Middled Aged Internet Dating

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Futurelookin said:
I heard a longstanding web dating owner / operator of an Irish site on the radio discussing online dating about a year ago and they said the biggest impediment to meeting someone is the unrealistic parameters which the prospective daters set. In mens' case it was always about seeking a MUCH younger partner ( 40 / 45 year old men wanting to meet 25 - 30 year old women and 55 - 70 year old men wanting to meet women in their 30's and early 40's. Thus ruling out women their own age who might be perfectly lovely and with whom, presumably they would have much more in common.

For women their pre-requisites were an equal or superior educational standard. As women are much more likely to have higher education then this creates a very limited pool and of course rules out large numbers of great potential partners who might be tradesmen or workmen etc who might not have graduate or post grad status.

The other impediment was a reluctance to travel outside of their area / county.

Apparently a lot of time was spent administering a reality check to many people when deciding their 'Would Like To Meet' descriptions.
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In my limited experience income is the biggest requisite for many women.
 
Purple said:
In my limited experience income is the biggest requisite for many women.
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I guess you could infer they're connected - an assumption that a certain level of education leads to a 'good' job and higher income level. Presumably more important to some demographics than others but a desire that the prospective partner would be financially secure would, I assume, be reasonably universal.

What I thought interesting is the disconnect between the preferred age for men and the women they're ruling out. I know many extremely attractive women in their 40's and 50's - I think what we think of as 50 in our heads and what it looks like nowadays with people taking care of their health and appearance, etc. is quite different.

Of course if starting a family was a motivation it would be understandable that women 40+ might be less likely to have many baby making years ahead of them but apparently that wasn't the consideration when identifying the age range. Many of the men had come out of marriages etc and were not looking for 2nd families but clearly felt women their own age were not an attractive prospect.
 
Many people traditionally met their partners in the workplace, it has alot of advantages you can see each other in real life not glammed up pictures, you get to know each others personalities . Unfortunately the working from home trend from the coronavirus has ruined that avenue aswell. If truth be told many people dressed up not just for work but to attract partners, no point in wearing high heels on a zoom call. Interesting that not many people have pointed out this big disadvantage with working from home.
 
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That's very true re the WFH, also studying from home. I commented at the start of this that I would have never met my husband at college had we been remote as we had no common points other than our course.
 
Futurelookin said:
I guess you could infer they're connected - an assumption that a certain level of education leads to a 'good' job and higher income level. Presumably more important to some demographics than others but a desire that the prospective partner would be financially secure would, I assume, be reasonably universal.
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I think men are far less concerned with that. Like it or not we are still well within the social construct where the man is the provider and the woman the caregiver.
Futurelookin said:
hat I thought interesting is the disconnect between the preferred age for men and the women they're ruling out. I know many extremely attractive women in their 40's and 50's - I think what we think of as 50 in our heads and what it looks like nowadays with people taking care of their health and appearance, etc. is quite different.
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I would find it very hard to date someone who was young enough to be my daughter. I think I's also find it very hard to know what to talk about.
Futurelookin said:
Of course if starting a family was a motivation it would be understandable that women 40+ might be less likely to have many baby making years ahead of them but apparently that wasn't the consideration when identifying the age range. Many of the men had come out of marriages etc and were not looking for 2nd families but clearly felt women their own age were not an attractive prospect.
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Yep, quite true. I suppose in crude terms they are looking to trade in for a younger model rather than looking for one with fewer miles on the clock. :D
 
Purple, surely you would have your pick of women with your cheerful agreeable disposition. What you need to do is find a nice retired public servant with a travel pass and medical card living in a nice social house......
 
Sunny said:
Purple, surely you would have your pick of women with your cheerful agreeable disposition. What you need to do is find a nice retired public servant with a travel pass and medical card living in a nice social house......
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No, way too old for me ;)
 
Futurelookin said:
For women their pre-requisites were an equal or superior educational standard. As women are much more likely to have higher education then this creates a very limited pool and of course rules out large numbers of great potential partners who might be tradesmen or workmen etc who might not have graduate or post grad status.
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Yes, this "marrying-up" is known as hypergamy.

And yes, this creates a limited pool of men, so this partly explains lower marriage rates among high-education, high-income women.
 
Protocol said:
Yes, this "marrying-up" is known as hypergamy.

And yes, this creates a limited pool of men, so this partly explains lower marriage rates among high-education, high-income women.
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Seems a bit shallow though, doesn't it? No different from the men wanting the eye-candy that's 20 years younger.
 
Simple maths logic would say that if 60 was middle aged then lifespan would be 120ish so late 40s makes more sense from a lifespan point of view. :)

I would usually call someone in their 50s middle aged and depending how they are going they might get away with that until mid sixties but after that I wouldn't really call it middle age :) Some people retain a more youthful appearance and I don't just mean looks but the way you walk as one example really affects how old you look I think so it's general appearance but nevertheless nature marches whether you look it or not!
 
RichInSpirit said:
My main takeaway from this thread is that late 40's is middle aged. I thought that middle age was in your 60's.
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It's a bit like the term "middle class". People with a family income of €150k would call themselves "middle class" but this puts them comfortable inside the top 10% of income earners.
 
I'd say a lot of relationships started up or became more formal during the restrictions, the emphasis was on maintaining social bubbles etc in pubs and restaurants, therefore the social cache associated with couples increased dramatically during the last 6 months, conversely being single was almost like a social pariah.
 
NoRegretsCoyote said:
It's a bit like the term "middle class". People with a family income of €150k would call themselves "middle class" but this puts them comfortable inside the top 10% of income earners.
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Yea, but they aren't rich either so what else would you call them?
If they are paying a big mortgage and funding kids through college, while paying €60-€70k a year in payroll taxes they aren't keeping any staff!

It's a bit like a healthy fit 50 year old. Are they old or middle aged?
 
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