Is it ever a good idea to leave the family home equally between the children?

Brendan Burgess

Brendan Burgess

Founder
Messages
52,119
It just seems to lead to rows so often.

Here is a good example.

www.irishtimes.com

Cost of legal dispute between siblings over Dublin family home reduces inheritance

The executor incurred €106,000 legal costs in defending proceedings initiated in 2017
www.irishtimes.com www.irishtimes.com

Should the will not say "The family home and any other property to be sold" to avoid any disputes?

Or "I split my estate equally between my five children. The family home to be sold. However, my children in descending age order to be given the right to buy it from the Executor at the valuation specified by Douglas Newman Good. In other words, John has first choice to buy it. If he declines, Mary to be given the right, etc."

Brendan
 
Most people when drawing up their will mean well.
Often the will is drafted years (possibly decades) in advance.

We only hear of the worst cases of family disputes as they grap the headlines.

I would agree that simply divide by number of children is cleanest.

The issue only starts to arise when their is
poor wording
An intent to ensure that x gets a specific item but the will is not updated.
Or x is to get a specific item and it's missing (a car sold years ago).
A new spouse/partner.
Estranged family members
And finally greed.
 
I am thinking that some homes which have been in a family for generations people strive to “keep them in the family”. I know my family home is in its 4th generation and has been willed to the 5th. What happens after that I don’t know.

I also think if a parent lives alone then selling the house and dividing the proceedings between the children is the best option. But there is often an adult child still living with a parent. This course of action would make them homeless and this is a real sticking point for me. If in 20 years time one of my kids is still living at home and the other has there own home elsewhere, will I leave the house to the one living at home? Probably.
 
Clamball said:
If in 20 years time one of my kids is still living at home and the other has there own home elsewhere, will I leave the house to the one living at home? Probably.
Click to expand...

Perfectly fine. Just don't leave the house with one person living in it to the two children.

The one living at home will probably have looked after you in your old age, so leaving them the home is appropriate.

Brendan
 
Brendan Burgess said:
It just seems to lead to rows so often.

Here is a good example.

www.irishtimes.com

Cost of legal dispute between siblings over Dublin family home reduces inheritance

The executor incurred €106,000 legal costs in defending proceedings initiated in 2017
www.irishtimes.com www.irishtimes.com

Should the will not say "The family home and any other property to be sold" to avoid any disputes?

Or "I split my estate equally between my five children. The family home to be sold. However, my children in descending age order to be given the right to buy it from the Executor at the valuation specified by Douglas Newman Good. In other words, John has first choice to buy it. If he declines, Mary to be given the right, etc."

Brendan
Click to expand...
Any particular reason why the option to buy is in descending age order?
 
DannyBoyD said:
doesn't prevent any of the offspring from buying it.
Click to expand...

I've always felt that it is best to let the family home go rather than one of the children buying it. I've seen quite a number of cases where the rest of the family still see it as the family home and make use of it as if it were. Family living abroad feel that they have the right to stay there on returning home. If the purchaser is not very strict it can become a problem.

I know one cheeky woman who calls in one night per week for her dinner (uninvited), to keep in touch, because it is the family home. They arrive in from work and have to entertain and feed her.
 
Sue Ellen said:
They arrive in from work and have to entertain and feed her.
Click to expand...
They don't have to, but they are clearly choosing to do so; in any event, that's an issue for the purchaser to set appropriate boundaries.

But I believe I am right in saying that any of the offspring can purchase the house if the will directs that the property be sold.
 
