Help me stop smoking!

J

jambr

Registered User
Messages
66
Its two weeks now since I have had my last cigarette and I up to now it’s not been too bad. Support has gone from family they are non smokers and don’t understand how hard it is. All I want is some one to say….. “Good for you, you are doing so well.” Or even acknowledge that I am doing something. I have to keep reminding them of how well I am doing and then they say “Good for you”. I need help and support but I am not getting it at home.
You would not believe the pressure I was under to stop up to two weeks ago… I cannot believe they just accept I don’t smoke now ONLY after two week.
I am going through a bad time now and don’t know if I will keep off the ciggies.
Please help.
 
Maybe they are trying to be sensitive to your situation? When my wife gave up a few years ago she definitely did not want people commenting on or inquiring about how she was getting on or congratulating her on her progress. So I and others didn't. I guess she felt that it put undue pressure on her or something. She's still off them by the way. If you feel that you need an incentive/reward then treat yourself to something that isn't a replacement bad habit for the smokes.
 
My husband gave up about 4 months ago. Although I thought he was great I was afraid to mention it in case I put the thought into his head!
 
I gave up in April this year and found my family brilliant (non-smokers) but found the OH's family awful (all smokers) - they couldn't understand what the problem was, if I was in a bad mood just have a cigarette! - except for Mr Ney, he is a lifelong smoker so he knew how hard it was for me - he started smoking outside and still does. The main thing is to just get on with it, I know the panicky feelings and bad moods and overall depression but you have to motor on and put all those feelings to the back of your mind. you're doing this for yourself not for anyone else - don't focus on the negativity because you will just tell yourself to have a cigarette - go for a walk - I joined the gym and I used to just bugger off by myself to go for a swim or use the rowing machine when people annoyed me and trust me back then EVERYBODY annoyed me. You will pull through - the first three weeks are the hardest. best of luck and don't give in to negative feelings because giving up cigarettes gets harder every time so try to do it first time (I did it second time around).
 
I'm off cigarettes 8 years come January; best thing I ever did. What worked for me was (as Clubman suggests) to incentivise the process. I chanelled the money I wasn't spending into a new hobby, something which brings me a lot of pleasure and each time I go out to potter in my workshop I am reminded how glad I am that I stuck with it. For the first few months I would go walking in the evenings with my partner; the fresh air and the "feel good factor" associated with any type of excercise helps to drown out any cravings. You really will only feel shaky for a couple of weeks or so,; it gets easier with time and you'll be so glad you did. It must be a lot easier now I think with the smoking ban, it's neither socially acceptable nor convenient to smoke now anyway. My (now) wife was a fantastic support in giving up, then again both her parents are smokers and she hated the habit. Stick with it. As all ex-smokers will tell you "once a smoker, always a smoker"- I know that I will have to be vigilant for the rest of my life, but I have no cravings or hankerings for tobacco anymore.
 
Keep it up, the first two weeks are the toughest, you are doing good. It gets easier from now on. You made a decision stick with it.The actual craving for a cigarette only lasts about 5 minutes but in your head you might be thinking 'God I'd love a smoke' , I'll only be a social smoker, I'll only smoke 3 a day, or at nightime, or I'll switch to Rollies or cigars...... The slippery slope. When you get the 'mad craving' try and still your mind and vizualize doing some 'thing' you really enjoy, think about what you could do with the money you are saving. After a few minutes the craving will be gone.After a month or so the cravings go.Baby steps...little victories.

I gave up in May after smoking for 20 years, tried everything...Acupuncture, Hynotism,Nicorette,and a few snake oil methods. None worked, making a decision did.

Good going , it is going to get easier, you can do it.
 
hi jambr, im off the ciggies 5 weeks,(after 8 yrs of enjoying smoking) I relate to the lack of support. I have to remind my OH that Im doing so well. I live with 2 heavy smoking flatmates and receive no acknowledgement from them, I think this is due to a certain amount of guilt that they cant do the same so wont encourage me to break away.
Its very difficult but just remember you need to do this for yourself, if looking for incentive visit look up some of the antismoking forums. also research the damage cigs do, it puts you right off.
 
I think I remember reading somewhere that 90% of long term ex-smokers gave up and stayed of cigarettes using willpower alone. Cigars are a definite no-no! Most smokers will not encourage you- think about it! It's a self esteem thing: "sure we're all in it together" the camaraderie of heading out for a smoke etc. Then, when you decide that you don't want to smoke anymore "puff!" you've suddenly joined the "dark side". If you feel you need encouragement remind those nearest and dearest to you that you could use some bit of encouragement now and then. When those initial couple of difficult weeks are over it's entirely up to you then. Remember what Allen Carr (RIP) would advise his "customers": "life doesn't end when you give up smoking, you're not giving something up- non-smokers enjoy meals out, drinks, holidays and all other activities- without smoking" (or something like that!).
 
