Bronte - usually the child sleeps in the fathers room in a seperate bed when she stays over. There is another spare room but as there is a male housemate in the house its preferable for the child and her father to share a room on overnights. On one night a month the childs overnight coincides with the fathers GF staying over. The GF is a stranger to the child.
It is inappropriate for a child of 7 to witness her father and stranger GF sharing a bed - you may think otherwise, personally I think it is inappropriate. It does not set a good example to the child, the father and GF do not live together, and the GF has no relationship with the child.
Fathers solution to this is to put child in wardrobe.
An alternative solution would be on that one night a month the GF stays in spare room. Father refuses to entertain this notion.
The child is already confused/upset about situation with break up, new GF, father letting her down with broken access agreements etc... (I know some of this from another thread from OP on boards.ie).
I agree with OP that the father is not putting the childs welfare first. Child is going to feel like an unwelcome visitor if she gets relegated to wardrobe when GF (who is a stranger to child) stays. Father should be respecting his childs space and not expecting her to go in wardrobe when his GF could quite reasonably stay in spare room ONE night a month - its not a huge concession on himself and GF if she were to do that. Its only 12 nights a year, and perhaps as child gets to know GF things will change, or as child gets older she herself can stay in spare room (or if housemate moves out etc...).
I think the OP is being perfectly reasonable in her expectations that her child is not relegated to wardrobe in favour of a stranger to the child sleeping in the fathers bed with him - as the childs introduction to the GF. OP also mentioned in other thread that counseller had recommended slow intro of child and new GF and father had agreed to this (child quite upset at new GF and feels abandoned by father), but now suddenly wants intro to consist of child being relegated to wardrobe while new GF sleeps in fathers bed. The whole thing just smacks of the father not putting his childs welfare first.
The OP is perfectly open to child forming relationship with new GF, but would prefer do go about it as counseller suggested, not as father is suggesting. Another issue for OP is father shuts down and refuses to communicate if she disagrees with any aspect of his plans and will not compromise, so now that she has raised areas of concern he is unwilling to have any conversation on the subject unless OP gives in to his plan with no changes. OP is concerned that if she disallows this scenario child now suffers because she was promised more time with father by father but once he shuts down no compromise is possible - and OP is not happy with original plan.