A
anthonybernard
Guest
Two boys are playing hurling in the St. Brendan's park, when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hurl, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.
A local newspaper reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Offaly Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Offaly fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in Birr, I just assumed you were." said the
reporter and starts again.
"Little Kilkenny Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Kilkenny fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed you were a Kilkenny fan given your friend is wearing a Kilkenny Jersey, What team do you support?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Limerick fan." the child said smiling.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Limerick Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."
A local newspaper reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Offaly Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Offaly fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in Birr, I just assumed you were." said the
reporter and starts again.
"Little Kilkenny Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Kilkenny fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed you were a Kilkenny fan given your friend is wearing a Kilkenny Jersey, What team do you support?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Limerick fan." the child said smiling.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Limerick Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."
— is the one about the guy walking home after a few pints, late Saturday night. As he crosses Sarsfield Bridge, through the drizzle, he spots a figure wobbling dangerously, up on the ledge. Glances around... no-one else about. By the time he looks back, the fella has jumped into the Shannon [loud splash...!] He runs up to the edge and sees the poor unfortunate, struggling in the water, and about to go down for the third time. Bravely throws off the jacket & shoes, dives headfirst into the swell, and strokes out towards him. As he approaches, the wretch cries out: "Leave me, leave me alone, for eff's sake! My life is in sh1t! I don't want to be saved..!"