As I posted before - if you fail to give them up then you probably don't really want to give them up in the first place. That's not a criticism but just facing facts. My wife tried a few times but admits now that she was not really serious and went back on them for no particularly good reason. When she finally did give them up she just knew that she was going to stop - although it was hard for the first few weeks. I think that Alan Carr's stuff also emphasises this point about really being prepared to give them up as opposed to fooling yourself that you are serious. In a way it's classic CBT stuff - thinking clearly/logically about your own situation (not always easy!) and making informed decisions based on the facts rather than some distortion of them. Ultimately only you can give them up and any external encouragement or comments are largely irrelevant.
 
well done Chief, i guess you can get yourself something for the money u saved from ciggies, that would be a good to keep u going kickiing the habit
 
I would agree with a lot of what ClubMan has to say above, but when you're dealing with an addiction- sometimes logic and clear thinking can go out the window. So for some (maybe less logical?) people a few words of encouragement at an aprropriate time can help to get you over that initial "hump". For myself I was really determined and motivated when the time came and I acknowledge that other previous failed "attempts" were not really serious at at all (in hindsight).
 
I gave up 5 years ago. I found the hardest thing was the habit side more than the physical addiction. I had to completely change my way of doing things to try and avoid the situations where I would, out of habit more than need, normally smoke. If I did have a physical craving then just doing something other than what I was doing for 5 minutes got me over the craving. You need to train your brain to concentrate on something else at the exact point of the craving.

I was also in a 'happy place' at the time, other stresses were very low which helped a lot.

My main motivation to get through it was thinking 'if I smoke now then I could have just had a ciggie at day one and saved myself all this hassle and time'. I could never then bring myself to have one. I think this was due to the self loathing I would have felt so it comes back to the doing it cos you want to and for yourself and no one else.

Stick with it though as you won't know yourself when you're off them completely.
 
Stick with it!

I gave up the day the ban came in (with the help of Alan Carr) and have never looked back.

The first few weeks are tough - with a few seriously uncomfortable five minute bouts of needing a cigarette - but then it gets easier and easier, and your feeling of achievement will grow and grow.

Do treat yourself the odd time, I started buying the odd magazine with the 5 or 6 euro I would have spent on fags.

I agree that willpower is the best way of giving up, but would suggest reading Alan Carr's book as it does a great job of explaining why giving up is such a good move, and why it's not so hard. i re-read the book during my first few weeks, just to keep myself motivated during the early days.

Well done on giving up, you'll be chuffed with yourself for finally doing it.

M
 
I gave up seven years ago now - and I used an american internet bulletin board ' giveupsmoking support' for daily reassurance, everytime you post on the board you have in your signature how long you've been a non-smoker, how much you've saved, how many you have not smoked, and an estimate of how much time you've added to your life. - all those stats come from a desktop program you run and put in your details. - I found it good - but everyone is different. - If you needed to talk I think you can now call the smokers quitline - make use of every support resource out there - it is worth it. I remember the three targets I set. 3 Days, 3 Weeks, 3 Months
 
well done! and keep it up. you didn't say how many you smoked but say 20 a day x7 days at €7 euro a pack around €50 per week. another 2 weeks and you have saved €200. flights to rome are around €85 in jan including taxes and charges. treat yourself to a mini holiday.
 
Thank you all for you help and advice. Today is day 15 and has been a good day. Yes I did smoke 20 a day and sometimes a little more, have been saving the money and its great to see it amount up. Not looking forward to Christmas day as 5 out of 11 of my guests for dinner smoke.
Thanks again
Julie
 
jambr said:
Not looking forward to Christmas day as 5 out of 11 of my guests for dinner smoke.
Click to expand...

Ha-tell them your house is now a no smoking zone and they can stand out in the cold and wet if they want to smoke!

I used to smoke but I don't allow any of my friends to smoke in my house. Greatly disruptes poker games, but that's life.
 
I will tell them but my mother and aunt are in their 80s and feel bad about putting them outside. I will just have to put up with them.
 
jambr said:
I will tell them but my mother and aunt are in their 80s and feel bad about putting them outside. I will just have to put up with them.
Click to expand...

Then they'll just have to do without. I had no trouble putting my 63 year old aunt out in the stormy weather when she took out her cigarettes in my house. Although one of the neighbours (a smoker) took pity on her and asked her inside.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top