Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any ideas

M

Miffed

Guest
Hi,

Don't know if anyone can help me - I loaned €1100 to my brother's girlfriend for a deposit on her apartment, which she said she would pay back at a rate of €250 every three months. She hasn't paid anything to date, as she wasn't due to pay the first installment until June. She has just recently split with my brother - and told me that I can whistle for the loan.... using these words!

Even though my brother has said he will try to come up with the money so that I won't be out of pocket, it irritates me to think she can just get away with this. Stupidly, I didn't get anything on paper, but do have a record of the money leaving my account into my brothers, and he has evidence of the draft which he obtained to give to the owners of her apartment. Do I have a leg to stand on, and if so, what do I do?
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

Plenty to stand on with a good paper trail too. Ring her up and be firm otherwise she will be sent a solicitors letter seeking the full repayment + the cost of the solicitor.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

From experience I think the only thing you can do is 'put the frighteners' on her, i.e. threaten her will a solicitors letter. Instead of phoning her, I would send her a very formal letter. Alternatively you could send her a solictors letter which may set you back a couple of hundred, but still that may not guarantee you get your money back.

If it were Judge Judy she would probably award it back to you, but I doubt much could be done here without some form of agreement on paper.

G
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

gotsomenow said:
From experience I think the only thing you can do is 'put the frighteners' on her, i.e. threaten her will a solicitors letter. Instead of phoning her, I would send her a very formal letter. Alternatively you could send her a solictors letter which may set you back a couple of hundred, but still that may not guarantee you get your money back.

If it were Judge Judy she would probably award it back to you, but I doubt much could be done here without some form of agreement on paper.

G
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If push came to shove and she was brought to court she would have to outright lie and say that the draft was given as a gift and not a loan. At this point she would also know if she does not lie succesfully she would end up with the legal costs also. She could be taken to small claims court either with no legal fees. An agreement on papaer is not needed and there is proof that the money changed hands, only thing tricky is prooving that it was agreed to be paid back and not a gift.

Any way of proving this OP?
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

Fight Fire With Fire.

Get a picture of her, print out what happened undernerath it along with her details (and your own contact details), send her a copy and threaten hand it out in and around the area that she works, where she drinks, or lives.

You wont be long whistling buddy.

BM
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

brian.mobile said:
Fight Fire With Fire.

Get a picture of her, print out what happened undernerath it along with her details (and your own contact details), send her a copy and threaten hand it out in and around the area that she works, where she drinks, or lives.

You wont be long whistling buddy.

BM
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Haha... evil, but I like it.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

brian.mobile said:
Fight Fire With Fire.

Get a picture of her, print out what happened undernerath it along with her details (and your own contact details), send her a copy and threaten hand it out in and around the area that she works, where she drinks, or lives.

You wont be long whistling buddy.

BM
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Really like this one - gave me a giggle to cheer me up. Thanks for all the rest of the replies. Will try the letter and see if that works.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

Has she a car ? A bag of sugar into the fuel tank would sort her out.When dealing with people who owe money rules go out the window.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

Putting a bag of sugar into the fuel tank will not get your money back. In fact you would be in deeper trouble. Circulating a photo would probably have similar result. Whatever you do should be within the law. Perhaps a solicitors opinion and/or letter is your best option but at the end of the day you have no agreement in writing so don't hold your breath.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

You say you loaned money to a "friend", is she still your friend even though she has split up with your brother, and was he in any way responsible for the breakup? If she wasn't due to pay until June then she hasn't broken any agreement. She may be just annoyed at the moment and I would wait and see what happens in June before you start sending letters as that will just make the situation worse. Let things cool down and you can always pay her a visit when the situation is calmer.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

Cop on folks-don't suggest idiotic/illegal solutions or the thread will be locked.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45NHjSv2BOM
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You may find some pointers here ;)


But seriously theres a paper trail which is in your favor . Take it step by patient step. She may be thinking you wont bother paying a solicitor and be banking on that fact. All you need is a decent solicitor and a hard hitting letter threatening action and she will probably cave in.
I've seen the difference between a solicitor who gets things done and one who talks a lot but gets no results.


brian.mobile said:
Fight Fire With Fire.

