so - do you therefore have to wait 5 years before you can start divorce proceedings? or do you start after the 4th year? i'm not going to ask him, he still thinks we are going to get back together.....
End of 4th year, - from my understanding the 4 out of 5 is to cover if you have a "trial" breakup and get back together but does not work.
also - if going through a solicitor and we had everything sorted and agreed could we use the same solicitor and not pay twice the fees? how much approx would divorce cost or is it dependent on factors? one person told me she got charged €7k for her divorce and taking her ex's name off deeds... i def do not have that sort of money.
Could do but you need someone with your best interested at heart. It can be expensive if you both don't come to agreements on the mortgage etc easily. Sols will give you a breakdown of costs day one but only an idea of the final bill amount.
does the mortgage have to be sorted before we can get a divorce?
Ideally but judge will if you can't agree
Maintenance - no, we have a child together, he pays me €40 per week and nothing towards mortgage, insurances life or otherwise or anything to do with the house. i have asked him to up the maintenance but he says he can't afford it, i think he thinks i am spending it all on myself, which couldn't be further from the truth.
I earn more than him - does this have any bearing on spousal maintenance? would i be entitled to this?
You will both need to submit a sworn statement of incoming/outgoings, provide bank statements, payslips etc. Again sols will try to come to an arrangement if not happening judge will.
The more letters/conversations sols are involved in the more it will cost in the end. Also the big cost can be the time in court. If you have all the items sorted before court, it is a 10 mins thing, if not it can take more time.
in relation to the mortgage he has said he will sign the house over to me without any financial settlement - this was fine 3 years ago, but he made no steps to doing it either. now the house is in negative equity and i don't really want to take over his debt too... what should i do? he thinks that as he doesn't live there anymore that his responsibility to it had ended completely.
Could look at :
Trying to get bank to reduce payments for a while and fingers crossed that things will pick up and house will not be in NE in a few years. NE only really matters if you want to sell.
Sell house, ( if bank agree) split shortfall 50/50... but then you have to rent.
Hand back the house to bank, again split shortfall 50/50 ... but again you have to rent.
This is a big decision and I suggest you get more info from sols etc on this even if you use DIY divorce.