@WHATNOW, I've no further advise to offer you on top of all the excellent advise already given but I just wanted to jump in and say that your not alone when it comes to these types of financial stresses or problems, I think most of at some point have found ourselves in similar positions
I know in my case back in the early 90's I managed to get a 100% mortgage, a fairly large term loan and a sizable overdraft from my bank
Everything was going great until one day about a year and a half later, the phone rang in the office, some guy I've never heard of before was calling me from the bank, "when you get a moment Mr C could you pop down to us there's something I like to talk to you about"
I was not expecting what happened next in his office, "We need to talk about this overdraft that you have"
To which I replied "Sure what's wrong with it, I clear it at the beginning of every month"
He replied "Yes you do but by the end of the month it's right back up there again, That's not how an overdraft is supposed to work!!!"
I left the bank very angry that day but I knew deep down inside he was right, things had to change and they did
It took a while but I got there and am still practicing the habits that that meeting forced me to adopt
Your not in a bad position, your just in a mess and with a bit of housekeeping and tough love you'll get there
And some time in the future when you're on a well deserved holiday with your family, you might thank that underwriter
Best of luck with everything
PS. Don't forget to come back and tell us how your getting on and if you need any advise, we're always here.