This is a good question. I've 3 "children", and one of these is engaged, living in another country..
Other 2 are teens living at home. My son is autistic and while extremely intelligent will most likely struggle to hold a full time job.
I could leave the house to both of them, or leave house to son.. hard to know as maybe that size house would be too much for him to maintain.
I also dont want to setup a situation where his younger sister becomes a defacto carer for him as she owns half the house..
Difficult to know how to set this up. Ove dragged my feet on setting up another new will but need to get it in place.
Would this situatuon make sense to leave house to both children? As the question posed above is there any situation?
 
dubdub123 said:
This is a good question. I've 3 "children", and one of these is engaged, living in another country..
Other 2 are teens living at home. My son is autistic and while extremely intelligent will most likely struggle to hold a full time job.
I could leave the house to both of them, or leave house to son.. hard to know as maybe that size house would be too much for him to maintain.
I also dont want to setup a situation where his younger sister becomes a defacto carer for him as she owns half the house..
Difficult to know how to set this up. Ove dragged my feet on setting up another new will but need to get it in place.
Would this situatuon make sense to leave house to both children? As the question posed above is there any situation?
Click to expand...
@dubdub123

1 thing too be aware of is mortgage protection if left too the two kids (especially if there is any pre existing medical conditions).
The person with conditions would find it extremely difficult too obtain mortgage protection if they needed too buy out the sibling.
 
It is a difficult situation when there are three children and one will be a vulnerable adult. It is usually not just a case of leaving the property to your children but could in time pass on to your childrens spouses or their children in the event of death or divorce. This is when people create their will to have the estate divided equally and in the event of one of the children predeceasing them the share will revert back to the estate. I personally believe we cannot dictate into the future after our death. There are so many variables that could affect our childrens lives.
 
Brendan Burgess said:
Should the will not say "The family home and any other property to be sold" to avoid any disputes?

Or "I split my estate equally between my five children. The family home to be sold. However, my children in descending age order to be given the right to buy it from the Executor at the valuation specified by Douglas Newman Good. In other words, John has first choice to buy it. If he declines, Mary to be given the right, etc."

Brendan
Click to expand...
To answer the original question as simply as possible, "standard" wording helps. "I give and bequeath all my property, real and personal, in equal parts to each of my children, Tom, Dick, and Harriet."

Any other special circumstances can be coded by the legal eagles as required and the will needs to name one executor so there are no power struggles at extended and expensive committee meetings in airport lounges after transatlantic flights.

We seem to have wandered from the original simple question
 
mathepac said:
To answer the original question as simply as possible, "standard" wording helps. "I give and bequeath all my property, real and personal, in equal parts to each of my children, Tom, Dick, and Harriet."

Any other special circumstances can be coded by the legal eagles as required and the will needs to name one executor so there are no power struggles at extended and expensive committee meetings in airport lounges after transatlantic flights.

We seem to have wandered from the original simple question
Click to expand...
Unfortunately life is not that simple.
 
In the context of the original question, yes it is. Read the rest of my answer about special circumstances, which can only be dealt with on a case-by-case basis by appropriately qualified professionals.
 
mathepac said:
In the context of the original question, yes it is. Read the rest of my answer about special circumstances, which can only be dealt with on a case-by-case basis by appropriately qualified professionals.
Click to expand...
As the original question was an ‘if’ or ‘or’ based on the case in the IT on a duly drafted will. My point that life is not simple stands.
 
dubdub123 said:
This is a good question. I've 3 "children", and one of these is engaged, living in another country..
Other 2 are teens living at home. My son is autistic and while extremely intelligent will most likely struggle to hold a full time job.
I could leave the house to both of them, or leave house to son.. hard to know as maybe that size house would be too much for him to maintain.
I also dont want to setup a situation where his younger sister becomes a defacto carer for him as she owns half the house..
Difficult to know how to set this up. Ove dragged my feet on setting up another new will but need to get it in place.
Would this situatuon make sense to leave house to both children? As the question posed above is there any situation?
Click to expand...
This is actually very simple. You leave a life interest to the autistic son, and then it goes to your other 2 children on death of autistic son or if he goes into a home.

You didn't say why you don't want to leave the abroad children nothing. Nor why you expect the sister to take care of the son, nor of why you think she will remain in the family home.

You have also not said if you can fund your own care needs in old age.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top