Marriage Breakdown Stay Local or Move Some Distance Away

meathman2014

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Hello.

I am a recently separated dad, with 3 kids in the age range 4-13. I have been bought out of the family home, and am now looking for a home for myself. My relationship with my ex wife is currently very difficult, but I hope it will improve over time. My family members consider her to be quite controlling and domineering, and this partially accounts for the marriage breakdown.

The area where I lived in until recently is quite nice, I have lived there a long time/ is "home " to me and I can afford to buy a smaller house in the area.

Whilst I am not involved in any relationship or dating, perhaps eventually I will meet someone with a bit of luck. I want to maintain a strong relationship with my kids, but I am also thinking eventually to my own future as a middle aged adult, especially as they get older.

I am getting differing opinions from family and friends about whether I should stay in he general vicinity or move away from the area.Some feel I should stay nearby and have the kids dropping in as they get older, others feel it is absolutely mad to be any kind of walking distance from a (currently difficult)ex spouse. Everyone is agreed that I should not stay in the immediate vicinity 1-2 minutes walk away!Just wondering how far away is "far enough" in these kind of circumstances? 5 minute walk away? 15 minute walk away? Too far to walk but short car drive ? 10-12 minute car drive away?

On the one hand I want to be near my kids/ in an area I like, on the other hand I don't want the ex randomly at my doorstep / "spying" on a possible future relationship.etc etc

Thanks in advance for help with this dilemma
 
Stay local - ideally within walking distance, although no need to be as near as 1 - 2 minutes walk. Your future possible relationship is just that - something that might or might not happen in the future. Your children exist in the here and now and are presumably going to find the break up of the family structure they are used to very hard. I would think priority number 1 is to be as present for them as you can possibly be. Good luck with it
 
Marriage breakups are difficult no matter how simple they all appear. Your post marriage situation will improve even with your former wife. She might meet somebody else too, just like what you appear to want to happen to you. Your gut feeling is to stay local. So, stay local.

(Sorry, if I sound like an Agony Aunt)
 
Stay local. I'd PM you but you don't have enough posts.

Leper;
Your post marriage situation will improve even with your former wife
There's no guarantee of that. I wish there was.
 
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