I suggest that you do a set of a financial projections on all known and likely income and expenditure coinciding with significant changes for future years eg
For the next 2 years, until loans are cleared
Maybe following years until 3rd level may start
Then until mortgages are cleared,
and continue on from there until your 70’s, 80’s etc.
Along the way factor in, as appropriate, an estimate for everything from pension contributions, house improvements, car purchase, education costs etc. Healthcare costs, for example, would be introduced, whenever you are likely to start paying them yourselves. Forget about giving the children money now but see at what stage it would make sense to introduce, based on funds.
Obviously, you will have to reflect, as best you can, your likely regular income and likely estimated expenditure.
As for inheritances, that is for yourself, when you wish to enter those into the calculations.
Obviously, this is far from exact, but at least, it will give you a high level perspective based on known/likely changes in income and expenditure in the coming years.
At the moment, there are so many moving parts and I thought that this piece really showed the need to get more specific.
I think the trickiest years for us will be the years between now and mid 70s,
That's 30 years.