Get a picture of her, print out what happened undernerath it along with her details (and your own contact details), send her a copy and threaten hand it out in and around the area that she works, where she drinks, or lives.

You wont be long whistling buddy.

BM
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Thats a great idea but can it be seen as defamation if the debt cant be proven ? (I believe it can be proven in this case due to the paper trail)

But wait until the agreed repayment date is passed then take legal action if she is not cooperating by then.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

Hi Miffed, I dont think you have ,as you say, a leg to stand on but you have learned a valuable lesson. You have nothing in writing to connect the brother's girlfriend with the money .I agree with oldtimer who advises you not to walk into deeper trouble. Sorry I cant offer more
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

levelpar said:
Hi Miffed, I dont think you have ,as you say, a leg to stand on but you have learned a valuable lesson. You have nothing in writing to connect the brother's girlfriend with the money .I agree with oldtimer who advises you not to walk into deeper trouble. Sorry I cant offer more
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There appears to be proof the brother gave her the money. At the very least the brother could claim it back.


At the very least be thankful she didnt sting you for more!
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

neither a borrower nor a lender be - case in point.
my mother told me long ago, those types of loans should be treated as gifts, if it gets paid back in full then its a bonus.

Send a solicitors letter but then put it down to a lesson learned.

Personally ok she may be woman scorned so very cross and may pay back when she calms down or else she may be another one of those people who says its tough on you. you took a chance and lucked out.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

Whatever you do don't do anything illegal. Write her a letter, send it by registered post telling her that if she doesn't pay you back you will go the legal route. Before you do this I would recommend telephoning her and asking her for the money and recording the conversation. Don't get heated just try to record her acknowledging that it was a loan from you to her and that she is refusing to pay you back. I assume this kind of proof is allowed in Ireland but not sure. If it's not legal to record phone conversations perhaps you could have a third party as witness to the phone conversation. Alternatively meet her with a third party and ask her for the money back. There is a small claims court procedure in Ireland now if you don't want to go to the expense of hiring a solicitor. You could look it up on the web to see if it covers this situation.

Another point is, is the loan from you to your brother to her. Then it's your brother that owes you the money and she owes the money to him. If you go the legal route both you and your brother may have to be claiming together against her to cover all angles.

Final option is to chalk it up to experience.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

Dont get personal. Get a good solicitors letter to her, have it mention if successfull her credit history will be informed. Small claims court is designed for such things.

See it through - then sing not whistle..
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

It's an expensive lesson, that like me, you've learnt the hard way. There is an old saying "Friends and money are easily parted".

However, you do have a paper trail. She'd get nowhere saying it was a gift. Whilst it would be even dubious, that your brother would give her a gift of this much money, why on earth would you?????????.

The thing with the photo, whilst it's funny & might make you feel better, is slander.

Likewise, the thing with the car is criminal damage.

Wait until June and send her a letter by registerd post, detailing the transactions/paper trail plus the conversation with her. Then state that whilst you do not want to involve a solicitor, is she doesn't pay you she will leave you with no choice. Then you also have your evidence that you also tried to sort this amicably.

If you do end up getting nowhere, you can always include it on your tax return form for the year under losses and maybe get some relief for it and also tell the revenue that she states its a gift and therefore has to be taxed on it. But that's obviously if you get nowhere having exhuasted all avenues open to you.
 
Re: Loaned money to a friend but can't get it back - any idea's

if she doesn't reply to your letters or calls then go and see her and try and bring an independent witness ,better still visit her at her parents place wehn you know she's there or at work where there will be independent witnesses.
also speak with a calm but loud voice so other know she owes you money.. she might be either embarassed into paying you or go the other way and close up and tell u to get lost..
alternatively contact her landlord and inform them that you require to take up residience in her apartment as you have paid for a months rent and have not yet occupied the apartment to the full value of your payment..
main thing though is not to fall out with your brother
 
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