Is the stay-at-home mother model so bad?

R

rubberhead

Guest
My wife put her cherished career on hold to be at home with our kids until they start school. She has told me that when other mothers ask her what she does they sometimes react as though she had said she worked in McDonald's and awkwardly offer something approaching a condolence.

Thing is: I'm proud of her for putting our kids first and I think it has had a positive impact on them. IMHO the working mothers should be impressed by her.

Economists assume two incomes when they discuss affordability now. It has become the standard so in people are running to stand still compared with the seventies when a single income was the norm. I'm all for modernising the family model and accepting the stay-at-home dad, I know a couple of men who have openly said they would love this.

Are we going to end up as materialist workaholics with behavioural problem afflicted kids like the Americans? I sure hope not, fat-ass kids in fat-ass SUVs and nothing else.
 
> She has told me that when other mothers ask her what she does they sometimes react as though she had said she worked in McDonald's and awkwardly offer something approaching a condolence.

I would have told them to f**k off and mind their own business. Each to their own. If your current situation suits you then that's surely all that matters whatever anybody elses' views on the issue?
 
Thing is: I'm proud of her for putting our kids first

And so you should be

I say good for you and your other half you have seen through all the cr@p that is pushed at us from ( it seems now ) all corners ( Media, Ads, Charlie McC. & - as you have seen - your peers )

As Miss Ribena posted a few days ago :



"I don't measure my quality of life in economic terms either. We may have more "stuff" but we have more debt to cover it. We might earn more but we have less time to spend it and everything is more expensive anyway. All the economic success has not led to a better level of public service, IMHO."



eDog
 
rubberhead

All the Working Mum's I know would probably be jealous. There only worry would be driven demented by the kids with no outlet to adult education. Lots of people I know are looking at ways of cutting back on the total amount of working hours by both parents. With kids, the quality of family life is now the biggest thing amoung my friends and family.

Nogser
 
Question

What is the difference between:

A stay at home mother model

A stay at home model mother

A stay at home mother

A stay at home model :D
 
Re: Question

I think the correct term is Stay at home Slave.
 
nice

I think the correct term is Stay at home Slave.
Click to expand...

What a nasty little comment. Some people think spending time bringing up their own children is worthwhile. Clearly you aren't one of them.
 
sahm

sure you can have plenty of quality time with your kids at the weekends. stuffing a quality "family time" in at the weekends is grand and sure they'll understand nobody has time for them during the week because you're out earning money to buy more crap. it makes perfect sense!
 
.

"accepting the stay-at-home dad, I know a couple of men who have openly said they would love this"

I would! Where can I apply?
 
Re: Who'd know

21,000 stay at home dads according to the last census up fro 6000 in the previous one.

Nogser
 
Re: Who'd know

Do Dad's make better mums?
Know 3 men doing this. I'd love to if economically viable.
 
dont forget

The parental leave. I know 2 couples who are on this at the same time.
Each parent is entitled to 14 weeks unpaid leave in the first 5 years of the child. My wife and I cant afford to both do it, but she takes a day week and will be doing so until the 70 days (14weeks *5 working days) are up.
So she should get a year and a bit of 4 days a week.
The pay thing aint that bad either, youd think youd be a fifth down in your money, but with the lesser earnings, youre taxed less and it only works out at about a 10th less in take home pay ( although this is just in our situation).
Obviously you need employer cooperation to take 4 days a week instead of a week here and there but it is worth it in my opinion and I may take it on when the wifes 70 days are up.
 
Most (though not all) of the many working mums of my acquaintance would kill for the chance to give up work and stay at home with the little ones. Life for working mums seems to be balanced very finely, with just one minor drama, like a sick child or a car problem being enough to topple it over into chaos.
 
The praental leave is a great idea. It might also tell you if you are actually cut out for the full time parenting thing. I'm heading into 4 straight weeks in early July. I'm not sure whether I'll be running or struggling back to work.

Nogser
 
is best

I think that whatever suits the family best is the correct answer, after all there are no manuals out there giving exact insructions on child rearing! For me part time is excellent. I can be at home during the week doing the at home mum thing and then work 3 (fri sat + mon) days giving me the added personal satisfaction of bringing in some extra cash and being able to be around adults and maintain my (some what scaled down) social life, you know work do's etc. A mum is a mum and there is no right or wrong way of being a mum (or dad for that matter), all you can do is your best. If a woman is happier working then thats her way of being a mother, she is no better or worse than the mother who stays at home, each "model" is providing and caring in their own way. I mean if the mother hated being at home and wanted to work well she may do a worse job of raising her child because she is unhappy. Once the parents are happy and the kid/s are happy then who cares whether mum or dad work or stay at home. Live and let live folks.
 
SAHM

For your info. bitty I am a SAHM ... and have been for several years now. Yes I agree that there is nothing like the satisfaction one gets from bringing up ones own children, but where is the satisfaction in mindless tedious housework that go unrewarded and unappreciated? Hence the slave bit!
 
sahms

henny, how many jobs can you think of that don't involve plenty of "mindless tedious" work that goes "unrewarded and unappreciated"?
 
sahms

Many jobs may involve mindless tedious work, but how many are unpaid?
 
Re: sahms

Many jobs may involve mindless tedious work, but how many are unpaid?

If you are self employed they never seem to end

e.g.

Unpaid collector of PAYE & VAT for The Revenue

Job done because its there to be done not because its profitable to do.


eDog


Does anyone else remember when The Revenue let you keep a percentage of the VAT as payment for being a VAT collector ?
 
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