A
anthonybernard
Guest
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
>true?
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's
>it..........don't
>waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
>your
>heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
>the
>life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
>corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
>efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
>Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
>vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
>allowance of vegetable products.
>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
>that
>means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of
>the
>goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
>one.
>If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
>exercise program?
>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
>oil.In
>fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
>for
>you?
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
>middle?
>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
>should
>only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
>It's
>the best feel-good food around!
>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
>about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the
>grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
>preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one
>hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally
>worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
>true?
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's
>it..........don't
>waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
>your
>heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
>the
>life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
>corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
>efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
>Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
>vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
>allowance of vegetable products.
>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
>that
>means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of
>the
>goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
>one.
>If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
>exercise program?
>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
>oil.In
>fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
>for
>you?
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
>middle?
>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
>should
>only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
>It's
>the best feel-good food around!
>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
>about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the
>grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
>preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one
>hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally
>worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"