I've just had an AMAZING job offer!

Okay, Mr Bobby has replied:

Good Day Robert.

Thanks for getting back to me.i called you again and i could not get you because i was told you are not in.

Please tell me again were you work?

Please i want you to get back to me with all your bank account informations.

And also dont you have a number were i can get you direct.



Does this mean he wants the details of the account where Great Aunt Aggie's money is?
 
ClubMan said:
Could you give him the number of a premium sex line or something?
Click to expand...

You sir are a genius!

So....


Dear Mr Bobby,

We are having no luck at communicating! I am wondering if fate is against us! Maybe the heavens are telling us this is not to be! I hope not!

As I said I had to leave the salon in the station to do an emergency haircut (as part of my Bobs on the Beat service) but I am so proud to tell you that it worked out magnificently - my client chose easy-meche woven highlights and lowlights with a touch of plum, he thought they were very arresting!

Mr Bobby, I hope some day you will allow me do your hair! You don't have to choose plum, I also do burgundy. Would you like that?

But back to our communication problem: I have the perfect solution! Saturday is Bobs on the Beat's busiest day so I won't be in the station salon at all - but my perming technician Clint will allow me use his mobile phone so if you call 01740 XXX XXX you can give me instructions about my bank accounts!

What I would also like to do is give you a small gift as a sign of my appreciation for you showing such trust in me and offering me such a prestigious position. My Great Aunt Aggie would be very proud if she was alive, which she isn't. What you have done for me makes me think of my favourite song:

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me me up Mr Bobby so I can stand on mountains.

Would £1000 be acceptable to you as a gift? It's what Great Aunt Aggie would want me to do, especially when she left me more money than I need. If you could email me your bank account details I will forward you the money immediately.

Again, I cannot wait to work for you! I am SO excited!

Sincerely,

Robert


PS Do you know if penguins bite? I don't want to get too close in case they do. I had a bad experience once with a similar animal (I think it was a gnu) and I don't want my trip to Africa to be ruined, especially when I will have so much work to do.
 
Very inventive and a great saga Blueberry - but jaysus you're really getting into this :D
 
Caveat said:
Very inventive and a great saga Blueberry - but jaysus you're really getting into this :D
Click to expand...

But I fear the saga may end here, unless Mr Bobby appreciates phoning a premium line that boasts: "All Tastes Catered For - Grannys to Trannys." Great Aunt Aggie would be appalled.
 
Hey Blueberry! Give up the day job, fire your analyst and take up the pen. It's brilliant. Certainly the makings of a book. Keep up the good work!
 
And on (and on) it goes. Mr Bobby just doesn't know when to give up - maybe that's why he's such a successful businessman?




On 30/03/2008, Mr Bobby Fox <[email protected]> wrote:
Hello Robert.

Thank for your wonderful Email.But i am still not happy with you.I dont no why i keep trying to call you and i am not getting through.

I called the number you gave to me and it was a wrong number???

Please get back to me with your account information like this below.

BANK NAME:
ACCOUNT HOLDERS NAME:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
SORT CODE:

Please get back to me with all your bank account like this above.

Once again thanks for your soonest reply.

Best Regards
Mr Bobby Fox
ACTEXO TEXTILE COMPANY






Dear Mr Bobby,

I am sorry but I feel very let down by you.

I waited all day yesterday for you to ring Clint's number - I even asked Clint to set his phone to vibrate in his pocket in case we wouldn't hear it with the Bobs on the Beat hair dryers. He agreed to this, even though he says the vibrating makes his eyes water.

But you never did call.

This was a big disappointment to me because I thought we had grown to trust each other.

I thought of Great Aunt Aggie's favourite Megadeth song:

Lost in a dream
Nothing is what it seems
Searching my head
For the words that you said
Tears filled my eyes
As we said our last goodbyes
The sad scene replays
Of you walking away

The only way I feel I can trust your word again is if you offer a gesture of friendship.

So, if you send me a short four line poem about Great Aunt Aggie I will know I can trust your sincerity. Just something simple, like:

Great Aunt Aggie was a very nice lady,
Much, much nicer than her sister Sadie.
etc

If you do this for me Mr Bobby I will send you all the bank account details you need, immediately.

It's up to you Mr Bobby. Great Aunt Aggie meant everything to me, if you can show that you respect her memory then I know I can trust you.

Sincerely,

Robert
 
Ask Mr Bobby for his phone number then post it on some kind of seedy bloggers board so he will receive many many calls :)
 
Does it not bother you that he could get into trouble if Mrs. Bobby finds out?:D
 
"Please write me a short 4 line poem...."

brilliant - if he attempts that i'll be in stitches.

I saw a program a month or so ago where something similar was happening - basically a room full of people bashing out similar emails - but by using stolen identities, to start romances.

The part I watched showed where a french blokes photo was used to set up some american women - who full on thought she was getting married to this guy - and of course had been sending money over.

They tracked down both the women, the french fella and the scammers.

scary stuff to see how easily people get sucked in - and how industrial the emailing was.

can imagine the room full of guys all trying to rhyme some words for Aunt Aggie!!

Paddy
 
paddyodoors said:
"Please write me a short 4 line poem...."

brilliant - if he attempts that i'll be in stitches.

can imagine the room full of guys all trying to rhyme some words for Aunt Aggie!!
Click to expand...

I'm still waiting for the poem. In fact, Mr Bobby hasn't replied once since I politely asked that he pay a poetic tribute to Aunt Aggie. I would have given him all the details he requested if he'd come up with something simple, like:

Aunt Aggie was the grandest of ladies,
she drove a 1976 Mercedes,
She was tremendously rich,
the lucky auld b***h,
and I would very much like her money so please email me the details of the bank account where you keep the money the auld bag left you. Yours, Mr Bobby.
 
Blueberry - this is brilliant. Your talents are wasted in your day job. My personal favourite bit is the vibrating phone making your collegues eyes water!!
 
This is by far the best thread I have ever read on Shooting the breeze - AAM.

Hilarous, i couldnt make something like that up even if I tried...

:D

SS
 
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