain in the neck.
 
Frasier said:
Noting worse than dog's being allowed to roam free and make a mess. Show a bit of consideration for your neighbors and keep the dog on a lead and clean up after it.
Click to expand...

I disagree. I find it more annoying and dangerous when people leave their children roam around estates with no guardian. Particularly leaving children mind children.

There was an incident a year ago where a child was dragged under a car after running out between two cars (one of them a van) parked at the side of the road (ignorant neighbour wont use their driveway for cars, oh and its near a corner). Even the childs parents admitted that the car had not been speeding (my wife saw the incident, there was nothing the driver could do).

A week later some jumped up know it all school teacher had written and delivered letters saying that there is an issue with speeding (in light of accident with child). Didnt even think that this was totally inapropriate (because the lady who was driving the car wasnt speeding, everybody assumed after this she was!).The very same "know it all" who lets her children roam her car without wearing a seatbelt!!

The biggest issues were idiots parking their cars on the road, not using their driveways and people not looking after their children. People assume that we are all responsible for their children. I am having my first child in 3 months and they will not be going anywhere near a road until I am fully sure they are able to understand the rules of the road or until I can properly monitor them.

Sorry to go off topic, thats been eating away for awhile and didnt want to setup a new post.

Incidentally as a matter of disclosure, I have 2 dogs. They are only ever out of my property when I am there. In the local field I wont bring them out when there are kids there but let them off the lead when nobodys around. I dont think a dog jumping up on you is any differant from somebodys kids running over and annoying you, its just double standards, in both cases you should have control of your pets and your children. (what about the litters or messes children leave!).

And anyways, cats are far worse, teasing my dogs, running up and down the fences as if they own the place. Would love to get my hands on my father in laws BB gun. I reckon they are fair game , a good moving target.

As for the neighbour. you cant change them but you can choose not to let them get to you. I reckon the less your argue or rise to their ignorance, the more frustrated they will get.
 
"Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours"
No seriously. There is nothing worse than to have to live beside someone obnoxious who is domineering and agressive. Life is too short. We don;t know what she told the Gardai to get a quick response but I have no doubt that they probably got an earful from her as well.
All you can do is avoid her as best as possible but also keep a record of any difficulties you have with her as she is liable to kick up at anytime.
It isa your responsibility to keep your dog under control and to tidy up after it especially if it does the business in someone elses garden.
 
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